dear_mun | The usual mun scolding post

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canon: hetalia

The usual mun scolding post

You've wasted enough time on various, frivolous things, mundane(including putting icons on this account. Which I would thank you for, if it weren't simply another means for you to procrastinate. You have at least three other muses you could have had speak to you, and I have other things I could be doing than this. ~~Yes, really!~~)

You intended to do those things this morning! As usual, you're slacking off!

I'll forgive it this time, but tomorrow you're making up for it. You were going to be productive for two hours today--tomorrow will be five.

Cleaning your room doesn't count.

Or, perhaps you could get some of it done today--as was intended!--being that there should still be some nine hours before you'll be going to bed. [What if I wanna take a nap!?] As though you need that.

Now go help your father so you can eat and stop complaining.

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.......Cleaning does count....

A large portion of cleaning the room is putting her clothes away. All in all, the room is not large and it shouldn't take her long. And if it does, that's her fault and she will be responsible for it.

I think it's fine....Maybe she's not as fast as you?

. . .she doesn't move very much, so that may as well be the case. But that's her fault as well. She could be faster, if she would only work harder.

Perhaps you could help? Being hard on her wont help....

. . .Being in the headspace, there's not much I can do. And being hard on her will get much better results than telling her that it's okay for her to continue slacking off.

.....Why are you so serious?

Is there some reason I should not be? There are more important things to do than fool around.

.....But....The last time I saw you....You said you were 'awesome'......

[He kinda misses that.]

. . .perhaps you met one of my past selves. [Or his future self, but he likes to pretend he doesn't exist.] I've separated myself from that attitude when it's uncalled for. And I've disconnected myself from that me. I'd like to avoid thinking about him.

[So does he. Deep inside. Deeeeeeeeeep inside. And a lot of his. Er. Comrades that he's known since childhood miss it, too. But he thinks he's better now.]

......Why?

[He looks at him with a confused puppy look.]

. . . [C-cute--NO GETTING DISTRACTED YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE YOU WERE. Crosses his arms, closes his eyes in a contemplative, sage-like fashion.]

Because he's a warlike brute who wants little to nothing more than to cause various destruction for his own amusement and thinks of no one but himself. He is neither good nor trustworthy, no matter how friendly he seems, and he'll do anything to become a more powerful entity. He became too powerful and was a clear threat to humanity. So he was ended. Twice. [Though, the first time probably counted more than the second. . . .]

.........I liked you.....You were strange.....

[Look at that puppy look, HOW CAN YOU IGNORE IT? It's better because he's completely oblivious to it.]

Are you saying that to convince yourself you don't like him...?

I liked me, too. But that's because I didn't know better. [W-was strange supposed to be a compliment!?]

[HE CAN IGNORE IT BY CLOSING HIS EYES even though that's not safe so he constantly wants to open them grrgh he'll just stare the cuteness in the face. If he was any other him, he'd probably be petting you right now.]

No. It's all the truth. I know my own history, and I was born for war. [Well, he was born a hospital full of knights and was trained for war when they decided he wasn't a demon. Same thing.] And I know how haughty I was, even when it was uncalled for.

And my government has ordered for this separation and further destruction regardless. Even if I wanted to like him or continue to be him, I do and think as I am told. That is how a good nation should be.

[Head tilt. WHAT IS WRONG BRO?]

That's not right....You're not a robot....Isn't it a divine right to have a mind of your own?

[HE IS A COUNTRY. THAT IS WHAT'S WRONG. A COUNTRY WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN VERY LOYAL TO THOSE IN CHARGE OF HIM.]

I'm not a robot, but I am a country. And a country should be obedient and obey their leaders. As a country, my thoughts are generally similar to that of my government and people's--and we all generally think alike. [FALSE] I have my own thoughts, sure, but being a country comes before being a person. And I don't believe in any sort of divinity. . .it's a bit silly, to me. But everyone is free to have a mind of their own. However, individuality is different from agreeing for what is and isn't right for everyone overall.

Are they? You don't have to act like that around me....I won't tell anyone....You seem perfectly human.

They are. [Lets out a somewhat amused-seeming huff.] Not telling doesn't ensure that no one will know. And it isn't an act. Regardless, I'm not much different as a person and a country, if I'm different at all. But I'm not human. There's nothing wrong with being human, but. . .I'd much rather be a country. [Time goes faster when you live for hundreds of years at a time.]

