castiel why don't you understand my childish sense of humor

[angelofheadtilt]

Several hours ago I would have said I don't understand the purpose of this charade, but it's now clear that there isn't one. The longer you look at animated images of me eating raw meat, the less inclined I am to take you seriously. However, I have to ask why you consider that period of my existence to be so humorous. I found it incredibly unpleasant.

Comments

[antagonises]

Well then you've got something in common. You should be happy.

[angelofheadtilt]

Purposelessness?

[antagonises]

That and being unpleasant.

[angelofheadtilt]

I think I should take that as a compliment.

[antagonises]

Well, it certainly makes it interesting. Not exactly liked, though.

[delightme]

Should I even ask?

[angelofheadtilt]

Famine.

[ This explains everything right. ]

[tyingshoes]

Raw meat? What, steak tartare?

[angelofheadtilt]

No. Raw.

[tyingshoes]

Steak tartare is raw. Beef, usually. Sometimes they use horse, I think. I don't know, never really cared to have horse before.

[angelofheadtilt]

That isn't what I meant. Raw and entirely unprepared. And it wasn't horse.

[tyingshoes]

Peaches are peaches and raw is raw; just because someone's put it all pretty on a platter like a line of chorus girls doesn't mean it's not the same.

[angelofheadtilt]

If you would prefer to call it steak tartare, I have no reason to stop you.

[growstrangelydim]

Raw meat is terribly bad for your digestion. At least put it in a pot with some water and pretend to cook it, you lazy fuck.

[angelofheadtilt]

I don't digest.

[growstrangelydim]

You know what else doesn't digest? Corn.

I'm not going to eat you, though, so your disclaimer of being indigestible is unnecessary. Appreciated, however.

[angelofheadtilt]

You're trying to be funny.

[growstrangelydim]

Yeah? You're trying too hard to play dumbass in the hope that your mun'll ignore you after this.

[angelofheadtilt]

It's a method more likely to succeed than protesting her initial interest. That seems to backfire.

[growstrangelydim]

That's your appeal, though, being unable to comprehend basic shit like grunge music or workings of a toaster oven.

Kind of the same with wizards, maybe. The Harry Potter kids.

[angelofheadtilt]

Are you suggesting that I do the opposite and act as though I understand the various things that humans do in order to encourage her to move on to someone else?

[growstrangelydim]

Why would I want her to move onto someone else?

Do you think you can trick your mundane, really? They're kind of writing you. It'd be like...I don't know, telling God to his face you didn't steal the cookie when you've got the crumbs all over your shirt.

[angelofheadtilt]

[ Good job John, you've used a metaphor that actually works on this one. He seems to consider it for a moment. ]

Resistance is futile.

[curseyou]

Wait. Why were they watching?

[angelofheadtilt]

I don't know. Perhaps she gains a sense of power from observing others' discomfort.

Although that wouldn't explain why she considers it funny.

[curseyou]

Is she kinda mean? Because that tends to happen, I've noticed, with the mean ones.

[angelofheadtilt]

. . .

Yes.

[resolvere]

[Well someone smells celestial.

...and also kind of BO-y.

But oh no! Raw meat? Sounds terrible. Here, Castiel, have ten plates of cherry cakes because gods have astral pouches kept in Hammerspace and she has a lot of food to share.

See it? Eat it. Receive a pat on the head. Be a good boy.]

[angelofheadtilt]

[ Wow those are so small and delicate. And numerous. He stares at them for a while because wow, someone must have taken a lot of time to make all these little cherry-smelling things. ]

[ He doesn't want to eat them, though, that was a one-time deal! So he just looks confused. ]

[resolvere]

[Eat them.

Eat them, Castiel.

You have a mouth and have a digestion system. You can eat things. They come out the other end! Amaterasu knows, okay, she kind of created everything.

Wow, why are you so difficult? Look, she's nosing one closer.]

[angelofheadtilt]

[ This is a really pushy dog god. OKAY FINE HE'LL EAT ONE. ]

[ ............................. ]

[ wow fuck you Ammy these are delicious. ]

[resolvere]

[OH MY SELF SHE IS A WOLF SIR DON'T YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

Yes good eat them all. They are kind of small but delicious and will give you stamina! If you die for real, they'll bring you back!

Wunderbar! Now she collects praise. Or, you know, actually talks in her god-in-the-head-because-you's-an-angel way. No big deal, right?

You should really eat them all.]

[angelofheadtilt]

[ No big deal........... although he's kind of wondering if she's EVIL!! ]

[ Probably not though, since upon eating another he finds that they are all incredibly delicious. ]

[ Why did you make all of these for me? [

[debarge]

What's with all the Rhianna? You like her? She's very attractive.

[angelofheadtilt]

Who?

[debarge]

Your keywords. The words by your icons? They're from a Rhianna song. She's a singer, you know, with a fabulous body.

But not fabulous enough, I guess, because this guy named Chris Brown beat her up. That was pretty sad.

[angelofheadtilt]

What does the fabulousness of her body have to do with her experiencing domestic abuse?

[debarge]

Well...if I had a woman like Rhianna, I'd be less inclined to beat her.

[Ethan, that sounds terrible.]

Not that I'd beat—anyone. Or anything. But it's kind of...wow. Sad. If you've got the face of an angel and the body of a goddess, and you're still getting beat? All those regular women must feel pretty shitty.

[angelofheadtilt]

Your morality is contingent on the attractiveness of your partner.

[ Judgmental Angel Stare(TM). ]

[debarge]

That is a really heavy assumption to make. It's also false. False in the way that's it not true.

It's actually untrue. Don't be rude, dude.

[angelofheadtilt]

Perhaps you should be more clear.

wow i'm really sorry; i rng'd this to pick who to tag with

[untilmydarknessgoes]

You sure she finds it funny? It might be turning her on. Which admittedly is disgusting, but hey. I'm not here to judge.

you are incredibly hideous

[angelofheadtilt]

I have very little experience, but I don't believe most people laugh while aroused.

[ Castiel you know nothing. ]

perfect* fixed it for you

[untilmydarknessgoes]

Then you're clearly not doing it right.

[betterthisway]

....

Please accept this sandwich as an offer of solidarity.

[angelofheadtilt]

. . . Thank you.

[ This seems to be the only appropriate response. He turns the sandwich from side to side, inspecting it. ]