Post-Ragnarok, details in profile~

[theladywho]

Look. I don't care about whatever timeline crap you've strung together to explain how she and I can have existed at the same time. Two years ago a wave of robotic, phallic looking aliens ravaged New York City. Last week, a guy came into the ER with an intact balloon animal stuck near his prostate. People suddenly like the Clippers. My suspension of disbelief is high.

But here's what I don't accept: being some kind of incubator for a dead god. I'm a real, whole person.

So, you can go fuck yourself. Because The Lady Sif being reborn? It sounds an awful lot like Sarah Whittaker dying. And I don't believe in any sort of world that would expect me to be okay with that.

Comments

[slaughterdew]

Certainly the Lady Sif would not expect such a sacrifice.

[The idea of a world without Sif--it is painful, yes, but Thor is not his brother. These mortals have every right to their own lives, and Sif would never ask for one to sacrifice themselves for her. She is too noble and true for that.

So he aches. But this is what he must say, childish hope be damned.]

[theladywho]

[Sarah takes a long moment to answer. Because -- who looks like that? Just. What actual person looks like that?]

I don't care what the Lady Sif would have expected, either way. She's dead. I'm sorry, but people die every day and it sticks.

...you're one of them?

[slaughterdew]

I am Thor, yes. Lady Sif is--was, in your world--one of my dearest friends.

[This is the fashion you're missing, Sarah!

...that's probably not an incentive.]

I understand your anger. I, too, would be outraged. If there is any way I could be of aid, Sarah, you need only ask.

[theladywho]

[She was referring more to entire...muscle, hair, viking package. It's actually providing some perspective for some of her more terrible dating choices.

All the same.]

And why should I believe you? For all I know, you up and took over somebody's body too.

[slaughterdew]

You have my word I did not.

[RUDE, MORTAL. And Thor is blissfully oblivious. He's ...usually like that.]

And I will not allow such to happen to you if I have any power in the matter.This, too, I vow.

[theladywho]

I don't have any reason to trust your word. If our positions were reversed and I had a friend hiding out in you, it would make sense to try and gain your trust.

[Sarah doesn't actually have any friends, at the moment. But if she did, she can certainly imagine playing someone for a fool to try and get them back.]

[slaughterdew]

I am Thor Odinson.

[Does he LOOK like Loki? Come on. Sillybuns.]

Surely you have heard tales of the Avengers.

[theladywho]

Good for you! That's a nice name!

[What is a Loki even?]

I've heard that Captain America is very handsome.

[slaughterdew]

This is so. Steve son of Rogers even defeated me in a 'hottest Avengers poll'. It was a hard fought battle, but his victory brought me great joy, for it denied the Man of Iron much empty talk of his superiority! If only Rogerson would make use of his title--

[Wait, he's off track.]

I keep my word, Sarah. I would never dishonor my family or companions with deceit.

[theladywho]

Really? Because, you've got the whole [she gestures generally in Thor's direction] all of that. Happening.

[And then she shakes her head, because this is not the fucking time.] That's your prerogative, then. But there's a whole group of incredibly well funded cultists out there who disagree.

[slaughterdew]

[He is so not immune to flattery, so he beams.]

I believe it was the Captain's boyish charm that won the day, but I am flattered.

[And then wait, what?]

Cultists?

[theladywho]

Cultists. You're Gods. Yeah, cultists come with the package.

[slaughterdew]

No true followers of Thor would practice nor preach deception. You must tell me of them, so I may root them out.

[theladywho]

They think I'm the vessel of your wife and they're still a giant group of dicks to me. I don't think your opinion really factors in.

[slaughterdew]

My--

[What?]

They are most mistaken. I will put a stop to this at once.

[theladywho]

I didn't write the books!

If you want to put a word in, great. They call themselves Hydra.

[slaughterdew]

Hydra?

[This? This is the face of god rage.]

This will not stand. Mark me, Lady Sarah, they will trouble you no longer. I will bring the lightning down upon them, and they will know the true Thor trucks not with their wickedness.

[theladywho]

[That is...nearly as bad as her angry face.

Why is it so attractive?]

