screencap says natasha worked for hammer WHAT

[therealgenius]

[this is brand new information]

You know, I would get huffy and talk about how I do better background checks than that, but...I can't be bothered.

Can we just say SHIELD forged that? I'd totally remember if she had been in my buildings before. Pretty memorable. The hair, the body, the...no, I'm stopping now.

Comments

[therealgenius]

I don't hire good-looking people all that much. Yes, I think I'd notice.

[widows]

The brute strength. [ what up fragile little china doll. ]

[therealgenius]

No. I just built a company from nothing and keep my name on the side of the building for shits and giggles. I don't actually do anything at all. It's like a micronation at this point, and I just pay the bills.

[SOME PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THEIR REPUTATION OKAY]

1/2

[therealgenius]

[WAIT WHAT]

[therealgenius]

That...was actually the exact thing I was going to say. But, see, if I say that, then I start getting into muscular structure, which is insulting to a woman. So. I just said no more. I stopped because that's...

...putting my foot in my mouth.

[widows]

Right. And you were going to call Pepper and I respectable gentlewomen before you went with "bitches."

[therealgenius]

[Yeah, twenty years too late. Zing!]

I have people who head various departments; it's not like I'm the one going over applications and doing the interviews. Still, I'm 100% that if anyone who liked like her was qualified enough to be hired on with the company, it would have been brought to my attention the moment it was a done deal.

[therealgenius]

Wow, really? Two years later you still remember that? Should I feel complimented that I left an impression at all, bad or no? Is it a great honor?

[therealgenius]

[He cared that he got to build cool shit, get laid, and be the center of attention. Justin sees right through that, sir.]

Yes, really. Latin? Latin. It's a dead language; you don't speak it. She? Does. Apparently. I think that would be brought to my attention in the most genteel of manners, yes.

And she's also a very beautiful woman. Maybe. To some people, I imagine.

[widows]

[ wow, really, you just wow, really'd her? who's the one squinting at screencaps two years after the fact here? ]

I don't know, ask the table you left an impression of your face on.

[therealgenius]

[...not killing your own people because corrupt employees?????]

I don't have very beautiful employees. They're a distraction. They distract the other employees, and then you're getting complaints about Ronald catcalling Sarah in the HR department and you're having to call Ronald into a very important meeting. Or vice versa.

[therealgenius]

[IT WAS ONLY ON SCREEN FOR HALF A SECOND SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH]

Is that a Russian thing? Is the word "bitch" some sort of terrible taboo over there like it's not over here? Should I have pulled out the kiddie gloves for you? Because, let's be honest, you certainly didn't do that for me.

[justin did you hear what you just said]

...you could have just. I don't know. You broke my glasses. Do you know how terrifying that was?

[therealgenius]

[Excuse you, Justin's the perfect government bitch boy...there was a senator involved and everything! It's all about patriotism! PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM FUCK YEAH]

I'm so sorry that the measures I take to make sure my name doesn't get dragged through manure again serve to make your dick cry. Really. I'm the picture of apologetic right now.

[therealgenius]

[YOU SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH TOO]

I didn't realize your soul was as deep as a kiddie pool. Nice to know!

[therealgenius]

[Don't make him put a Captain America sock in it!]

And this right here is why you had the problems you did. I'd say something about irresponsibility, but that's such a cliche with you at this point that I assume it wouldn't do anything.

[therealgenius]

[brb - getting a taser]

Good, because I wasn't going for humor.

[therealgenius]

[Bitch please, without your suit, what are you? Billionaire, philanthropist, genius, playboy. Let's define them, okay?

Billionaire - you have a lot of money
Philanthropist - you have a lot of money, so you give it away to charity because wtf are you going to do with all of it?
Genius - we know, we know. Also, fuck you.
Playboy - how is this bragging rights? How? HOW?

Yours affectionately,
Justin Hammer, CEO Hammer Industries]

I'm sorry, am I just supposed to let you say the way I run my company makes you cry big fat tears and...what? Take it? Lay back and take it? I don't know if you know this or not, so let me inform you really simply: repeatedly telling human beings that the way they function is depressing to you isn't actually a good thing to do! And now I'm the dick? What the hell kind of logic is that?

[manofiron]

You know, I'm starting to see why she hit you.

[therealgenius]

Because you've totally never called a woman a bitch in a time of great stress, right? God, it really is just me!

[manofiron]

No, I've called a woman a bitch before. It's not just you.

[therealgenius]

[Billionaire - OH GOODIE THREATS SO SOON!
Philanthropist - KEEP THEM COMING
Genius - big boys don't cry, Anthony!
Playboy - Let's see—money, money, brain, dick. How's that shallow soul doing?

Cordially,
Justin Hammer, CEO Hammer Industries

PS: Like that "incident" near where you held, right? Awesome. Please go murder some terrorists in my name!]

So now, taking pride in something makes me uptight? You think that my taking pride in something makes me stuffy and repressed. That's not insulting either, is it? First, I depress you; then, my having a sense of pride in something I built on my own makes me uptight. Please, do continue. Tell me more.

[therealgenius]

All right, I'll bite: what about this makes you think I deserved to have my face crushed against a desk?

[manofiron]

I said hit you. Not crush your face against a desk. There's a difference.

[therealgenius]

All right, I'll rephrase: what about this makes you think I deserve to be hit?

[therealgenius]

[Turnabout's totally fair play. And we all know how Justin is about fair, right?]

No, actually; I'm trying to figure out just how socially inept you actually are.