Pff. No fun as always, Brüderchen. Allow your little munchen some freedom!

[Your presence brings him great agitation. He doesn't want to see you. Especially when your face is all weird like that.]

[His intelligence should have told him if you'd lost your mind ~~further than he's been convinced you already have~~. . . .]

She has plenty of it. To the point that she knows nothing else. She's done being free and needs to put what's important first--even she's been saying that. [Turns away from!]

[Sorry, you sound and act like his brother. He's bound to confuse you. With one difference: His older brother wouldn't dare to turn his back on him - unless Germany is well tied up. Because now: Hands. On both sides of your head. Covering your ears and hooooolding onto your skull tightly and drumming his fingers along to every singly syllable of every single word he speaks.]

No one's ever done being free!! And if you force her in this totally unawesome way she should REFUSE. YOUR. EVERY. WORD!

Edited 2012-10-26 16:14 (UTC)

[Just don't call him "brother" again. Especially not the diminutive variant. He let it go the first time(it took a lot of effort on his part!) But now there are hands on his head and they're big and tight and the sound of that drumming is echoing in his head and HE IS GOING TO try and twist your wrists to get your hands off, now! DOESN'T HELP WHEN YOU YELL.]

People who over-exercise their freedom are! If only temporarily, but everyone must do their work, Germany! Her freedoms may be returned once she has finished, and any protest on her part will be severely punished! [Also, you're talking in that really annoying way he used to talk, and you're yelling in a way that you wouldn't normally, and it's bothering him. He'd ask what's gotten into you, but. . . .]

[Oh, he has a huge range of nicknames for you, don't worry. And you will hate one even more than the next. He happily moves his hands along as you try to turn his wrists so he eventually has his fingers all over your face and eyes and nose and BITE NOW AND HE KNEES YOU IN THE BACK!

...just don't mind him making quacking-noises now while you speak.]

QUA! Qua-qua-qua-QUAAACK!! Kesese- Sounds like Work! Work-work-work! Doens't it, Bruderherz?! And it's ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU!! Let's punish YOU for being such a stubborn stick in the mud, Brüderchen Griesgram!

[Suddenly, pulling his hands away from your head and quickly wrapping them around your torso. Try fighting him, but he's quiiiiiite set on picking you up and spinning you around with himself because that is, of course, the most mature thing to do and the only reasonable way to hold a conversation.]

[Most anything is better than being considered related to you or any form of you. Shuts his eyes with you get your fingers in his face. Too mature to bite you! And you'll get your fascist, capitalist germs in his mouth.]

[Twitch. Attempting to slide his hands between yours and his face so he can push you off!]

It doesn't sound anything like work at all! [WHAT HAVE THEY POISONED YOUR MIND WITH deep inside you're inciting some srs hatred against the Allies because wtf have they done to you!?] And I am in no way related to you, so stop calling me Bruder, especially so affectionatel--

[Oh you let go of his hea--DIGS HIS HEELS INTO THE FLOOR but since you aren't swinging him, that doesn't do much. But he just sort of braces himself as not to waste energy struggling overly much while you spin him, especially since you'll probably drop him if he succeeds. Not that he can't land on his feet.]
What the hell has gotten into you!? [He'd be firing shots to startle you into dropping him if his gun weren't in his jacket pocket. Instead he will kick at you, aiming for your knee, stomach, or crotch, depending on how high up you're holding him.] Освобожда́й!!

Edited 2012-10-26 17:31 (UTC)

[Awww, some of his other forms may be hurt if they were aware you're harboring these thoughts. But not him, luckily. He's too old to cry and yet still too young to understand your stance at all. Oblivion is bliss, they say~]

But of course it does! And of course you are!! AHAHAHAHAAH!!

[He cackles as he spins, and then breaks into singing a simple, German children's song.]

Brüderchen, komm tanz' mit mir. Beide Hände reich' ich dir! Kesesesese~~ Come on. Let's have FUN and DAAANCE!!

[And once more he spins around, trying to ignore the kicking, but it's hard! And he's actually starting to get dizzy. Also: Laughing and singing and spinning and everything at once-- Yes. You guessed it. Just as he bursts into new laughter, he loses his balance and crashes to the floor and onto his back while still clinging to you. At least he's not crashing onto you...]

