On the unfortunate breakup

[prophetic_name]

I'm not entirely sure what you expect me to do now. I know you want things fixed, but I can't just forget it all. He's always been a prat, but he's never been quite this much of a prat to me.

He clearly doesn't care, and that's...more than I can put up with. I don't know what you think will happen if he ends up where I am, dinosaurs or no.

Comments

[sothis_falling]

I don't know how to make you believe that you're wrong. Other then the fact that I wasn't the one who wanted to call it off just because we fought.

[prophetic_name]

You know exactly how to prove me wrong. You just refuse to.

[sothis_falling]

I wasn't the one who broke up with me the first time I was an ass. If I give into this then what's to say you care enough about us to not break things off then next time I do something you don't like?

For fuck's Remus, did you even care at all? Or was I the only one invested in this?

[prophetic_name]

You honestly think this is the first time you've been an ass to me?

And this is what you call being invested? You're the one who didn't care!

[sothis_falling]

Yes! I've been on best behavior since we started this.

Bullshit Remus. I fucking love you. Have you any idea how bloody terrifying that is to someone like me; even without you bloody abandoning thing as soon as you don't like what I'm doing.

[prophetic_name]

[Remus rubs the bridge of his nose like that might possibly fend off the headache this whole mess is giving him.]

Look, Sirius, if you're just going to keep saying the same things you said last time, then there's no point even having this conversation. You're a prat, Sirius, and you always have been. And if you think this is the first time you've been a prat to me, you're deluding yourself. Only I usually don't mind. Because I love you. You genuinely upset me, Sirius, and instead of apologizing, you've tried to blame me for that. I have feelings, and I won't apologize for that. You want to disregard them completely, and I cannot be with someone who will do that, no matter how much I love them. That does not make me a woman; it makes me a human being. If you want to be with a woman, then be with a woman. There are dozens here who would be more than happy to let Sirius Black walk all over them. I am not one of them.

If you want to be with me, then stop doing the one thing you do that hurts me, Sirius. It's as simple as that.

But if a bloody stupid nickname is more important to you than I am, that says everything I need to know about this relationship. You can say you love me all you want, but if you won't actually do anything about it, then it's just bullshit. It's just words.

So if the next words out of your mouth aren't, "I'm sorry, Remus, and I'll stop calling you a woman," I don't want to hear it.

[sothis_falling]

And if I do would you stop breaking it off at the first chance you get?

[prophetic_name]

Believe me, this is not the first chance I've had.

[sothis_falling]

Is that so?

[Remus is not helping his 'I love you but you're an ass' case.]

[prophetic_name]

If I'd broken it off the first chance I'd got, we'd not have lasted a week, Sirius.

[He shrugs, hands tucked into his pockets.] But I love you, so I didn't leave. You mean more to me than that.

[sothis_falling]

Aren't you a saint. And what happens the next time I do something you don't like.

[prophetic_name]

No, I'm not a saint. I'm just in love.

And you still aren't listening to me. You do things I don't like all the time, and I just let them slide. Because none of that matters in the face of how I feel about you.

But the first time something does matter to me, you treat me like shite for daring to be upset about it. You tell me it doesn't matter, which just tells me that you think what I feel doesn't matter.

[sothis_falling]

Well fine then, I'm sorry.

[prophetic_name]

[He sighs and rubs his nose.] Are you really? Or do you just not want to fight anymore?

[sothis_falling]

Clearly I'm wrong entirely. So yeah.

[prophetic_name]

I didn't say that, but I have a hard time believing you've changed your mind that suddenly.

[sothis_falling]

Yes, I'm sorry.

[He just doesn't care anymore.]

[prophetic_name]

[And Remus doesn't believe he's actually sorry, but he misses Sirius enough not to want to push that issue.]

And will you stop calling me a woman?

[sothis_falling]

Fine.

[prophetic_name]

[Okay, now he's annoyed again.]

Are you going to keep being angry with me for having feelings?

[sothis_falling]

It's hardly for having feelings.

[prophetic_name]

Then what? For expressing them?

[sothis_falling]

No.

[prophetic_name]

Then why are you angry?

[sothis_falling]

You don't trust me properly.

[prophetic_name]

What? Why would you say that?

[sothis_falling]

You know why.

[prophetic_name]

If I knew why, I wouldn't be asking.

[sothis_falling]

[He clenches his jaw.]

Think real hard.

[prophetic_name]

Because it's too much to ask that you just tell me what you're thinking? I'm not a legilimens, Sirius.

[sothis_falling]

Of course, I'm the ruddy bastard again. Do you even slightly think of me as a decent bloke anymore or am I just a bastard who's decent in the sack?

[prophetic_name]

Of course I do!

Just...I don't know what you're thinking, and I don't understand why you won't tell me.

[sothis_falling]

Seeing as you seem to keep casting me as the horrible bastard no matter what I do, I don't see why you would want to try.

[prophetic_name]

Want to try what?

Sirius, I have no idea what you're talking about. I...want to fix things between us, but I can't if I don't know what you want or what's upsetting you.

So stop pouting and tell me.

[sothis_falling]

You're not listening. To me or to yourself. You've said numerous times that I'm a real bastard and you were so damn quick to call it off. That's clearly showing neither trust nor, as you put it, 'That I have feelings too.'

[prophetic_name]

I haven't said you're a bastard! I've said you were being a prat because you were, and I only called it off because you weren't willing to give me anything at all. So if I don't trust you on that front, it's because you gave me reason not to.

Am I meant to stay with you forever simply because I'm worried about hurting you? I need a better reason than that.