a hairy situation

[hagakure]

Hey, hey! If I'm gonna be controlled by some alien from another planet, watchin' me from a computer screen, then I wanna make sure one thing is clear. I can't accept this if we don't get it settled.

I always look cool! Got that? There isn't an uncool thing about me! I'll get mad if ya say otherwise! Besides what sort of heresy is this? "He would look cooler with short hair" you say? My hair is fine the way it is!

That guy in the picture is definitely not me, so there is only one answer: he's an impostor! A clone, a spy in disguise, sent to trick everyone! Don't ya dare go around saying that someone pretending to be me is cooler than the real deal! I won't accept it! If ya let your guard down you'll be sorry about it!

Comments

[tsunball]

Man, how can't you see that his hair is much better?! Yours looks like it exploded!

[hagakure]

My hair has never exploded! I would have noticed if it did for sure!

[tsunball]

[ .. it's hagakure, so maybe he never would have.. ]

It's a figure of speech! What, are you retarded or something?

[hagakure]

It isn't a very good figure of speech at all. Why would my hair look like it exploded?

[tsunball]

Because it's all over the place for no reason! I kept wondering how you even walked through doors with that shit on your head, y'know!

[fibs]

Your hair is a disgusting mess. It's very obvious to everyone.

[hagakure]

Hahaha! Nice try, but I know you're lying. Nobody thinks that about my hair.

[except celes but celes is mean.]

1/3

[alienstookmyburgers]

[ It is good day to be Hagakure... ]

2/3

[alienstookmyburgers]

[ Wait...what blasphemy is this? Him with short hair?! Hell no! ]

3/3

[alienstookmyburgers]

[ WAIT HOLY SHIT IS THAT HIMSELF SHOWING HIM THE PICTURE? WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?! ]

ALIENS!

1/2

[hagakure]

Aliens?! Where?!

[give him a moment.....................]

[hagakure]

[.............OH GOD.]

ALIENS!

[alienstookmyburgers]

[ AND IT AGREED?! WAIT! This was part of it's plan! To trick him! ]

I'm not an alien, yeah? You are! You won't get my food this time!

And you won't cut my hair either, yeah?!

[hagakure]

Your mind tricks won't work on me! I'm way smarter than to fall for that, ya got that?! No one is touchin' my hair, or my food, so don't ya even try it!

[HE WILL GET YOU IMPOSTER-HAGAKURE.]

[alienstookmyburgers]

[ Wait...he was worried about his food and hair...No! He couldn't be fooled!

Unless... ]

Wait.

...What if we're playing right into the aliens trap, yeah? If we fight, then our burgers are ripe for the takin'!

1/2

[hagakure]

Hey, you gotta point there! This could be an elaborate plot to distract us from the truth.

[hagakure]

--Unless you're just trying to fool me into being buddy buddy and then getting me when I least expect it! And if you are, it won't work!

[He's smarter than to be fooled by himself!!]

[alienstookmyburgers]

I was trying to help you! What if we are the destined Hagakures, chosen by the elite of Earth to band our anti-alien powers together in order to save this earth and all it's fast food yeah? What if we're really Super High School Level Alien Busters!

[ It makes perfect sense! Why else would there be two Hagakures?! ]

1/2

[hagakure]

[GASP]

[hagakure]

Y-You're right. All the signs add up, how could I have not seen it before? Aaaaahh nothing has ever made more sense before in my life. Together we have been brought together to save the planet from the aliens, destined to work together. Which is real and which is fake -- it is a completely irrelevant question in the face of this peril!

Hagakure-san, please forgive me! I was blind-sighted and almost lost the goal in mind. To defeat the terror threatening all humanity and all its fast food chains!

[alienstookmyburgers]

Hahaha! I'm not mad, yeah? You only acted that way out of your desire to protect this planet! I could never be mad at that!

Though now I wonder...how on earth did we end up meeting?