[ It's always a good thing when your superior officer isn't watching, because there's a stiffness in your hands, a little bit strong and a little more cold and altogether digging deep, prickles, thorns, what botanical metaphor have you, because plant persuasion and biological inclination do very little, very late to prepare you for looking your captain in the - closed, thank you! thank you, captain! - eyes and ---
Clenching your fingers. Releasing. Clench. Release. Clench. Release. Clench -
All right, Shouta-kun, you'd better not have cheated! Think of the example you'd be giving that poor bunny, hmmm? His whiskers would wrinkle. Open up, and you can guess how many cheeky smiling faces I made. The loser is stuck taking down detailed reports from intel for the rest of the week.
His whiskers could use a few more wrinkles, if you ask me. [ He opens them up, nice and clear. ] But I'm probably not the best role model. Good thing he's actually a terrible listener, huh?
[ You should know better by now, Vice Captain, and maybe you do, but he doesn't need to cheat, even when he smiles like he already has. ]
[ Shouta's not a great practitioner of patience, or self-restraint. It's why he doesn't simply pull rank as often as he should, not when it's such a small virtue that he tosses into the pond time after time, casting ripple after ripple on the surface. It's a decent lure, and he believes in it with the determination of a fool.
Think with your heart.
At least look him in the eye when you're going to do something like that. ]
I'd say somewhere between forty-five. [ Shouta reaches out and rests a hand against his cheek. Stay with him, here. It's what you've always been good at. ]
[ It's difficult dignifying weak consolation gestures with a nod, when you're so suddenly engrossed in the study of your shoes.
They're slim. Narrow. Could use a fresher polish.
How disrespectful. You don't take the weight off your superior's shoulders with a stiff upper lip and unpolished shoes. It doesn't happen. It just doesn't. ]
[ Her smile is warm, and kind. Sometimes she wishes Shouta's lived an easier life. Though, she thinks, if he did, the concept of rest would be more terrifying to him. ]
[ Cheater, with that smile. He sighs in unequivocal defeat, and goes to sit beside her. ]
Looks like that makes two of us. [ The truth of the matter exists in the way he says it: not really surprise, perhaps, given what he knows and what he does. Or what he's done. ]
She notices that familiar thread of acceptance and defeat, the things he blames himself for. Therein lies a thread of sadness - she would return him if she could; too many people die and leave too many people behind.
Open wounds, broken hearts. Too many people carry it over, the bittersweet sadness and longing for what's already lost. ]
[ It's just sort of the thing that happens, when you're rushing forward as fast as you can and you're taking the weight of all that came before you along for the ride. That's humanity, to him.
Maybe he was tired a long while before that, but he expected it to be a result, not a consequence. ]
I'd watch who you're calling silly. [ LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE IT SOMETIMES. Glutton. He rests the flats of his arms on his knees, lacing his fingers. As an afterthought, he nudges back. The weight is nice. ] He might hate me, after all.
[ Her touch gives him a start he doesn't quite let carry through. He can't really argue with what she's saying, or maybe he just knows better by now than to go up against her; he'll lose. ] Well...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
She hoped for a different outcome.
no subject
They were some odds to go up against.
[facepalm]
( maybe chiding, now, but look! hypocrisy, can you feel it. )
[sinkingcat]
Faith doesn't really have to be fifty-fifty, does it?
/ klee... nex...
That doesn't sound like a good deal of fun in a lose/lose situation.
no subject
But come on, for you that's unusually dreary.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Captain, my captain, be brave! Close your eyes... one little lid going down... the second little going down...
no subject
[ But he obliges, if not with knitted brows. ]
1/2
Clenching your fingers. Releasing. Clench. Release. Clench. Release. Clench -
Breathe.
Damned metacarpals.
Breathe. ]
no subject
All right, Shouta-kun, you'd better not have cheated! Think of the example you'd be giving that poor bunny, hmmm? His whiskers would wrinkle. Open up, and you can guess how many cheeky smiling faces I made. The loser is stuck taking down detailed reports from intel for the rest of the week.
