dear_mun | re: promo for s16's Halloween special

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re: promo for s16's Halloween special

Of course I'm Iron Man. He's the coolest one, so it fits. We're pretty much totally identical anyway.

[well, except for one really big difference.]

...Yeah, okay, I know. Except for the fact that he's, like, seven feet tall and I'm not. You don't need to keep reminding me. Christ, you're almost as bad as Cartman.

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[DID SOMEONE SAY CARTMAN. Don't think he won't say it, Kenny.]

You mean you're poor as shit and he's not.

I bought a costume this year, man. That's a pretty big step.

Not when you're still eating frozen waffles and Pop-Tarts for dinner. How many balls'd you have to lick to afford it?

Just your mom's. She said she wouldn't be able to afford that KFC she promised you for dinner, but she was so fucking grateful, y'know? She tips really well.

[total straight face, he has it.]

What the fuck, Kenny? You can't just go around licking my mom's balls!

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supoorhero - 2012-10-20 21:57 (UTC) - Expand

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Who is Iron Man?

One of the best superheroes ever. He does everything without powers and still manages to kick major ass.

I'm not sure I understand...

Well, tons of guys use magic to fight bad guys, right? They're not really relying on their own strength or brain to get out of jams; all they gotta do is fly away or use their super strength, and boom - the day's saved.

Iron Man's not like that. He has a mechanical suit with all their crazy gadgets, but he built them himself. That's gotta count for something, I think.

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Iron Man is the coolest one?

You mean Iron Man, not Tony Stark. Right?

[He has to catch them young, okay; it's hard out here for a rival.]

They're the same guy, so yeah. Doesn't really matter, does it?

It does matter, because Tony Stark is an arrogant jerk of extremely great proportions. He's, like, level 80 arrogant jerk. The worst possible specimen of cool.

Please don't tell me he's your hero.

[funny, he sounds like every adult Kenny knows. isn't that a coinky dink.]

Nah, that'd be Batman. Tony's in second place. He's like the archduke of cool; Batman'd be the king. Something like that.

If you know anyone better, I'd like to hear it.

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Uh, technically, no. I'm not seven feet tall.

[. . . . . . .what. um please excuse any gross staring Mr. Downey the only celebrities that come to his town are the stupid ones. you're a big first for him.

wait, what if it isn't him? what if it's the real Tony Stark?]

Dude...

Edited 2012-10-21 02:24 (UTC)

[ Tony will gladly take being mistaken for RDJ over, say, Al Pacino. He doesn't really mind the staring, either. He gets that a lot. ]

Yeah, see? Not seven foot. That's like getting close to Hulk territory and I'm so not as big as him.

[barely another second of silence passes before he starts laughing. it doesn't even occur to him that he shouldn't because dude, DUDE, it's Iron Man. only little kids flip out and start giggling when they're around a big famous superhero. Kenny is most definitely not a baby; he's nine, way too old for this shit.

but he can't help it.]

Nope! Not many people are, 'cept for my fatass friend. That's the only reason why he's [snort.] going as him for Halloween instead of you. Thank Christ for that.

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Yeah he is.

I'm not really a heroes guy. But Iron Man is totally cool.

I thought so. You seem more like a supervillain type.

Which is why I'm going as him for Halloween. It was either him or my old ED-209 costume, and that thing was a pain in the ass to get in and out of.

He has an impressive paint job, I'll give him that~

Cartman? What's a Cartman? Is that some kinda other superhero?

Don't worry, sport! I can add another inch to your height, at the cost of ten bucks per inch!

Yeah, if there's one thing I'm never gonna start doing, it's giving money to a child molester.

Wow. First of all, there's about twenty things wrong with that statement. How else do you want me to finance my lifestyle?

Meth.

I hear scalping Nintendo shit works out pretty good too.

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