on heading to montauk_1_allende_18

[unsophisticated]

Well shoot, you know I'm down for it, girl. Even if it is all up North-like. And in an alternate dimension.

Think they got beer there? Cause I miss that. Ain't gonna say I won't miss them ugly ass Zombies though, I never had so much fun in an apocalypse before. Always somethin tryin to knock your head off or puke up on Nick's fancy suit. That shit's funny, alright.

Hey, I ever tell you about that time my buddies and I almost got our brains eaten at a zombie wedding? 'Cause we were-- wait, where's yer mouse goin? Post to the where no--

Comments

[gamblinman]

Hey, that shit was not funny, that was a three thousand dollar suit.

[unsophisticated]

I still can't figger why you'd spend that much money on clothes in the first place.

[gamblinman]

Because I have taste. Unlike you, who obviously got your fashion sense from watching reruns of HeeHaw.

[unsophisticated]

Shoot, I ain't that old Nick. My momma watched HeeHaw.

[nickthedick]

I don't know about you Ellis, but nearly getting killed isn't my definition of fun.

[unsophisticated]

That's 'cause you ain't got no sense of adventure, Nick. Leastways it was only nearly, right?

[nickthedick]

I gotta admit, I didn't expect that rock concert to work. Was kinda fun lighting them up with pyrotechnics.

[unsophisticated]

Hell yeah, that rocked! I always said everybody should see the Midnight Riders show at least once... course they're probably zombies or somethin now. Hey, where you been at, anyway? Seen 'Ro or Coach or anybody?

[nickthedick]

Ain't seen either one of 'em. I was thinking about propping a box up with a stick and leaving a cheeseburger under it to see if I could trap Coach, but I'm not sure if he'd fit in it.

[unsophisticated]

I ever tell you about the time Keith tried to catch one a them feral alley cats like that? You see cartoons had led us to believe that a cardboard box would keep alright, but I'll tell you right now, them mean kitties can push a box over and scratch the hell outta your face if'n they really want to. That's how Keith got rabies, we're pretty sure. It was either that or the raccoons. Or the bats he found living unner his barn roof.

[nickthedick]

[ Oh. Great. One of these. ]

So you were one of those kids that tried to mimic the cartoons he watched. I had a sneaking suspicion.

[unsophisticated]

Yeah, but only when we was little kids! [...that is a lie tbh] You tellin me you ain't ever tried to do the things you saw on cartoons and shit? Man, were you ever a youngin', Nick?

[nickthedick]

Cartoons can take all kinds of punishment and survive, Ellis. Hate to burst your bubble but we don't just turn black and have smoke pour out of us when we get blown up.

[unsophisticated]

Shit man, you don't know that till you've tried it! [ Ellis no ] Anyway, it ain't like I died or nothin, you gotta live a little.

[fisherman]

What the fuck is so fun about zombies eating the ones you love?

[ Sorry about Kenny here. He's been through a lot. ]

[unsophisticated]

[Sorry Kenny, Ellis ain't really right in the head!]

Hell, that ain't the fun part. I more liked gettin to shoot the shit outta them brain munchers for it later.

[fisherman]

[ Well neither is Kenny right now so that's one thing they have in common. ]

All you're doing is wasting ammo and attracting even more of them. Are you fucking stupid?

[unsophisticated]

[yeah Ellis is pretty stupid, to be fair] Shoot, you tellin me you don't even kill them none? What do you do when they're tryin'a eat your meat?

oh my god your voice is perfect TIME TO THROW AN ACCENT AT YOUR ACCENT

[materialgirl]

Oh, my God, zombie puke on your clothes in the apocalypse? Nast! I'd probably let them knock my head off at that point, because seriously, ew. Mandatory mall raid, much?

ahh thank you so much!!

[unsophisticated]

Man, that is exactly what my buddy Nick said! More're less. But the mall was fulla zombies too (and on fire.)