1/2
[ You should know better by now, Vice Captain, and maybe you do, but he doesn't need to cheat, even when he smiles like he already has. ]
no subject
[ Shouta's not a great practitioner of patience, or self-restraint. It's why he doesn't simply pull rank as often as he should, not when it's such a small virtue that he tosses into the pond time after time, casting ripple after ripple on the surface. It's a decent lure, and he believes in it with the determination of a fool.
Think with your heart.
At least look him in the eye when you're going to do something like that. ]
I'd say somewhere between forty-five. [ Shouta reaches out and rests a hand against his cheek. Stay with him, here. It's what you've always been good at. ]
And not a single one.
no subject
They're slim. Narrow. Could use a fresher polish.
How disrespectful. You don't take the weight off your superior's shoulders with a stiff upper lip and unpolished shoes. It doesn't happen. It just doesn't. ]
...0.45. That's a Colt, isn't it?
no subject
Standard issue.
no subject
[ He could, given time, inclination, and the energy resources of a tiny red dwarf possibly care less about that right now. ]
no subject
[ Paperwork. ]
no subject
[ ... ]
[ ...... ]
[ .................. ]
...I lost count.
no subject
no subject
Captaaaain, be fair, would you trusted second lie to you?
[ Careful with your answers to the person who makes your coffee, Shouta. ]
no subject
[ Low blow, don't tarnish the sanctity if his caffeine. ]
no subject
I'll let you sneak the paperwork mountain on that poor rabbit's desk, if you exercise him and give him a treat after.
no subject
no subject
She seems disappointed it wasn't me...
no subject
Hey, now. Whatever you're thinking, knock it off.
no subject
...
(I'm so sorry.)
no subject
(He doesn't like it when you look like that.) ]
As I recall, I never gave you permission to act so stupid. So none of that, got it?
no subject
no subject
[ You and your logic. Let him downplay. ]
Can't say I'm looking forward to riding this out, though.
no subject
No one really does, though you're awfully calm about it. Are you afraid?
no subject
Should I be?
no subject
[ Her smile is warm, and kind. Sometimes she wishes Shouta's lived an easier life. Though, she thinks, if he did, the concept of rest would be more terrifying to him. ]
I wasn't expecting you so quickly, I must say.
no subject
Looks like that makes two of us. [ The truth of the matter exists in the way he says it: not really surprise, perhaps, given what he knows and what he does. Or what he's done. ]
no subject
She notices that familiar thread of acceptance and defeat, the things he blames himself for. Therein lies a thread of sadness - she would return him if she could; too many people die and leave too many people behind.
Open wounds, broken hearts. Too many people carry it over, the bittersweet sadness and longing for what's already lost. ]
Hey.
no subject
Maybe he was tired a long while before that, but he expected it to be a result, not a consequence. ]
Hey, yourself.
no subject
Silly. Your friend will be all right; it'll just take awhile.
no subject
I'd watch who you're calling silly. [ LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE IT SOMETIMES. Glutton. He rests the flats of his arms on his knees, lacing his fingers. As an afterthought, he nudges back. The weight is nice. ] He might hate me, after all.
no subject
He does. [ She looks down at those fingers contemplatively. ] But he loves you more than he hates you, I should think.
no subject
Can't exactly blame him for that. [ And he doesn't, even if it stings. ] No matter how I tried to think it through, I only came up with one answer.
no subject
What's that?
no subject
I'd have to get him to hate me. I'm pretty used to that, though.
no subject
[ Hate like that is a very special thing - it doesn't erase what you have for the person, it doesn't make it easier. ]
no subject
no subject
[ Shouta did mess it up, that silly boy, and she puts a hand over his interlaced fingers. She frowns. ]
Why do you think that having people hate you is simpler?
no subject
no subject
[ It was easier to lose someone you hated with every fiber of your being than it was to lose someone you loved. Logic. ]