... /headdesk oh god why

[jailbreaker]

Yelling at me? Yeah. That's not making me leave any faster.

And stop giving me that look. This was your idea. Not mine. They left me out of this whole mess after the last one. I'm perfectly happy staying in that plot hole, thank you very much.

Tch.

Comments

[f_u_wesker]

I'd be glad if I were in your shoes right now. You'd be pretty pissed off in this new movie, all things considered.

[jailbreaker]

So I figured. [Hey, Alice. Chris folds his arms and frowns.] I'm mostly just wondering how Mr. Wesker survived having half his head blown off. Think I liked him better when he was dead.

[f_u_wesker]

Let's not forget the bomb in his face when he tried to escape Arcadia.

[There's no killing him for good. Not easily.]

I ran into a different version of Jill here. She suggested we shove him into a volcano.

[jailbreaker]

He's one stubborn son-of-a-bitch, that's for sure.

[Can't really blame a guy (or two or three) for trying, can you?]

Jill? You mean the blonde woman who attacked the Arcadia? [No me gusta.] ...Volcano might work. Maybe add a bomb for good measure.

[f_u_wesker]

Persistent is more like. And he's almost claiming to have turned over a new leaf. I could laugh but the situation is too bleak.

[No, she can't. She really can't.]

Yeah, her but... not, at the same time. She didn't even know me, like she was an entirely different Jill. I did run into our Jill though, too. She might join me in Exsilium.

You know, a bomb or two would really make it satisfying.

[jailbreaker]

After what we saw? I doubt that. He's probably just got some new scheme brewing for when we finally win this thing.

[Chris frowns thoughtfully, crossing his arms.]

You know, I can believe that. Place like this, who knows how many different versions of us are running around? Maybe that Jill's managed to pull off what we couldn't.

[He smirks.] Maybe a nuke, too. Let him have a taste of what his company did to Raccoon City.

[convoy_leader]

You're not the only one.

She hasn't seen the new movie yet but from the information she's been given...

[jailbreaker]

[Precious little sister. Chris smiles fondly and puts a hand on Claire's head.]

Turns out? Bad guy eats bullets for lunch. Sorry, Claire. Guess we screwed that one up. [Hair-ruffle is a go!]

[convoy_leader]

He's like a friggin cockroach, apparently.

At least we got left out of it this time.

[jailbreaker]

Please tell me it's going to stick next time. That guy is a creep.

Yeah, but being written out as "uh, uh, they're locked away"? That part sucks.

[convoy_leader]

Would you rather have been involved in the storyline?

Besides, around here, we can come from any point in time. What grates on my mundane's nerves is the lack of coherent background for anyone in the series.

[jailbreaker]

And gotten my head chewed off by that... whatever that thing was? Pass.

Yeah, it's kind of weird. And it makes it pretty jarring if those writer clowns make references to it. [He makes a face.] Like how that Wesker guy knew who we were. That was seriously creepy.

[convoy_leader]

That was pretty creepy, although in my case it could have been explained by my interactions with Alice previously.

You though... Sometimes I wonder if they even stop to think before they write this stuff.

[jailbreaker]

Which probably means he was spying on us. Somehow, that just makes it worse.

...Sometimes I wonder if they even have a writing staff and it's not just one guy with way too much time and Red Bull.

[convoy_leader]

[...Twitch]

...I would not be surprised.

This is why mine likes AU so much.

[jailbreaker]

Guy's a control freak. -Actually, scratch that. He's just a freak.

Yeah. [All the awkward.] ...Still. I'm glad to see you're doing okay, Claire.

[convoy_leader]

Your mun or Wesker?

...Yeah, you too...

[jailbreaker]

Wesker. The mun's just weird. Keeps rolling her eyes at me.

[You want a big brother hug? Well, too bad! You're getting one anyway. dwi.]

[convoy_leader]

Rolling her eyes is preferable to where mine has tossed me recently.

[ Awkward hug back.]

[jailbreaker]

Let me guess. Zombie apocalypse?

[convoy_leader]

...That would be normal.

The sex hotel though....

[jailbreaker]

[Whut.]

...I don't even want to know.

[prefersleatherjackets]

How is that little plot hole serving you?

[ Hey, at least you showed up before him. Seriously.]

[jailbreaker]

Beats the alternatives.

[dude. You were doing work for Wesker. WTF is that about?]

[prefersleatherjackets]

You'd rather be locked up in some random Umbrella compound rather then actually doing something? Right.

[ He does'nt work for Wesker. He works for the president. Who just happens to be Wesker.Hey, he's not all thrilled about it as well.]

[jailbreaker]

I'd rather be out there fighting the good fight, but considering what being in this last one would have entailed, I'll take the alternative.

[Yeah, well, your president is a bastard who tried to kill Chris and Claire. Whoever elected that guy had a few screws loose.]

[prefersleatherjackets]

I'd like to think the mission went well. Well, not well. But passable. If you had been with Alice, Ada would have gotten you out as well.

[ Hey, hey, that was so not his choice. And he was'nt President then.]

[jailbreaker]

...You lost half of your team.

[Says the guy who got framed by his for murder.]

[prefersleatherjackets]

But we made it out with the target. And were'nt trapped under ice.

[ Yeah. How did you get locked in that cell?]

[weaponmadeperfect]

Hey mun and I are glad that I was left out of all of it. [Hey Chris, meet the kid movie!claire didn't save all growed up!]

And God! really has the script writer EVER look at the source material? [So hoping they're not trying to turn her into Alice in the series because that would totally piss off this little B.O.W.]

[alive_and_kicking]

Be glad. It sure as hell better than winding up where the rest of us did.