Surprise, Sidney.

[liveralone]

Hey buuuuuuuuddy.

I heard you wanna play a game?

So let's play already.

Comments

[markhoffman]

[Waves of radiating contempt] What kind of game.

[liveralone]

It's a fun one!

[markhoffman]

[Hoffman just smiles] I only play games I win.

Think I can win this one?

[liveralone]

Tough one. I mean: depends what you know, man.

So.

What do you know?

[markhoffman]

Ask your questions. [Stu, meet solid and sturdy crazy as opposed to your wacky crazy. Ever see somebody with killer eyes? That's him for sure.]

[liveralone]

Ooooooh, a serious player. I like it. I. Like. It.

Question number one: what's your favorite scary movie?

[Has Stu ever seen somebody with killer eyes? Please.]

[markhoffman]

I doubt you would have heard of it.

[liveralone]

Oh, try me.

[markhoffman]

It's this one about this guy. He's a philanthropist. His wife works at a clinic for the poor and homeless. One day, a mental patient attacks her, trying to rob the place and he causes her to miscarry their unborn child.

[Hoffman leans against the wall] If that ain't shit, then he gets the word that he has cancer. Desperate and depressed? Guy drives his car off a cliff and you know what? He's reborn. He comes out determined to give back with his remaining years so he finds the guy who killed his baby kid and forces him to slice off his own face if he wants to stay alive.

Guy doesn't make it. He falls into a pit of razor wire and rolls himself to death. But the guy gets better, and eventually he recruits apprentices to help him teach people that life deserves to be cherished, a couple of cops and a couple of former victims and the whole city fucking bleeds but people come out... [He taps his head] They come out changed you know? They come out warped?

I think it was called Paranormal Activity.

1/2

[liveralone]

That sounds terrible. Like, completely un-watchable.

People come out changed? It's a horror movie. People aren't supposed to come out at all.

[liveralone]

...Are there tits in it?

[markhoffman]

[Hoffman laughs] There are women but they're sadly bitches.

[liveralone]

Yeah, but: do. You see. Their tits?

[markhoffman]

...No.

[liveralone]

Worthless.

[markhoffman]

[Hoffman just smiles] If you want my favorite tits and ass flick then My Bloody Valentine. The original.

[liveralone]

Okay. Finally. A little taste.