canon: the thick of it

[tweedleprick]

Right, the only way I could be more useless in the things you've got planned for me, which I remind you is abso-fuckalutely nothing, is if I was Terri herself, and that is a low fucking threshold, so don't make me go there. I suppose I should at least be glad that I'm not stuck with Frodo Prickens of the Shitire, but I'm in government now. This isn't the Mail anymore, where going missing for a few days and being found stabbed to death with a hairbrush in a skip is actually better and more profitable than showing up to work.

Those were the days. ... Not good days, mind, just days. Though trying to make the face of Oliver Reeder synonymous with "cock" was fun for a while.

Comments

[dieneidio]

Don't tell me you mean the Daily Mail, mate.

[tweedleprick]

Can't think of many other papers where I was actually allowed to get away with taping Reeder's stupid face to a literal bunch of cocks, though that didn't last long.

[dieneidio]

Well, goes to show n'all.

[tweedleprick]

Yeah, 'cept I went into politics after that, so it didn't show me much.

[dieneidio]

Shows plenty about politics, I reckon.

[tweedleprick]

[ clapping. ] Oh wow, well done, well done. Send that into the Guardian, will you? They're always in need of that biting political satire.

Anyway, politics is better. Lower profile. Long as you're not caught wanking in a diaper on shark week, it could be worse.

[dieneidio]

[ CHEERFULLY UNDETERRED. ]

Less likelihood of getting busted by Hugh Grant of all fucking people, also.

[tweedleprick]

Yes, another one of the many advantages to not working in journalism is not have to look at or read or even fucking experience Hugh Grant anymore when I don't want to. Which is all the fucking time.

[collector]

[so mild of voice it's francis urquhart humphrey appleby?? irving braxiatel!]

I think the girl deserves her chance, don't you?

[Alice he will support you. For the lulz.]

[tweedleprick]

They said that about Thatcher as well. And Typhoid Mary.

Besides, I'm not discouraging her from me, I'm not the problem here. I just don't want to be sitting around here doing fuck all.

[collector]

Perhaps with luck these threads will inspire her to actually do something.

[tweedleprick]

Right, Man behind the pretentious fucking instagram of a mirror, you don't know what it's like to be here, okay - there is a fucking graveyard of inspiration here, and it's not Thriller night.

[collector]

You mean to say you're complaining for the pleasure of it.

[people who work for the Mail, it makes sense]

[tweedleprick]

[ ADAM CANNOT CONFIRM OR DENY. ]

I'm not complaining, I'm only pointing out that this place is about as active as Stephen Hawking's toes.