his mun and her horrible horrible habits

[bromachine]

No. I don't care if it sent your friend into a...I don't know what that was. A keysmash fit. Anyway, you are not sending me anywhere but back home. This is a bad idea, and I know bad ideas.

[Hi Tony]

Now get some sleep. You're worse than Tony.

Comments

[amygdalae]

'Keysmash fit' is close enough, I'd say.

[Hello Rhodey, meet Tony's new BFF.]

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU

[technetronic]

Don't be like that, cupcake.

[bromachine]

It was insane. Dummy is more coherent than that was.

♥♥

[bromachine]

Tony, my mun is up at three forty five in the morning and it is all your fault.

[technetronic]

As they say on the internet, YOLO.

[amygdalae]

She didn't do it as much when my mun agreed. I almost feel rejected.

[Wryly, but the smile he has kind of overrides that. He's glad for Tony, really.]

[wwii]

Looks like that journal name you picked out's having a similar effect on my gal, so call it karma.

[bromachine]

She--and Tony--probably miss his nanny.

[bromachine]

No. No. You're not going to start using internet slang with me, Tony. What does "yolo" even mean?

[bromachine]

Blame Tony.

[Story of his life, man]

Besides, "honeybear" was taken.

[worldsgreatestmarksman]

It means "I'm an enormous douche," and also typically, "I like to have unprotected sex."

[Oh, what, I mean, don't mind the master assassin suddenly popping up behind you or anything. He's harmless. Really.]

[bromachine]

[He jumps but, hey. No worse than JARVIS]

Y'know, Tony's only a douche half the time. And since we don't have a bunch of baby Tonys running around....

[Take a moment to picture that, Robin Hood]

[worldsgreatestmarksman]

[Ooh, Robin Hood, that's original. Have a half shrug.] Maybe he's infertile, how should I know?

[It's not like he spends a lot of time thinking about Tony's sex life.]

[bromachine]

[Katniss?]

Because there hasn't been a big Newsweek spread yet.

[worldsgreatestmarksman]

[Please. Do you know how many times she missed in that movie? Hawkeye is at least Princess Merida.]

How the hell would Newsweek know if Stark was shooting blanks?

[bromachine]

It's Tony.

[worldsgreatestmarksman]

[Disgusted look at what that implies.]

... here's the thing. Chatting about Tony Stark's sex life comes in just about last on the list of things I want to do in my life.

Actually, it's not even on there at all.

[bromachine]

You started it.

[worldsgreatestmarksman]

No. I told you what YOLO meant in the general scheme of all things internet. You're the one who chose to apply that to Stark.

[bromachine]

You used the terms "douchebag" and "unprotected sex". Call it conditioning.

[He loves his bro, but let's face it]

[worldsgreatestmarksman]

Here's the thing. If I'm talking about sex? I'm probably not talking about Stark. Unless of course the words OH GOD NO follow that.

[bromachine]

Duly noted.

[wwii]

Tough luck. You look like a honeybear.

[bromachine]

...oh God, there's two of you.

[efficacy]

You have no idea how much I sympathize with you, Rhodey, but... well, you said it yourself. These people really can be worse than Tony, and you know how well he listens.