[post!Reichenbach]

[holmesisnowhere]

You do realize you've written and erased this post fifteen times? 

You don't even notice if you've got different socks on in the morning. How exactly was this supposed to work?

Please, enlighten me. 

-SH. 

Comments

[remembermeandrun]

'S all right, my mun does that too. Can't get my voice right, poor dear, and when she does, it's fleeting.

Then again, she's tasked with representing me, so I suppose she's having trouble getting just the right amount of 'sexy girl genius.'

[holmesisnowhere]

Having anyone represent me is an exercise in futility. How could they? The ones that have the intelligence - however unlikely - haven't learned to use it to observe the simplest things in life, and the ones who observe either chose not to see what I do, or they're just too dull to understand.

[A pause. Sherlock isn't sure what to make of all of this. Grey eyes narrow to focus on the woman, the line of his lips pressed together in thoughtful consideration.]

Who are you, exactly?

[remembermeandrun]

Yeah, seems like they do that quite a bit, these muns. Things they've got no business trying to do. Sounds like yours is in over her head. Bit like mine, really, they never have any idea when to stop.

[And a smile for you, Sherlock~]

Oswin Oswald. Sorry, 'fraid I'm not from what my mun calls your 'canon', but she knows about you.

[holmesisnowhere]

He's just got what they're calling Asperger's these days. The diagnosis is as close as they can get to, "doesn't understand social queues and doesn't much care about them either." So, not an idiot, but certainly not up to ah... representing me, as you said. Still, it is a little interesting how hard they try.

[The smile is returned, but tight and brief. Like it's a nervous reflex rather than a sincere expression.]

Sherlock Holmes.

[remembermeandrun]

Ah, right. 'Course, I see now. Well, suppose you never really know 'til you get to a game or wherever he's planning to throw you. Mine's gotten a bit better with practice. Poor dear, she barely knew anything when she started out.

Sherlock Holmes. Now there's a name. [Oswin is entirely undeterred by his behavior. And it's not likely she will be anytime soon.]

[holmesisnowhere]

Obsession is the term I'd use. He's even gone so far to create a music playlist for me. I'd be flattered if he'd bothered to chose the correct music. At least there's some Vivaldi, but the rest is just wrong.

[A blink, a headtilt, jammed together in a very small amount of time. He doesn't seem offended, just mildly intrigued.]

... And Oswin Oswald isn't? Sounds like something from a science fiction comic.

[remembermeandrun]

Oh, lots of them do that. Mine's got a few, but she's awful at finding enough music for a whole playlist.

Close! Science fiction television show, actually. And, quite honestly, no one's sure right now if that's my real name anyway. 'S a bit tiresome, but there's nothing much to be done until Christmas.

[holmesisnowhere]

Why does Christmas have anything to do with knowing who you are?

[remembermeandrun]

More information coming out for the muns, I think. Dunno what it really means, but either way I've got to wait.

[holmesisnowhere]

Sounds tedious.

[Sherlock's immediate attention has wandered. He's inspecting the surroundings, lifting things he shouldn't, rummaging through personal affects, inspecting them, and setting them back down.]

[remembermeandrun]

'S not so bad. At least I'll been otherwise occupied for the time being.

[She follows him with her eyes, chin resting in her palm.] Might want to be careful. All kind of people come through here, I imagine not all of that's safe.

[holmesisnowhere]

The world is never safe, Miss Oswald. Safety is an illusion. The world is a battlefield, a minefield of information and danger. [The quip is light enough, but by the firm set of his mouth and the furrow of his brows, the gears in his mind are turning with tiltawhirl sorts of ferocity.] You need only notice it.

[remembermeandrun]

Right. Just saying, something might be liable to blow your head off, soon as you touch it the wrong way.

Safe's a bit boring though, isn't it?

[spider_kisser]

*MJ chuckles* You're the great detective, aren't you? You oughta enlighten your mun, not the other way around!

[holmesisnowhere]

[Whatever response Sherlock was expecting, it wasn't that. MJ gets a long, pointed stare. In the space of half a second or so, he's recovered, and his brows furrow.]

I was using sarcasm. Heard of it, or shall I explain?

[spider_kisser]

[MJ rolls her eyes and then her lips twist into an odd sort of smirk.]

No, I hadn't heard of that until just now. Please do explain!

[holmesisnowhere]

[It's lecture time, MJ.]

Sarcasm. The use of irony or understatement to convey a sharp or bitter remark. Ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely and contemptuously, for the purpose of insult. Comes from the Greek, "sarkasmos," meaning to speak bitterly or to tear the flesh with teeth. In some languages there is a mark to represent sarcastic speech in text, in older English, the percontation point, or the irony mark, used by Henry Denham and Alcanter de Brahm, respectively. While most languages employ slower speech and lowered pitch to denote sarcasm, Cantonese actually employs a raised pitch in the fundamental frequency of the speaking voice - something I've always found fascinating.

Is that enough or do I need to continue. Smaller words, perhaps?

[spider_kisser]

[Blank stare time, Sherlock.]

.... I was being sarcastic when I said I'd never head of it and asked you to explain. You HAD to have picked up on that, right?

[holmesisnowhere]

[Oh.]

[There's a pause, and Sherlock regards MJ with something of a flat, irritated look. He says absolutely nothing, but instead busies himself with looking through whatever's nearby.

[spider_kisser]

[MJ's lips are twitching as she takes in this awkward irony.]

You....really didn't get it?

[holmesisnowhere]

I said nothing of the sort. [The retort is just a little too sharp.]

1/2

[spider_kisser]

[MJ's lips are quivering and her eyes are tearing up. She presses her lips together, holds up one finger and turns away.]

2/2

[spider_kisser]

[Once at a fair distance, she starts laughing harder than you could possibly imagine or believe!]

[holmesisnowhere]

[Well. That's enough of that. Being laughed at isn't something people generally do with him, except for -... That thought is pushed away. He doesn't want to think about that right now. Sherlock watches the woman with a fair mixture of irritation and bewilderment on his face. Then, he decides he's done, and simply turns on his heel and stalks away on long legs, the click of sensible shoes drifting off in his wake.]

Wow, Sherlock got pwned. XD

[spider_kisser]

[MJ doesn't even notice, she's still rolling in laughter. Her face is flushed and tears roll down her cheeks. Her hands are on her mouth as she tries desperately to contain herself and catch her breath. If she kills herself laughing, at least she'll die a happy girl.]