dear_mun | All caught up on Angel and Faith.

Optimism, huh? That's a new look on you.

Call it whatever you want but I'm not letting anything else happen to him. [He's already screwed up his life so much, he refuses to do it again.]

Edited 2012-09-12 02:14 (UTC)

Funny thing about kids. They'll do their own thing. You might not have a say.

I don't think Connor's going to argue with me on this one. Can't think of too many people who want to get crushed by a living, breathing, pissed off Quor'toth.

[Though right now he's more worried about what Willow's going to do than the Quor'toth.]

...I thought Quor'toth was a dimension.

You and me both. I'm thinking the dimension was named after the big, bad, and ugly we've come across.

You get to fight a big, bad, ugly thing? I should have gone with you. That sounds so much more fun than what I've been up to.

Trying to. [Willow going crazy will make or break that fight.] What have you been you been up to?

Oh, you know. On the moon fighting space amphibians. Pretty run of the mill, all things considered

What does it say about us when that's not the strangest thing I've heard recently?

That we lead interesting lives. Magic being gone from the world really hasn't made it any more boring, has it?

In some ways, it apparently has. [Thinks about Willow's plea to him, to help her get her magic back. She asked him if any good books, movies, or otherwise entertaining things had come out since magic had left and he couldn't think of any. It was Willow's belief that hope had been taken from the world.

He would have brushed off her concerns if Connor hadn't told him that he could see the impact as well.]

Not in our circles.

[ wow this is hard. she hasn't exactly spent a lot of time imagining how tough it'd be, but it's a safe bet that even if she had? this would be worse. because angel. and staring him in the face after ... everything. and a whole lot of icky feelings and betrayal and dammit didn't she just punch kennedy over hitting her where it hurt with the giles thing?

yeah. fun. ]

Wow. You really didn't do much easing back in. From closet catatonia to saving the damsel in 60 seconds. I'd say you could market the Angel recovery method, but ... [ getting there is kind of gross and horrible. ]

Buffy...[Seeing her brings back so many emotions and memories. Not that seeing her doesn't normally do, but this time it's different. Her presence intensifies the guilt and shame he's already feeling. Shifts his gaze to the side so he doesn't have to look at her.

And yet, despite the guilt and shame, he can feel other emotions bubble to the surface.The same emotions that got them into so much trouble. Even those emotions are different now. The fragments of Giles ' soul feel more alive than ever. The Watchers emotions at being near his Slayer are kicking in.]

I've got things to do, I'm sure you do too. [Attempts to be dismissive, there are so many things he does not want to get into.]

[ ouch. maybe it's a double-standard, maybe it's unfair for her to wholly and completely not be able to even look at him after what he did, and then for it to hurt this way that he can't look at her either. but unfair or not, it does sting. so much so that she has to take a deep breath and blink quickly, turning her head away. ]

Right. Wheel never stops turning. [ she nods, working through the muck of painful emotions that just being in his presence manages to evoke. but before that -- ] I know. That I can't understand what's going on, or your situation, or who Connor is. But ... But I'm glad you're okay.

[ and, yeah, it hurts that he is. it hurts that he has moved past catatonia and is dealing and apparently back to world-saving while she's getting kicked out by her roommates and losing herself and working for kennedy and hitting new lows she didn't even know there were to hit.

but riley told her once when it was bad like this that the wheel never stops turning and she'll be on top again sooner or later, and she has to hold onto that. working with kennedy, painful though it may have been, helped her get her head back on straight. remember the big picture - the big picture that's her real job. sucking at it bad enough to start the apocalypse with angel once doesn't mean she can't swing back into it again. ]

I mean it. [ she squares her shoulders, straightening. ] So ... So, good luck fighting the bad guys.

[Finds himself wishing she was yelling and screaming at him, rather than wishing him good luck. He can deal with her anger because he expects it, deserves it. Her being kind to him? As badly as he craves it, he hasn't earned it. Not yet. Maybe once he collects the remaining fragments of Giles' soul and brings him back, then he can accept it without feeling guiltier.]

They never will. [Not for someone like him. He's afraid of what will happen if they ever do. Harmony urged him to let go of his past and start over. As appealing as it sounded, he knows it's not for him. He can't let go of it until he's made things right and he has his work cut out for him.]

Thanks. ["I'll need it. We'll all need it." He knows he should turn around and take his leave now. It would be better for the two of them. Nothing good ever happens when the two of them are around each other, no matter how desperately they want something good to come of it. Unfortunately when he picks up on her hurt, he finds his feet locked in place. He can't leave until he knows that she's okay and will continue to be.]

How are you holding up?

[ are they really doing this? they're really doing this. buffy has to overcome the uncanny hurdle of her shock and discomfort that they're trying to have a conversation while carefully avoiding all the reasons they haven't for months. ]

Holding is a strong word. [ she says it with some dryness. ] Managing. I'm managing. [ that might even be too strong of a word. willow's gone. spike's trekking across the galaxy with a crew of giant bugs. dawn and xander are getting on with their lives. buffy's the only one who's stuck. the only thing she's got is that she's still the slayer. at least she has that back. ]

[Angel's plan is to round up some information and then get out of there. The two of them can only keep up this "oblivious" conversation for for so long.]

Good. You'll find a way through it, you always do. [Turns his head to the side, trying to hide the pained expression on his face. It doesn't come from an emotional wound, it comes from physical pain. He can practically hear Giles' voice chiming into his mind and it's getting mixed up his voice and Angelus'.]

I should get going, there's a lot of work to be done.

All caught up on Angel and Faith.

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