Loveless #9

[pinned_butterfly]

So. Another volume is in English. If you practiced Japanese more, you wouldn't need it. English manga is no good anyway; it destroys the flow of words.

Not that I would expect you to understand that.

It probably won't last in America. This sort of manga never sells. Practice some kanji and leave me alone.

Comments

[pinned_butterfly]

[The hesitant way with which Ritsuka admits his loneliness breaks his heart. He squeezes Ritsuka tighter.]

I am yours. You must only call me, and I'll always come.

[in_loveless_memory]

[He sighs into the cuddling.]

But... I can't... I can't call you in- [His game. Because Soubi isn't there and that's where he needs him. He looks away. It's not Soubi's fault. It's not anyone's fault. It's simply what the situation is and the situation sucks.]

[pinned_butterfly]

[Soubi knows, he knows. A lump forms in his throat; the idea of Ritsuka alone, unable to call for him when he needs it, defenseless against those who might mean him harm...]

You have me while we're here. I won't let you go.

[in_loveless_memory]

[It...

It doesn't feel like enough. He can only vent about his issues here, he can't... He has Natsuo and Youji but Natsuo's first concern is protecting Youji. Kio tries to defend him but that doesn't do much in really difficult times even though he means well.]

Don't let go, then.

[pinned_butterfly]

[He squeezes him more tightly. Ritsuka's thin shoulders feel so utterly insubstantial.]

Never.

[in_loveless_memory]

Is your mun treating you alright?

[pinned_butterfly]

[He doesn't answer immediately; he's too busy nuzzling against Ritsuka's hair, his delicate neck with its soft skin, feeling those small hands clasped around his back, his Ritsuka, his tiny, beautiful Ritsuka. When he does answer, it's only in a small murmur.]

She's a foolish old lady. She doesn't concern us.

[in_loveless_memory]

[He's blushing deeply but doesn't pull away. He hasn't had this in a long time and it sucks. He misses being held like this, by these arms, by this man. Why must he like Soubi so much?]

Are you alright, at least?

[pinned_butterfly]

Yes.

[His reply is whispered, or more accurately sighed into Ritsuka's shoulders. But then he pulls away and holds Ritsuka almost at arm's length, his eyes searching Ritsuka's face and body.]

Are you well, Ritsuka?

[in_loveless_memory]

I'm... fine.

[He isn't. But he can't burden Soubi. Soubi isn't with him so he doesn't want the other man to worry.]

I'm not hurt and I'm not in any sort of danger that isn't what everyone else suffers from.

[pinned_butterfly]

[Soubi knows perfectly well that Ritsuka is not fine. It's not a Fighter's place to worry over his master when his master has told him there's nothing to worry about: a Sacrifice does the thinking, a Fighter protects him when it's needed. But this isn't just any master. This is Ritsuka. And Soubi is still under orders from Seimei to protect Ritsuka at all costs. His hands grip Ritsuka tighter as he frowns in dismay.]

Are you frightened, then?

[in_loveless_memory]

[He can't take it. He can't take how gentle Soubi is when he knows that Seimei rules in his mind. Seimei says "come" and Soubi obeys no matter how much he claimed to love him, how much to claim he was his fighter. Ritsuka had accepted Soubi as his fighter.

And was abandoned.

Intentional or not Soubi committed what the act he feared to have done for him.]

I'm fine, Soubi. Even if I were, which I'm not, you...