HULK WANT HOME

[mepunchgods]

HULK HAD HOME. HOME GONE. HULK NOT HAPPY! PUT HULK IN NEW HOME.

MEAN TIME, HULK GIVE LISTENS. HULK SOLVE PROBLEMS. YOU TELL HULK PROBLEMS.

MUN WILL FIND HOME.

Comments

[starkreactor]

I ...

[ Well, fuck. That's hilarious. ]

Maybe we could get you a career as the new Oprah, buddy.

[mepunchgods]

[BROW FURROWS.] WHAT OPRAH?

[HAS FOUND BRUCE'S GLASSES. TRIES TO GET THEM ON. FAILS.]

nevermind the muse, this is a mun problem that the Hulk is absolutely the best one to help with

[imaketheclanks]

Hulk! My problem is that one of my favorite bloggers got hounded off the internet yesterday by a bunch of trolls. You are in fact the perfect person to deal with this problem.

...I lawled

[mepunchgods]

THIS EASY. HULK SMASH TROLLS. WHERE TROLLS?

[charming_jerk]

Dude, you already solve problems by getting pissed off and hitting shit really hard. That makes you my hero.

My current problem is that I've been kidnapped and dragged off to the future to fight in an interdimensional space/time war against my will. Haven't figured out how punchin' shit will get me home yet.

[mepunchgods]

[BROWS FURROW. SCOWL.] HOW DOES SMASH NOT SOLVE FIGHT? [SMASH SOLVES ALL FIGHT.]

[whitescalesbigmouth]

...Someone like you can solve problems?

[She's not being rude Hulk honestly it's just well you look more like a fighter than someone who can sit and brain about stuff.]

[mepunchgods]

SOLVE MANY PROBLEMS. HULK NOT DUMB! [RECEIVE HULK SCOWLY FACE. YOU CALLIN' HIM DUMB?]

[whitescalesbigmouth]

I-I never said that!

[Easy fella, Saft just wants to make friends is all.]

Seriously, please. Don't get upset. I just wanted to talk.

[manofiron]

You sure you really want to deal with other people's problems?

[mepunchgods]

[BIG GRIN. ...MAYBE NOT NICE GRIN.] HULK GOOD AT SOLVE.

[manofiron]

Sure. You know, you're right. But here's the thing. Other people's problems are boring.

[mepunchgods]

[GOOD POINT. THINK. LOOONG THINK.] HULK MAKE PROBLEMS LESS BORING. SOLVE PROBLEMS, NO BORING.

[manofiron]

Yeah, that's... Actually, no, that's a good point. You do make them less boring. Okay. Good job, Jolly Green.

[mepunchgods]

[HAS FOUND BRUCE'S GLASSES. HOLDS THEM. TOO SMALL TO WEAR.] TELL HULK PROBLEMS.

[olympic_lion]

Dear Hulk,

I keep on running out of things (and people) to smash! Hardly anyone lasts long enough for a satisfying pummelling, walls crack under my fists all too readily, and so many base villains are weaklings I have to hold back for! Would you be able to think of any way to cut through this conundrum?

Signed,
Anxious in Olympus

Oh gods I forgot how much I <3 you

[mepunchgods]

[IN SEVERELY HANDICAPPED CHILD-LIKE HANDWRITING]

ANXIOUS,

COME FIGHT HULK. WE FIGHT. WE SMASH. METAL MAN GIVE HULK SMASHY PLACE. IS GOOD.

HULK

Aww, I missed you too

[olympic_lion]

Dear Hulk,

Do you have nachos and beer or do I need to bring them? In either case, I remain

Awesome and On the Way

[mepunchgods]

AWESOME,

METAL MAN YELL BUT GET BOTH. SEE SOON!

HULK

[starkreactor]

Hey, you want me to take those for you there, big guy?

[ Because Bruce might need 'em for science. ]

[mepunchgods]

[LONG THOUGHTS. GIVES GLASSES.] METAL MAN KEEP SAFE.

NOW, METAL MAN TELL HULK PROBLEMS.

[starkreactor]

Yep. I'll give them to our mutual buddy when I next see him, right?

[ Pausing. ] Me? I'm fine. Peachy keen.

[mepunchgods]

[SNIFFSNIFF. GLARE.] BAD LIAR.

[takeswing]

What kind of problems?

[charming_jerk]

Oh, it can solve a fight, but punchin' shit ain't gettin' me a way home to 2012 from 3320.

[mepunchgods]

...

PUNCH TIME.

[olympic_lion]

Dear Hulk,

[Annnd THAT's when the rest of the thing becomes unreadable as a big Greek fist comes tearing through on the way toward Hulk's chin.]

Ha-HA! I trust you're prepared, friend Hulk, to receive The Gift of battle!

[And yes, the nachos and beer are stacked off to the side. Be sure and not to smash TOO close to them, right?]

