regarding recent events at poly_chromatic

[aperfectthird]

I am elated that my horrific mutilation works out so conveniently for your 'hiatus.' You were, after all, so concerned about what you would do with me while you were off doing - whatever it is you're planning on doing throughout November, and now you needn't worry at all, because I'll be laid up in hospital for the entire month recovering from having vital organs removed at the hands of a crowd of mental circus performers.

How very convenient for you.

I do hope you've given some thought to the long-term consequences of this, like how I'm going to run the shop, or - more importantly to you - engage in some of that 'shipping' you like so much. It's going to be a difficult road to recovery, made no easier by the fact that I'm not entirely sure the City has a proper hospital.

Why can't you do more of those 'threads' where I'm doing something enjoyable, like spending time with my friends or reading a book? Or, better yet, why don't you do one where I do my job, instead of faffing about like I haven't got any bills to pay?

Some food for thought during our separation.

Yours (albeit reluctantly),
Percy I. Weasley

Comments

[wotcher]

She was taking the Warlock's Hairy Heart a bit too literally, I think.

[aperfectthird]

I think I would have preferred it if I had removed my heart voluntarily. At least then I would have remained physically intact.

[undoubtedly]

Your--




Your organs?

[And his mun wonders why he's so reluctant to entertain the idea of joining a game.]

[aperfectthird]

My heart, specifically. Charming, isn't it?

[And yet for some reason he doesn't sound charmed?]

[undoubtedly]

I'm not sure that's exactly the word I'd use for it.

[Tough break, bro.]

Are you at least getting it back at the end of the month?

[aperfectthird]

I got it back at the end of October, thankfully. This month is for recovering - which means lying around in hospital, and, to my writer's glee, Muggle painkillers.

[undoubtedly]

I'm going to guess that your writer isn't going to let you deal with their effects gracefully?

[aperfectthird]

The last time I was on this many painkillers, I told Amy Pond and Oliver Wood that they should talk about 'Scottish things' together so I could listen to their accents.

[undoubtedly]

[LAUGHING. POSSIBLY FOREVER.]

Smooth, Weasley. Very smooth.

[aperfectthird]

Oh, shut up. It made sense at the time.

[undoubtedly]

Did they ever let you live it down?

[Hint: Theo wouldn't have even if you paid him.]

[aperfectthird]

...Miss Pond still does, on occasion, ask me about the moors.

[undoubtedly]

At least she has a sense of humor for your accent fetish.

[aperfectthird]

[He colors.]

They were very tolerant.

[wait.]

And it's not a fetish.

[undoubtedly]

Mmhm. What would you call it, then?

[aperfectthird]

I just like Scottish accents. It's nothing inappropriate.

[>|]

[undoubtedly]

I wonder if they see it that way.

[aperfectthird]

Neither of them called me a pervert and slapped me, so I presume they didn't think it was inappropriate, either.

[undoubtedly]

Slapping you would be like slapping a small animal. They would feel guilty afterward even if they had been offended.

[aperfectthird]

[:C!]

I beg your pardon! I'm not at all like a small animal.

[undoubtedly]

You're endearing even when you have your hackles up and people probably have to constantly fight the strong urge to take you out of your natural, paperwork-ridden habitat even when they know they shouldn't.

[aperfectthird]

[ASDKGDKDJ SIR.]

I'm not endearing! What in the world makes me endearing?

[undoubtedly]

[W H A T.]

How you take absolutely everything too seriously for starters.

[aperfectthird]

That's not endearing! Everyone I've known has said it was just the opposite.

[undoubtedly]

Fine. You're terribly obnoxious, uptight, and not endearing in the slightest.