Oh god... Canon is Red Dwarf.

[uttersmeghead]

What are you doing?

This has got to be the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. And I've seen Lister give Jesus Christ a jalfrezi.

Comments

Rusty muse is rusty!

[commanderubend]

Ah, yes, sir. Roleplaying. An activity practised widely on the Internet by college-aged humans as a replacement for real life social interaction. It was very popular in the twenty-first century.

It's fine. I don't even know what I'm doing.

[uttersmeghead]

Ah. That explains the complete lack of unoriginality in this username thing.

Honestly, when I was a teenager, things were a lot more interesting than staring at a computer screen for hours on end.

And there was no pun intended!

[commanderubend]

Were they, sir? That's never how you told it.

All the pun. :|

[uttersmeghead]

Uh.

[Damn robot.]

Yes, well, those were my early teenage years.

dat icon

[commanderubend]

How long were you a teenager for, sir?

eeeeeeey! Sexay Rimmer!

[uttersmeghead]

...

[Topic change time]

So, I take it you're here because they needed a flat surface to put their drinks on? Or maybe you're here to pick up all the empty crisp packets and takeaway boxes.

Op op op holo style

[commanderubend]

Oh, yes, Mr. Rimmer. You should see the mountains of laundry and crisp packets there are around here. And that's just from my mundane! Heaven!

YES! SAME WAVELENGTH!

[uttersmeghead]

Sounds like heaven for a sub-standard, walking wheelie-bin like you.

High fives

[commanderubend]

With respect, sir, I am much more than a mere waste disposal device. Yes, it is true I may enjoy mopping and I do get a certain satisfaction out of removing a particularly stubborn stain from Mr. Lister's long-johns, but that does not mean I am obsessed with cleaning!

To the moon

[uttersmeghead]

...

[Orly.]

Stain. [Points.]

Alice

[commanderubend]

Ohhh, no. Mister Lister has tried that one on me enough times that I can... er... I can... [Totally trying not to look over there.

But he can't help it!]

Oh, flip my resistors and use me as a clotheshorse, I just can't take it! I need to find a cloth!

Nice.

[uttersmeghead]

There's some smeg over there, too.

And you missed a smudge on the front window when you were cleaning it.

[commanderubend]

[Just grabbing a conveniently placed cloth and scrubbing at the empty space of dear_mun with it.]

Sir, while I am happy to serve, I trust you're keeping in mind Space Corps. Directive 8854/A.

[so_vain]

You're telling me.

[uttersmeghead]

Oh. You're here. Great.

It's bad enough I have to deal with the Automated Flushing Machine.

[so_vain]

How do you think I feel? I have to talk to you when there's a whole universe of people. Some of them are even women?

S'fine. I'm just sat here rocking back and forth.

[uttersmeghead]

Could be worse.

Re: S'fine. I'm just sat here rocking back and forth.

[so_vain]

Yeah? How?

[uttersmeghead]

[Smug look is go.]

Dwayne Dibley.

[so_vain]

[ok, so now you got him]

Ok, so you're better than Dwayne Dibbley. What do you want, a medal?

[uttersmeghead]

No. Just the satisfaction of knowing that at a mere whim your mundane can turn you into him.

[so_vain]

My who?

[uttersmeghead]

Only you could be so unequivicably dense that you wouldn't notice the degenerate at the computer controlling you.

[so_vain]

Hey, no one's controlling me. I do what I like.

[uttersmeghead]

Keep telling yourself that and they'll have you dressing in non-matching spandex and lycra by sunset.

[so_vain]

They wouldn't dare. No one dresses me in spandex and gets away with it.

[uttersmeghead]

You won't have a choice, matey.

[so_vain]

So you say.