[starkreactor]

Hey, I'm totally an awesome liar with years of practice.

[mepunchgods]

[SNORT.] SMELL LIE.

omg WHAT is that icon saying?! ROFL

[mepunchgods]

[!!!! HULK SMASH. GLARE.] HULK LIKE GIFT. HULK LIKE GIVE GIFT.

[THUS IT BECOMES THE MOST EPIC BRAWL OF ALL TIME.]

[starkreactor]

No, that's just my cologne.

You should see some of his other sound effects. :3

[olympic_lion]

[And the grin on that bearded face never stops, be he picking Hulk up by one leg and using him like a club to batter down the walls or getting piledriven face-first through the floor. Ah, the joys of a worthy opponent!] 'Tis the Gift that keeps on giving!

[Meanwhile the mun is facepalming in disbelief that Herc just said that. Augh!]

I am in utter awe of all your icons.

[mepunchgods]

[The beating is eagerly returned, using pieces of wall like baseballs (if baseballs were the size of cars) and wrestling Hercules outright.

[GOOD HUMAN. NOT AFRAID. REAL FIGHT!] THAT ALL YOU GOT?

you can't say no to me, baby

[irondick]

[ ..SNORTLING. ...which is chortling and snorting at the same time. shush, it's a thing. ]

Gonna solve my problems, Buddy? [ BIG GRIN. ]

Nope, I never can

[mepunchgods]

TELL HULK PROBLEMS. HULK SOLVE. [HULK'S FAVORITE METAL MAN.]

you and me, sweetiepie, we're gonna go far.

[irondick]

[ He's your favourite, Hulky? ♥ He's preening. ]

Sadly, none of my problems can be solved by smashing. How about you give me a hug though? That'd solve some problems.

[deconsecreator]

Oh man, Hulk, could you totally come fix the problem with my dad? He keeps coming home drunk and he hits my mom and me and someone totally needs to put him in his place!

*Bows* I just wish I could take credit for more of them. Speaking of, want some?

[olympic_lion]

[Oooh, wrestling! Herc's been doing that Greco-Roman style for a good 3000 years now, so Hulk may wind up taking a few painful falls from that.]

My dear Hulk, I'm just getting started!

[Because while Herc does love random smashing, if Hulk wants serious he'll get serious- and as the inventor of the world's first all-inclusive martial art, pankration? When Herc gets serious, it hurts. (And provides yet more funny sound effects, of course!)]

Oooh icons? Of??

[mepunchgods]

[The Hulk has the advantage of healing nearly instantly from his wounds and returning them as quickly as he can. Finally, a human worthy!]

STRONG MAN! HULK LIKE STRONG MAN! FIGHT MORE!

[This is so going to go on until neither of them can move. It may take a while.]

I'd been thinking some more Avengers-movie Hulk icons. Did you have something else in mind? (1/2)

[olympic_lion]

[See, THIS is why the Hulk is so damn fun to battle; he just keeps going! And the fact that he's having a good time means the 'keeps getting madder, keeps getting stronger' part doesn't really come to play... but he has a healing factor, and Herc doesn't.

So really, it's a good thing that he's such a skilled fighter; being able to dish out more whuppin' than he's taking keeps them pretty even.]

Friend Hulk, you're as game a mortal as ever drew breath. It's an honor to face you so!

[Cue more smashing.]

(2/2)

[olympic_lion]

-A Goodly While Later-

[Herc was staggering, but still game; this was too much FUN to stop yet! (Not to mention a certain matter of pride.) He stepped in, swinging a FEROCIOUS blow at the Hulk- yet his aim was off, his fist impacting with Hulk's own to create a shockwave of RESOUNDING force. A force so great, in fact, that it knocked the beer kegs over. Right on top of the tortilla chips for the nachos!]

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

...If I haven't said this enough, you are the most amazing person ever. XD

[mepunchgods]

[!!!!!!!]

[GOOD FOOD CRUSHED. NO!]

[The Hulk walks over to the kegs and lifts them, prodding at the crushed chips beneath. He seems quite upset, er, for the Hulk.]

THIS BAD.

I can but try. :D (1/2)

[olympic_lion]

[Shaking off his aches, Herc came over as well- and fell to his knees.] No... Not like this, not like this...

[OH, the dread mourning of the chips! How could any heart bear it?]

(2/2)

[olympic_lion]

Wait! I may have a notion!

[Give him a sec, try to tease it out, flesh it out into becoming sensible, and...]

We can stir the chip-crushings INTO the nacho cheese itself! Mix in some meat and olive slices, and we may have some form of nacho-porridge for ourselves; not quite the same, but mayhap just as good!

[Egad, what genius! Who could ever foresee such a brilliant notion? CLEARLY they must try it out immediately. Because GENIUS.]

((OOC: Incidentally, let me know if any of these icons work for you?


Hope you like!]