You're speaking like you already know them.

[slaughterdew]

The Captain has described them to me.

[Nazis? Yeah, fuck them.]

That they persist and continue in their schemes is unacceptable. We will rout them and tear out the roots of their evil.

[theladywho]

..."we?"

I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm human. Trying to stay that way.

[slaughterdew]

I would not involve you, you are but a mortal physician. I speak of the Avengers.

[This is him trying to be polite.]

[theladywho]

[Oh, fuck that and fuck you, Thor. She darts her eyes from side to side, clearly thinking about running for it.]

So I'm on the radar of whatever shady government organization keeps you all from being sued? No thank you. I'm out.

[slaughterdew]

[Thor stands firm. He will also follow you if you run for it, Sarah, you're not done here.]

That is not your decision. If Hydra has an interest in you it is our duty to keep you safe, regardless of whose soul you harbour.

[theladywho]

[Says YOU, Thor. Sarah blinks. Thinks about it.

And then runs the hell out of there.]

[radars]

I'm... inclined to agree.

[theladywho]

Right? Chris Paul is amazing, but he can't make a whole team by himself.

[radars]

I meant on the question of identity, though a point well taken, I suppose.

[theladywho]

Right. That too.

Do you have an immortal deity supposedly hiding out in your brain, too?

[radars]

Ah -- no, not unless you count the current inhabitant. Which I don't.

I can take a look for you, if you like.

[theladywho]

Sorry, what?

[Fuck, fuck, fuck. That sounds an awful lot like evil scientist talk and the hell if Sarah is letting someone like that get inside her brain.

She's looking around for something to hit him over the head with, you bet your bottom dollar.]

[radars]

Telepath. Not evil scientist. I promise.

[theladywho]

Also not reassuring!

[No way -- she can see how this goes. She lets him into her brain and then whoops! Lady Sif is switched on and Sarah takes a distant backseat. And everyone involved acts very sorry about the whole thing, but really who gives a crap about some resident with no friends or family when a fucking God is available.]

[radars]

I wouldn't do that. Listen: I can feel you. I know you are a person, a whole person, and if there is a god locked inside you, it may or may not be a part of you. Believe me, I would never alter a person's mind without permission. I've been down that road. It's a terrible one.

[theladywho]

Stop reading my mind!

[She's staring him down and thinking of pink elephants. Something she read in a book -- if you tell yourself not to think of pink elephants, that's all you can imagine.]

...do you have anything important, on you? Anything that matters.

[radars]

Any... objects, you mean?

[theladywho]

Yes.

Relax, I'm not a pick pocket. Besides, the nicest watch in the world wouldn't even make a dent in my student loans.

[radars]

Then, my dear, I assume you've never seen the price tag on the nicest watch in the world. I can hardly imagine you've spent more than a few million dollars in loans.

[theladywho]

...what?

Who would spend that much money on a watch? Who would spend that much money on an anything?

[radars]

People who have too much money and not enough anything else.

[theladywho]

Are you one of those people?

[radars]

That would depend on what universe you're asking about.

In the one I know -- no. I threw all my inheritance into hiding and protecting those I cared for.

[theladywho]

Well. Good. If you're telling the truth, people are worth more than watches.

[She shifts, from side to side. And wonders what the hell parts of a god of war are in her.]

Give me your wallet. While you do your mind reading thing. If you try and go someplace you shouldn't, I'll chuck it in a toilet.

[forcedreset]

[ brb googling 'balloon animal'.

brb googling 'prostate'.

okay, well. ]

My, how uncomfortable! You must have a very interesting job!

[ because yeah that's really all that he got out of this. ]

[theladywho]

[No. No, small child. You don't want to know what--

...eh. You have to learn at some point that google is not always a friend.]

I've got a great job, yes. One that doesn't usually involve...that.

[forcedreset]

[ hey he learned that awhile ago. kids these days, amirite? blame the internet and its uncouth denizens. loki is entirely innocent okay. ]

No? Well, thank goodness for small blessings, yes? Still, what a strange thing to do; mortals are such funny creatures!

[theladywho]

Thanks. We try.

[Don't trip over that sarchasm.]