dusting off an old favorite

[robinred]

Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but just don't.

With this canon point you've singled out-- this isn't going to work in anyone's favor. You haven't picked me up in well over a year. You forgot about me. . . .That's fine. But don't you think you can just waltz back and take control. It doesn't work that way. 

Comments

[goodsoldier]

Timmy, hate to break it to you, but I think she likes that.

[robinred]

She doesn't. ( She can't. It's not normal. )

[goodsoldier]

No, I think of anybody around here, I know what's most entertaining about you. Though when I say "most entertaining" it's kind of more like "least boring," or like how "best hot dogs in Bludhaven" means "the ones that don't make you shit out both ends." Anyway, here's what makes you fun, for given values of fun: you're hilariously uptight and it's funny to make you do stuff you don't want to.

[robinred]

( He's not uptight. --well, actually. . . there's no argument for that, is there. ) Right. And like I said, I won't entertain her.

[goodsoldier]

[Jason makes this gesture between them, indicating the fact they're conversing.]

So you really enjoy talking to me, right? Good to know, bro. I should've brought over a six pack, maybe stabbed you in the chest for old time's sake.

[robinred]

( Shut up, he wants to say. He wants to scream it. )

It'll be over before we know it.

[goodsoldier]

Ooh, sort of passive-aggressive, there. I'm not even trying yet. I bet you expect me to say something about Bruce or Dick, so let's not go that route. How about... holy shit, that Damien kid. How have you not killed him? I mean besides your fucked up loyalty to the idea that nobody should die under your watch. Hey, remember how much you resented me for beating you half to death? Was that half as bad as what Damien did, and does, to you?

[Jason doesn't think for a second Tim would bond with him over Damien, but wanting to vent about Damien and refusing to on principle is probably frustrating, right?]

[robinred]

( Of course he'd dredge up the demon-spawn. It was the only plausible route to take, if he wasn't going to talk about Bruce or Dick. Likely because the topic was as much a sore spot for Jason as it was for Tim. How wonderful. They're bonding over the Replacement.

To answer the question? Damian could die in a fire. At least it felt like that some times. --and Tim's been in a fire. He's got a cowl now, right? It's for a reason. )

We try to avoid each other. ( No comment. )

[goodsoldier]

[Jason is, due to his canon point, only vaguely aware of what Damien is like, mostly through secondhand information. Half the time he forgets Damien exists.]

Not bad. You know who's next, though, right? Steph. She's pretty cool. We hung out a while back, beat up some assholes. I could get used to having her on my side.

[There is little in his tone of voice to imply he's trying for a jealousy angle. He seems genuinely pleased to talk about her, because if he talks Tim into a coma, that is still a victory.]

At first, of course, I was like "how'd you come back from the dead" and then got all disappointed when it turns out she was never dead, but she's fun. Actual fun, not like you. We're gonna get milkshakes.

[robinred]

( Tim is, all in all, only human. His eyes widen

because Steph is now a weapon against him. And he hates himself for not having anticipated that. He hates himself so much. He hates himself for schooling the shock out of his features. He hates that Jason will probably laugh at him because of it. ) What Stephanie does is not my problem. She's a big girl. She can take care of herself. ( In the loosest meaning of the phrase.

He hates that he sounds so flat. Can he be any more obvious? )

[goodsoldier]

[Jason does smile, but it's more sardonic and knowing than a gleeful "got ya" reaction.]

You know, if you were less of a dick to her, no pun intended, she probably wouldn't be hanging out with me at all. But no, wait, you don't care. It's not your problem. She's a big girl, he said patronizingly. She can take care of herself, he said, meaning the exact opposite. God, is it any wonder we're getting along? You practically did all the friend making work for me. All I had to do is show up and not be a flaming douchebag.

Seriously, though, thanks. I like her a lot. Maybe one day she'll even come around to my view of things.

[knightviolet]

Things the both of you can choke on:

• Patronizing bullcrap!
  
• Using me as mindgame leverage!
  
• Dicks.

Kisses!

[goodsoldier]

Hey, I was being sincere as fuck. It's not my fault if Tim is a self-centered weirdo.

[But he was well aware Tim would take it that way, and that was the intention. IT WAS AN AMAZING TRAP, COME ON.]

Also, where the hell did you come from.

[knightviolet]

Laying self-centered weirdo traps counts as instigation.

The shadows.

[goodsoldier]

But I got him! He was resisting responding to me! And now you know you matter to him more than Damien. Isn't that a comfort? A backhanded, double-edged comfort?

Oh, those.

[knightviolet]

You do know we broke up, right? Damien was actually occasionally better company before I was rewritten into nothingness.

[robinred]

You're going to get milkshakes with this guy? ( Did he read the notice or simple choose to ignore it, I don't even know. )

[knightviolet]

It was in another dimension! He was the only familiar-ish face and some dude named Iron Douchebag kept trying to ~register~ us. Milkshakes were a good option.

What are you doing letting Angstbucket McTylenolpillhelmet rile you up, anyway?

[robinred]

( Alternate dimension. There are a lot of those. ) I can see why you would think that. ( Does he agree? Well . . . )

I'm not doing anything.

[knightviolet]

Diner food is the best fuel for scheming.

Whatever, Tim, you almost made a facial expression.

[robinred]

I meant what I said. ( Really, not even Tim is deluded enough to think he's convincing anybody. ) She won't slip into your pit.

[goodsoldier]

We all know what you meant. I'm just glad you said it so it's in the open and we can all talk it out.

[robinred]

Right.

[goodsoldier]

Pulling back into your snail shell so soon? Fine. I already got you. I can be generous.

[robinred]

( I got you. That's. . . what all of this boils down to.

How kind of you, Todd. Enjoy the silence and the unmovable object that is now Tim Drake. )