Handsome Jack (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
butt_stallion_says_hello) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2012-10-01 02:54 am
butt_stallion_says_hello) wrote in dear_mun2012-10-01 02:54 am
Entry tags:
Voice Test - Heading to Amatomnes - canon is Borderlands 2
Wow, really? This is what I get to look forward to? God, you know, they just really don't emphasize how bad rock bottom is. This sounds like a bad comedy act. The amazing Handsome Jack and his bumbling lackey, Fatso! The least, the LEAST, you could do is be a fatso born into money or something. This right here? It's Hell. See, Hell isn't other people, it's you. You and your big ol ham hands, with those typo prone bratwursts you call fingers.
Alright, keep pounding away there, kiddo. Let's talk us some business. Here's what's going to happen. This whole sex island thing? You're gonna go right on ahead with that sumbitch. It'll be great, a blast, and best of all, it'll give me a chance to start getting things ready. ...What? Oh man, you didn't...you didn't actually think I was just gonna plow me some babes spanning the spectrum of tits for giggles, did you? Aw, you know, that is almost precious. Go ahead and give yourself a little cheek pinch for being so adorable. Pathetic, but adorable.
But mostly pathetic.
No, see, we both know who I am. And if you think for even one second that I just can't bend the rules to life and death like I bent the rules to everything else? Well then I bet you're the kind of guy who just doesn't get the difference between choking and strangulation. Are you following me here? Don't tell me, you're gonna need this all in single syllables. No wait, better idea! Let me just fetch someone that speaks fluent pig for you, chubs.
...The hell are you waiting on!? Get to work already!
Oh, and actually? It was all pathetic. I can't help it, I just can't lie to that porky little face of yours. Buh bye now.
Alright, keep pounding away there, kiddo. Let's talk us some business. Here's what's going to happen. This whole sex island thing? You're gonna go right on ahead with that sumbitch. It'll be great, a blast, and best of all, it'll give me a chance to start getting things ready. ...What? Oh man, you didn't...you didn't actually think I was just gonna plow me some babes spanning the spectrum of tits for giggles, did you? Aw, you know, that is almost precious. Go ahead and give yourself a little cheek pinch for being so adorable. Pathetic, but adorable.
But mostly pathetic.
No, see, we both know who I am. And if you think for even one second that I just can't bend the rules to life and death like I bent the rules to everything else? Well then I bet you're the kind of guy who just doesn't get the difference between choking and strangulation. Are you following me here? Don't tell me, you're gonna need this all in single syllables. No wait, better idea! Let me just fetch someone that speaks fluent pig for you, chubs.
...The hell are you waiting on!? Get to work already!
Oh, and actually? It was all pathetic. I can't help it, I just can't lie to that porky little face of yours. Buh bye now.