dear_mun | On life, the universe, and everything

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On life, the universe, and everything

Cute. I know you are fond of that film, but I'm not quite as enamored with it. Or with how every easy it seems to be for you to push me right from where I was into another relationship. Ben is endearing and a kind man, a good friend, but it hasn't been that long since Rick's departure.

...

No I'm not bitter. I just have reservations about this. It was a very new relationship, yes, but I don't think it would be so quick for me to move on. Even if you and Ben's mundane have been teasing our relationship for months.

Maybe I just wanted to say goodbye.

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[To pop in and possibly get punched in the nose or not...

Eh, he can take it.]

... Not only kind, but he can levitate a person. Seen it with my own eyes.

[She knows it wasn't your choice bro. She's not happy, but she doesn't blame you.]

He's oblivious. You aren't. Weren't.

[Sigh.]

I miss you.

... Yeah. Right back at ya'.

[That's one point for the safety of his nose, at least.]

Sorry it had to go that way... I told myself I wouldn't do that to anyone, but I went and fucked that up.

[It's gotta be some of his fault for going for some happiness there. He was being a selfish shit, in his mind.]

It would have been much the same if I had to leave, Rick.

[What is, is. And what is sucks and right after that she'd gotten her ass handed to her by a god and it was just lovely recovering from that as well. She shakes her head and reaches over, squeezing his hand.]

We both knew the risks. Better than just about anyone else in that place, really. It hasn't been easy but I can let it go, on my better days. At least you left your dog tags. If you'd left nothing it would have been worse.

Did I?

[He smiles faintly.]

Good. They're safest in your hands. It's... better than leaving them in the middle of a fucked-up city of rage-filled assholes.

I wear them every day.

[She's tired, and it shows. Tired enough to take that last step forward and rest her forehead against his shoulder.]

For luck. Or sentiment. I swear if she makes me see the movie you're from now that you're gone, I'll hurt her.

And I'll hurt her, too.

[He goes right on ahead and grabs her for a strong hug, leaning his cheek into her hair.]

Just at a distance, like usual.

You want to know what's worse?

[She clings to him without shame. This solidity. This warmth. She's missed it more than she can say.]

A man with your face and your voice. Hawkeye. He is going to arrive in the village in my bed. Where I lost you.

... Seriously? Jesus christ. [the huggings not about to loosen any.] ... They're all fucked up. I'm sorry, Adele.

It isn't your fault Rick.

[Even if it was she'd never blame him.]

She's just a bitch.

Ben?

Why the hell would you even be thinkin' about that with a son of a bitch like him?

Ben. Obi-Wan. I call him Ben.

[The face may be similar but the voice is very, very different. Low. Rough. Accented in French.]

If you knew him, you would not speak of him thusly.

[ She sure doesn't sound like Juliet, doesn't act like her, either. ]

So you ain't Juliet. [ It's very strange, seeing someone who looks just like her. ] Who are ya, then?

No. I am sorry to disappoint you.

[A moment, eyeing this stranger before she shrugs.]

Doctor Adele LeBlanc. And yourself?

[ Juliet's always called him 'James.' It was a little annoying in the beginning, because he'd cultivated the Sawyer image for so long, and hearing his real name from her was a constant reminder that she saw through his defenses, saw things he didn't want people to see.

But that's Juliet. And this isn't Juliet, so: ] Sawyer.

I heard about this kinda thing, just my first time seein' it. You look exactly like her.

...should I call you Tom?

[It was the only Sawyer she knew well. Even if Tom doesn't seem to suit him. Neither does Sawyer. Why that is, she can't say.]

Down to every last scar?

[She's gained a modest handful here and there. Nothing vital, just marks of a life well lived. To make her point she rolls back the sleeve of her shirt and turns her forearm for him to see a small smudge of a burn scar from a roman candle years ago.]

Well, that'd just be too predictable. [ He smirks humorlessly. ] Guess Huck don't suit me, either. [ Still not giving up his real name just yet. ]

I've seen every damn scar, and she don't have that. [ There's that awful scar on her lower back, that brand they gave her because she killed Danny to protect them. Sometimes he strokes it in the dark, after she's fallen asleep, wishing he could take it away. ] How'd you get it?

While American you do not seem quite that much of a...what is the term? Red Neck?

[The vernacular escapes her, but that sounds right. Somewhat.]

...an incident involving a roman candle when I was a child.

[A moment's thought and she unfastens the first button of her blouse, tugging the collar aside to show a more recent scar. A diagonal cut. Clean. Healed over and pink and horribly fresh.]

I doubt she has this one.

[ He chuckles softly. ]

Well, that's the nicest thing anyone's said in a while. [ He pauses, just considering whether he really wants to share such a personal thing with her. She's not Juliet, but she looks like her, and that means something he can't completely articulate. ] James. My name's James.

[ He frowns when he sees the cut; it's not a good thing, no matter what, but she looks so much like the woman he loves that it's even harder to stomach. ]

What happened?

I am afraid to ask what sort of company it is you keep if that is the nicest thing said of you, James.

[It's not the same. It's softer, the vowels extended and the s all but silent. Less 'James' and more 'Jaame'. She can't imagine what it must feel like to hear it in such a way from someone that resembles a person he cares for. It makes her ill thinking of what she'll have to deal with in the future.]

A frightened boy with a knife. I startled him, he lashed out.

Ain't the company, sweetheart. It's just me. [ With Juliet, though, it's easier to concede that he might actually be a person of some worth; she sure as hell believes in him, always, and that means everything. He'd never thought he could actually be a better person before her. ]

It don't look good, though. You have a doctor lookin' after it?

[Normally she'd protest the endearment. She didn't know James well enough to allow it but...these were unusual circumstances. If it mad this conversation easier for him, and so long as he does not call her a certain few loathed petnames, she can and will let it slide.]

Did you miss the part of my introduction where I mentioned that I am a doctor? A surgeon, to be precise. Caring for this is simple enough.

[ He is, unfortunately, quite notorious for assigning multiple nicknames to almost everyone he meets, even the people he doesn't particularly for. But for now, that's all she gets.

He's smirking and shaking his head slightly. ]

I heard ya, but it don't mean much to me. Juliet's a doctor, Jack's a doctor -- hell, they're all just about the worst patients I've ever seen, always lookin' after everyone else first. So I gotta ask. But I'll take your word for it.

I have taken pains to ensure this would heal well. Honestly I had a harder time warning an associate of mine off the boy that struck me.

[She lifts a shoulder and buttons her blouse once more. Now that she's mentioned it, though, the fresh skin itches a little. Merde.]

Well, your associate had a right to be unhappy. Frightened ain't an excuse for that. [ Perhaps he's just more instinctively protective and slightly less forgiving at the moment precisely because of her face. Her eyes. That cut just doesn't belong right there, so close to her heart, marring skin he's kissed so many times. ]

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Sorry, I couldn't resist...

This is not the blonde you are looking for. >.>

It's freaking him out. XD

Poor Sawyer.

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