[He'll learn one day. If not today. He'll surely remind him why he hates his guts if he gets the chance.]

Perhaps to a deaf person!! And I assure you that you are among the farthest people I would consider a sibling!!

And aren't you too old for a song like that!? And there are far too many more important things to be doing and THIS IS NOT DANCING!

[Considering Russia teaches them ballet because he thought it'd be a fun bonding exercise and he's so in love with the Soviet Ballet Troupe, he knows dancing!!]

[Well, yes, at least he's on top of you, and that saves him a lot of suffering and embarrassment, but it's still not exactly a position he wants to be in. Back to actively struggling and trying to push and pull himself loose! At least he isn't trying to hurt you this time.] For what I believe is the third or fourth time now, release me! Germany!! You're lucky I let you get this far without some sort of conflict--perhaps, if you let me go now, Russia will not be informed of this! [An idle threat. Like hell he'll give any country any reason to press any big, shiny read buttons.]

[Though he really has to wonder why you're so strong all of a sudden. Sure, he has a weaker economy(though he'd never admit it,) but like hell you should be so healthy and strong after the War, even if it's been almost twenty years since it happened. It's simply impossible, even with your added, excessive human strength.]

[...just make sure you don't mention doing ballet with Russia or he'll run after you after he catches you and force you into some embarrassing costume and then follow you and nag at you and be a royal pain in your behind until you dance for his sole amusement.

But let's not imagine that now because he actually lets you go since he's still busy laughing his ass off.]

Ahaha! I tripped! Let's try that again WITHOUT tripping the next time, Brüderchen!!

[And if you're a bit too slow with getting up on yourself, he'll push and nudge you away so he can at least sit up again, grinning widely.]

Buuut... What makes you so mopey? Of course we're brothers! And the most awesome ones at that!! Even when you're grumpy. Hehe~ Russlandchen surely already knows that!

[He tends not to mention it. He just shows up when practice is scheduled and sometimes practices at home, but he doesn't talk much about it. And even if he did, he wouldn't allow himself to be dressed strangely!]

Let's not ever do that again, with or without tripping. And stop with the Brother talk.

[No, no, the second you let go of him he got up and added some distance between them. He's not sure why he isn't just leaving. Probably because he hasn't seen you in uh. Years. Wipes himself off, especially his back, and glares back at you.]

I'm not mopey. [Grumpy he will not deny. Somewhat.] Nor am I your brother or anything but your, unfortunate, neighbor. And I'm certain that he--chen?--would tell you the same, should you refer to me as your brother.

[Since you want some distance, he will just advance again. Because your personal space is his favorite place to be.]

Ah~ But why would Russlandchen say something like that? He seems nice! Even if he's weiiiird sometimes. I mean, It's been a while since we were neighbors a~~nd... Hey! I know!! Let's cheer you up! Come on!! I know something awesome!

[He's trying to grab your wrist now~]

[You're already constantly in his personal space, what with the being neighbors and everything. isn't that enough!?]

Russia is certainly very. . .friendly. [Nice. . .he'd have to think about that.] And it hasn't been a while. We've been neighbors for 20 years, Germany, and--no!

[And he's trying to strike your hand to keep your hands off of him.] We are not doing anything together. We don't even recognize one another's sovereignty, and knowing you, you will attempt to drag me to your house. [Still backing away.]

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The usual mun scolding post

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Prussiaaaaaa. NOW I KNOW WHY YOURE SO HYPER IN THE FUTURE.

NO, NO, HE WAS HYPER BEFORE THIS, IT'S JUST THIS PERIOD and I guess Ducal Prussia wasn't so hype.

Let me hug you Prussia. :c

He'll consider it if you stop calling him Prussia. >: Call him GDR. Or DDR. Or just GD or DD.

............................FINE. Gilly it is >:T

. . .that will suffice.

THEN COME INTO MY ARMS.

/SIGH /hugs??? /isn't as awkward about it as Germany would be, at least!

GERMANY IS A LONER BRO. THAT AND ITALY IS ALWAYS HUGGING HIM >:[

BECAUSE ITALY IS ITALY AND NEEDS TO HUG AND KISS AND TOUCH AND GERMANY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND

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