probably going to havenrpg

[overdosing]

I am beginning to notice a trend with the potential homes you are eying up for me, mundane. Ja, eying - like a wide-eyed, greedy little child who has been let loose inside a süßwarengeschäft. I have seen that look many times before with Heavy right before he shoves some innocent chocolate bar or some such other sweet down his throat. Don't think for one second that I can't see it in your eyes.

Abduction, conspiracy, the threat of senseless brutality and torture... Ja, it sounds like a charming little retreat away from home, but you have yet to address one very vital issue: why must I be without my equipment? And, more importantly...

Why can't I take Archimedes?

Comments

[hasstandards]

Because mundanes like to watch us squirm.

[overdosing]

And I like to dissect men. Ironic how only one of us seems to have any self control.

[hasstandards]

That's how they are, Doc. No sense in a one of 'em. I can tell you that much from dealin' with mine.

[overdosing]

Yes, but you are...

[he gestures helplessly, frowning.]

...Nice. If anyone would have any luck with convincing their mundane to treat them respectfully, you and Engineer seem like you would have the best luck.

[hasstandards]

... Me. Nice.

[This might be the first time he's ever had a Medic tell him that. Or probably anyone other than Pyro.]

[overdosing]

[god what a gross word. he's going to have to wash his mouth out later.]

Ja, ja! I never said it was often!

[hasstandards]

Right. I think the word you're lookin' for is polite. Or professional.

[Nice. Really, Medic.]

[overdosing]

The level of your professionalism varies between when you are and aren't flinging your rancid jars of urine at our opponents.

You have - ah, how does that saying go? Oh, yes: hit rock bottom.

[hasstandards]

Hey, that's Jarate. It's an art.

[overdosing]

It is horrible. You are horrible.

Polite, but horrible.

[hasstandards]

It has its purpose, and it gets the job done. S'more of a threat than that gun full of needles that you carry.

[overdosing]

Funny, our mutual friend the BLU Spy said something like that once, too.

I wonder if he still feels the same after he lost both eyes.

[hasstandards]

Maybe if he'd had a good pair of glasses, he'd still have them.

[overdosing]

Stupidity is terminal; it is impossible to cure, even with the right equipment.

Believe me, I've tried. On him, actually. [that part of the brain doesn't take kindly to being cut out, he's discovered.]

[hasstandards]

[He shudders at that, unsettled by the thought.]

And you think what I do is horrible. At least he deserved it, bein' a spook and all.

[overdosing]

Again, you throw - and possibly roll in - your own waste. I look to advance the human condition. At least make a fair comparison.

[hasstandards]

I do not roll in my own filth like some kinda animal, you know.

[overdosing]

And how do we know that for sure? You are always locked away in that wagon of yours. Always dark, always foul smelling even from several feet away...

I would not be surprised if the floor inside was lined with newspapers!

[hasstandards]

I'm a bloody person, not some mongrel!

[overdosing]

It would be easier to make the distinction if you took a bath once in a while!

[hasstandards]

Oh, come on! I'm not that bad!

[overdosing]

Pride will get you nowhere.

[hasstandards]

S'not pride. I shower enough. You can ask anyone.

[overdosing]

Not enough to indicate any permanent change in the rest of your lifestyle, I presume.

[...]

...At least dispose of your waste properly. With all the ways Hale has concocted to siphon our money away from us, surely there is some sort of alternative to your...Jarate. [god even saying it feels filthy, just like "nice".]

[hasstandards]

Oi, Jarate is bloody useful. It's practical for keepin' Spies away.