i'm just over here doing stuff. canon is Supernova MV by Oomph!

[fromwhereiend]

Mason Dart, that's my name. God's honest truth, really! It's not like I'm some mass-produced meat flab or anything with a serial number.

You don't need to know if I have a serial number. That's private stuff.

You don't know, what if it's tattooed on my nads or something? You don't need to see that. Or know.



Yep. Mason Dart, that's me. Shut up, it sounds like a fine name. What do you know? I'm from like, 60-something years in the future. If pop stars can name their kids "Apple" then my last name could be Dart.

Yeah, what do you know anyway?

Comments

[scurvyprotest]

Yeah, uh...they actually know a shitton.

At least they have some sense and shit.

Sometimes.

I mean, mine did this thing with a pack of gum from fucking Hell or something, but that's another thing.

[fromwhereiend]

Fuck man, gum?

[Slow fourth-wall breaking sideglance.]

Naw, I'm pretty sure I've got this guy on his toes. He won't know what's where and where's what.

[scurvyprotest]

Gum. Fucking Big Red.

[What, Mason? What? You want some of this? Do you? I am a writer, I can DO THINGS to you, I hope you know. Have some respect.]

...You say that now, and then watch - we'll wind up having sex in a closet with giant hands or something.

[fromwhereiend]

Crap, I bet things got spicy.

[You're damn right they did Mason, you're damn right. And you best not be issuing challenges. He can fight. For his right. To not give a fuck.]

Please, that's like all my nightmares comBINED.

No offense on you though man, you're not bad.

[scurvyprotest]

Downright flaming.

[Sure you can, Mason. Sure you can.

Aaron shrugs a little.]

Nah, it's cool, I get it.

...

You're not bad either, though, not gonna lie. I would totally be down if you were.

[fromwhereiend]

Well, you know, I dunno. What if that's playing into what they want, y'know. All that PWP stuff? What if that's us in the near future?

[You don't own him. >C]

Nothing wrong with a fling but sometimes a guy's gotta stop and smell the roses. Or something. Preferably in a place that actually has clean air, because please, that apocalypse-ready planet is no place to stop and smell ANYTHING.

[scurvyprotest]

Fuck, man, I don't really care at this point. Getting laid is getting laid. Doesn't hurt the cause or anything.

[I know I don't. I know. But I know THINGS.]

I know what you mean. Absolution is absolute-LY fucking insane.

[notjustinthemirror]

What good would a serial number do if no one can see it.

[fromwhereiend]

Sometimes big time evil corporations don't need to flaunt it, they just need to know that they've marked their merch.

Plus, then they can play like all the test-tube meatbags like me are just real deal meat and taco offspring like the rest of 'em. If no one can see the brand.

[notjustinthemirror]

Meat and taco offspring. Because ... that's certainly a thing that exists.

[He has no idea what's going on. Or what Mason is talking about. CAN HE GO BACK TO TORMENTING PEOPLE WITH ALCOHOL NOW.]

So can we return you and get a refund if we don't like it?

[fromwhereiend]

Meat and taco, you know. The traditional way. When people get down to tango in a horizontal manner and babies come out.

[Does even Mason know what he's implying? Yes, probably, because it takes some awareness to not care about the word choice he's using. YOU COULD ALWAYS ASK HIM TO IMBIBE.]

Yeah, pretty much. Man, I don't even know what they do with the defective ones. Guess I don't wanna find out either.

[notjustinthemirror]

....

That's the dumbest euphemism for sex I've ever heard.

[He needs to facepalm but MASK. He can't even rub his eyes and look frustrated.]

Well lets get you back to the factory and find out.