dear_mun | Muns and mothers

Another one of...who? You seem quite unhappy.

My mother.

It's a long story.

Ah, I see.

I take it that you do not get along well with your mother.

Well, she's only tried to kill me on multiple occasions.

Another who?

There are a lot of multiples around here, right?

[Lars baby no don't you realize how weird this is for her?]

[...
......
...........oh.

Oh no.]

Another... she was... it was.

It was.

After --

[She can't say it, okay? Her throat's gone all tight and oh god it hurts.]

It doesn't matter.

[She tries to smile. It doesn't work.]

[Lars may not be a Spark but he can see that something is very much not okay.]

Agatha... are you ok? What's wrong?

[He very hesitantly reaches out for her shoulders]

It looks like it matters a lot.

[It does matter. It matters so much. And she's trying not to cry but he looks so worried. And he's touching her like he wants to hug her, and she wants to so much it hurts -- but there's no way she'll be able to hold it together if that happens, so she shrinks away.]

I -- I can't tell you, Lars.

I'm sorry.

[Aaaand cue the waterworks.]

[Well he'd certainly like to know why his favorite lady is so very upset... but he isn't about to invade her privacy either.

He doesn't know what to do with her pulling away from him. He doesn't know what to do with her crying if he can't hold her. He doesn't even know how they got to this point! What did he do wrong?]

Agatha...

[He reaches out for her again, but doesn't touch her.]

[She can't tell him that she's crying because she watched him die -- and not because of temporal paradoxes -- because suddenly everything she's forced down the last few days is bubbling back up and she can't breathe or see and her chest aches and her throat is raw, and she doesn't even try to stop herself from stepping into his open arms and burying her face in his shoulder.

She's sorry, Lars.

She's so, so sorry.]

[He doesn't know what's going on in her head and he doesn't know what he said or did or interrupted. Does this have anything to do with the 'her' she mentioned earlier? So many questions.

But now was not the time for them.

He didn't even hesitate when she flew into his arms. He enfolded her and supported her, surrounding her with pressure so that she won't fall apart.

It's ok, Agatha. You have nothing to apologize for.]

[But she does, so much, and he doesn't know. Can't know. Even when she's sobbing horribly into his shoulder and he's holding her like nothing's wrong. They shouldn't even be here, and she knows that whatever this place is, it's not real, but she can't sleepwalk her way out of it and she doesn't want to.

She finally manages to stop crying so much and get her breath, but she can't make herself lift her head again. She can't look at his eyes.]

...I've missed you.

[You know he couldn't blame you for anything, Agatha. Especially not for something that isn't really your fault at all. Though it's true they maybe shouldn't be there, him especially, he would never hold a grudge against her for anything. He chose his fate, or his heart chose it for him, and that has always been true and he wasn't about to start regretting that.

He must have known somewhere in the back of his mind that she couldn't stay with them forever, that he couldn't stay with her forever. He was an actor, that's all he knew, that's all he ever wanted to know, and she was a Heterodyne. She had a much grander destiny to fulfill. So it wasn't a big surprise that she left at some point. That this Agatha he held in his arms is not the same Agatha as the one he acted with on stage the night before. Still, a sharp pang entered his heart as she said that she missed him. Is that what this is about? Did she really miss him that much?

He leaned his cheek on her head.]

I'm here now.

[She's shakily trying to regain herself when he says that, and she starts crying in earnest again. There are a dozen different things running through her head that she could say if she could speak, and she can't leave him in the dark but she has to, and it never would have worked out but she loved him, loves him, and then he was gone and she was running and she still hadn't stopped, and he was here and so earnest and she'd sobbed herself dry on a chest that shouldn't have been whole.

Why couldn't she have saved him?]

You can't be...

[Every time he talks he just makes it worse! He thought that would be comforting! What is he doing wrong? Why is he still going to keep taking?!]

But I am here. Can and can't doesn't seem to matter in this place.

[This can't just be their separation. Something must have happened. Something really bad. A sick feeling started in his chest and settled into his gut.]

What happened?

[The knot in her chest tightens when he asks that, and she feels sick and dizzy all of a sudden. Lars, you lovely man...]

Lars, you...

[She finally meets his eyes and almost loses her nerve at the worry shining there. She's crying again and half-incoherent and she has to force herself to say it. To tell the truth.

For his sake.]

...you died.

[He gets dizzy has her eyes meet his and everything else goes out of focus. He knows what she's going to say before it comes out, but it still takes extra time to process. There's a pause.

And then the world drops out beneath him. His vision prickles to dark and he almost loses consciousness. Death? Him? Die?

Lars had always counted himself as invincible. He'd felt that way since he found his calling on the stage, and that teenage sense of invulnerability cracked only during his occasional panic attacks. He would live forever, be forever young, romance all the ladies, act in every city in the world and then do it all again.]

Me? Dead????

[He loses his grip on Agatha and sinks down to the ground, feeling numb and unable to control his limbs. He covers his head with his hands and does his best to breathe.]

DEAD?

Lars!

[No no no no EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE FOREVER AND EVERYTHING HURTS. She drops to her knees and -- she doesn't know what to do, and settles for leaning close and trying in her blurry-eyed desperation to get her arms around him.]

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryIloveyouI'msorrytherewasnothingIcoulddo and you
and you
I'msorry

[Just popcorn.gif-ing the dickens out of this thread, don't mind him]

[MAXIM...]

[What?]

[Oh right, private times.]

[He just has to be sneakier about keeping an eye on them.]

[Behind a tree is sneaky, right?]

[You're so lucky she's too upset to care.

And... maybe she doesn't entirely want you to go away? After all, she knows where your hat went.]

Muns and mothers

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AHAHAHAHA

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oh no right in the feels

oh no not the feels

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY

8) not sorry

you're the worst

:3

i'll never be happy again

your pain is my lifeblood

oh god oh god oh god

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