new muse, voice testing

[ungodlike]

 Ok, so, uh, don't you think this just one too many levels of metafiction going on here? The writer writing the writer who just, y'know, happens to be a prophet? Is any of this striking you as kind of ridiculous?

Not that I don't appreciate your plans to have me end up "BFFs" with Castiel, and yes, I'm aware how sad my lack of a social life is that that doesn't actually sound too bad, but... Jesus, what is it about me? Is my life just that much fun to screw around with? Because I promise you, it really, really isn't. And I'm tired of being subject to the whim of whatever divine entity or bored 20-something who wants to jerk me around like a puppet.

Look, look, fine. Just. If we're gonna do this, can you at least make it as painless as possible?

-- Chuck

Comments

[decadency]

We're in an era of post-modernity. So, uh, I don't think they care.

[ Writers. About meta. Or Heaven. About jerking people around. It sucks, but, hey, such is life. ]

Just saying.

[ungodlike]

Oh, my existence is post-modern, wonderful. Could I at least get something to drink here!? Coffee? Anything!?

[The latter is shouted in arm-waving frustration vaguely up at the ceiling, as if he expects his writer to be lurking up there somewhere, his attention still more on himself than Cas. Then it snaps to, and he frowns.]

Wait, Castiel? Wait, wait, you're not supposed to be... real. You you, I mean. This version of you.

[decadency]

[ He considers for a moment and then frowns deeply. ] You aren't supposed to be fictional.

[ Pause. And a smirk. ] Post-modernism. It's a bitch. [ What can you do. ]

And it's, uh, just Cas. Now. [ He's sure you understand why. ]

[ungodlike]

No, I mean. [He gestures uselessly.] You were just. When I wrote you. That future was just... Zacharia fucking with Dean, that wasn't actually real.

[God, this is giving him a headache.]

So what is this, quantum... whatever? Every potential possibility? Either that or my life has just turned into a giant damn crossover fanfic.

[decadency]

[ Whether it was meant to be real or not, it was real for him. ]

I don't know what the last thing is, but time's, uh. Time's like a river. If you let it, it just sort of—flows everywhere.

[ungodlike]

[Well, that's profound. Of course, this Castiel had been prone to those sorts of statements, Chuck remembers from writing The End. It had been kind of funny, in an utterly tragic sort of way.]

Um, it's. People on the internet, they-- basically any fictional universe is fair game to get kind of... smashed into any other fictional universe. So you get stories where, like, the Winchesters meet Doctor Who, or Sam hooks up with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Or whatever.

[Beat.]

Not that you care? And obviously you all aren't fictional. But. Same principle.

[decadency]

[ It's not all that profound. It's more the only way he can think to explain it. It's not like he actually gets how this shit works either.

But he listens to your explanation. He doesn't know either of those references but he assumes they're some kind of book/television/film/stuff Dean knows about. ]

So. Dean could meet Batman. [ Is the basic premise. Yes? He considers for a moment. ] Wouldn't that mean we were all fictional?

[ Pause. ]

It seems that it would make more sense if either everyone was fictional or everyone was real, rather than some being fictional and others real. Though if everyone's the same, it doesn't matter then, as long as we all perceive ourselves to be real.

. . . Interesting.

[ He rubs at his chin with his index finger and nods. ] Crossovers. Mm.

[chosenfamily]

Sorry, Chuck. I'm not sure these muns know what 'painless' means.

Or...well, as my mun says. It's painless for her.

[ungodlike]

It always is. [Said a little hysterically, hands lifting to tug on his hair. He laughs mirthlessly.] Or it oughta be. Not that I'd know about painless writing.

>.> I totally didn't forget this post. Really.

[chosenfamily]

Yeah, well. The thing about your writing, at least, is that you're not really involved in making it happen. You're...kind of writing a history book, I guess.

With a weird-ass fandom.

[doalim]

[well, Chuck, clearly this means you need every version of your awkwardest child to be BFFs with.]

As Sam said, I don't think [there's the slightest bit of hesitation here] "painless" is in their vocabularies.

[ungodlike]

Castiel.

[Somehow being face to face with Cas is weirder than being face to face with Sam and Dean. Maybe it's because he's an angel. Maybe it's just that Cas is, generally, a bit weird. Chuck doesn't know. He sighs.]

Yeah, I'm getting that impression. I kinda feel like I'm getting my comeuppance.

[doalim]

["a bit weird" is the understatement of the millennium, but that's just how he rolls.]

That would imply you did something to deserve it.

[an expectant look, here. Chuck may be a painfully nice guy, but Cas is a little out of the loop.]

[if only he knew. Oh well.]

[ungodlike]

Um, the Supernatural books?

[Eyebrows. Yes? You've heard of them? No?]

Just. Playing God with people's lives. I mean, I know I'm not... making the events happen, that I'm just a-- mouthpiece. [he sounds a little bitter about that, because Chuck, at least at this state in affairs, is a little out of the loop too.] Still.

[doalim]

Oh. The Gospels. They were meant to be written.

[he's got 'em, eyebrows, but he doesn't usually know what to do with them. Getting better at that, though. Slowly.]

I don't see the problem.

[they forgot to teach human ethics in angel Sunday school.]

[Of course, a lot of things that were "meant to" happen kind of sucked, like the Apocalypse, so he's starting to reconsider. Unfortunately the words are already out of his mouth. That's what he gets for not having a filter.]

[ungodlike]

Meant to be written. [Chuck's laugh is cracked, and slightly hysterical. It sounds out of practise. He shakes his head.]

It just feels kind of like cosmic karma, that now I'm at the mercy of a capricious god of a writer of my own.

[doalim]

I, uh. [whoops. At least he notices emotional distress now.]

That's not how karma works. In theory. Of course, it's all pagan propaganda. [Cas, just quit while you're ahead.]

[ungodlike]

[Cas's utter failure to recognise and understand human emotions is actually incredibly amusing. Of course, that might just be the distress, sobriety, and creeping hysteria talking, but Chuck'll take what he can get.]

Humans [this is very important; attend carefully] are not rational creatures, Castiel.

[doalim]

Yes, I learned that. From Dean, mostly.

[after a short delay:] Sam helped.

[he adds a slight nod and the expression he has that's closest to a smile for good measure. Why he's proud of the Winchesters for this, who knows.]

It makes certain things more difficult, though.

[ungodlike]

[A little snort. He's noticed, yeah. He's been watching, remember? ]

Like what?

[It's a genuine question, and if his voice squeaks a little, it's just out of habit.]

[doalim]

[he falls silent for a moment. There are a lot of things, many of which he doesn't exactly know how to express. If the brothers had followed the Plan, what then? He'd still be a good little soldier. He wouldn't have defied Michael, Lucifer, all of Heaven for them. There wouldn't be a war now.]

[he wouldn't have to resort to any desperate measures to end it. But he hasn't quite learned the meaning of regret yet. Inevitably, he will. The price of free will is taking the wrong course of action and suffering for it.]

It makes them--impossible to predict.

[ungodlike]

Yeah.

[Sometimes Chuck wishes he had a little more trouble predicting things. His life seems to be an utterly unfair mix of knowing far more than he wants to, and knowing nothing at all. It kind of sucks.]

Guess you're used to things following the... ineffable plan, huh?

[doalim]

Not for some time now. [there's a profound bitterness in his voice, and by definition the dramatic irony of the moment is lost on him.] The "ineffable plan" became a farce the moment our Father left us.

[tricks_and_treats]

[Archangel munching on a candy bar here.]

'Painless' is nowhere close to being in their vocabulary, bucko. You can just scratch that off your list of possibilities.

[ungodlike]

[Chuck squints at Gabriel for a moment or two, brows furrowed, because he's never met you but goddamn if he doesn't recognise you.]

Gabriel.

[Brilliant.]

Big old party here, isn't it? I can't wait for the fun to start.

[Rarely has anyone sounded more dejected at the notion of 'fun'.]

[tricks_and_treats]

[Gabriel flashes a grin.]

Chuck. Thought you'd skip that little part of your history lesson.

[Kinda wish he did. Oh well.]

Ooooh, it's not all bad. Minus the torture, the death, the mental scarring, the terrible memories, and the whole 'losing people' thing, you could have some good times around here.

[ungodlike]

[Sigh. It's kind of a snitty sigh.]

It's not a history lesson, it's in my head.

[And frankly, Gabriel, you're not all that enjoyable to have in his head. He tones down the snittiness, though, because this is, after all, an Archangel, and Chuck is kiiiind of terrified by them. Even if Gabriel seems less angelic than certain others.]

I'm just going to hope she forgets about me.

Sorry for the wait. School got in the way.

[tricks_and_treats]

True, true. Hey, you could just blip out on some details here or there. I'm sure no one would really give a crap.

[Hey, at least someone around here is. Sam and Dean need to stop giving Gabriel sass.]

Probably not going to happen, but join the club, Chucky.

Please, have ALL the Castiels

[betterthisway]

I don't understand what a BFF is.

Would you like a sandwich before or after I point out how overrated free will is? Unless you have no purpose left. Then... it is a very nice thing to fall back on. To choose between bees and monkeys.

allllll the castiels

[ungodlike]

Uhm. It's... netspeak. Stands for best friends forever.

[But he sounds a little distracted, frowning in incomprehension at Cas, because mostly the angel he's been having visions of, while definitely unsettling and inhuman in many ways, generally sounds a little more... put together.]

And you... don't have to make me a sandwich.

[betterthisway]

We cannot be BFFs then, Chuck.

You'll grow old and die.

Don't worry, I'm sure it won't be as uncomfortable as it looks.

[ungodlike]

[Chuck remembers being really kind of pleased with himself when he first wrote Castiel and his particular brand of clueless literalism. Different from the way angels were usually written, he'd thought, how clever, to consider how such an alien creature would really deal with humans. He feels less clever, getting it first-hand.]

I-- yeah, thanks, Castiel, I know that. Believe me, I'm more than usually aware of the fact. It's not meant literally. It just means... my writer wants me to be friends with you. Another you.