app at ataraxion

[growbug]

Azari is coming?! Awesome!

I mean, Francis is okay and I guess so is James, but if I had to keep them from blowing up everything alone I'd be exhausted. So this is great! Him and me and Mr. Bucky and Mr. Howard and Tony will kick space's butt, you know it.

Speaking of butts, make James take a bath. He's been on his own for like two months and he probably smells like a moldy sock by now. Gross.

So less slacking and more getting cracking! Tony and the spaceship needs us to save them from James' crankiness and evil space dangers and stuff. I bet we get medals if we're super heroic. (Get it? Super?) Plus maybe I can have an alien as a pet! A real alien...that'd be so cool.

Comments

[mostofhim]

Only two months? You might not want to come visit my village after all, then. Some of my neighbors get preeeeetty rank.

[growbug]

But.

Dragons.

Plus James stink is reeeeeeally ...special.

[mostofhim]

I'm pretty sure large, smelly viking is pretty special, too, as far as unique smells go, but if you're willing to brave it for the dragons...

Then you might even make "honorary viking".

[growbug]

Really?!

Wait. Do I have to talk like Torunn? You don't talk like Torunn. If I can talk normal I wanna be an honorary viking! Can I have a horn hat?!

[mostofhim]

[ laughs ] Well, I dunno how Torunn talks, but you can talk however you want. I'll see what we can dig up as far as horn hats go and get back to you on that one, though.

[growbug]

"Verily, forsooth, delivereth me this horn hat or faceth my Asgardian wrath! I am a most fearsome scary mean warrior with the biggest of swords for which to poke at thee for no good reason becauseth I am a jerketh!"

Like that.

[mostofhim]

Uuuuh, no, you definitely don't have to talk like that. [ lol what even was that, his dad is scottish, k? ] Did you say Asgardian, though?

[growbug]

Yeah! She's from Asgard. You saw her sister-dad Thor. She's superstrong and can fly and stuff. But I'm better at flying, she just doesn't bruise when she crashes into things, and she cheats. Apparently everybody from Asgard talks like that, and they're Vikings like you guys.

Obviously not as cool, though. I bet Asgard doesn't have dragons.

[mostofhim]

..........Thor? Your sister is Thor's daughter?

[ WHAT IS HIS LIFE. ]

I am... not really sure how to take that. Okay. Your sister the "jerketh" is Thor's daughter. Thor. Our god Thor. Oooooh my god. Literally, actually, when you think about it.

Okay! I am so not freaking out. I'm fine.

[growbug]

[Ew gross don't be impressed Torunn is so obnoxious.]

Oh, man, it's good I told you. Then I can warn you. If you ever meet her you gotta promise not to act like it's a big deal, she's already really annoying. It's all 'my father this' and 'Asgard that' and 'smite smite smite', it's terrible.

[mostofhim]

Yeah, no, I will be totally cool. I just have to... process this. Wow.

[ takes a moment, breathes, wobbles a little because shush his balance isn't quite top notch yet ] OKAY! Right, so we got that out of our system. [ totally played-up nonchalance ] Oh, yeah, Thor's daughter? Eh, that's okay I guess.

[growbug]

She smited--smote? She smote the toaster once. Just because I made it talk.

[RIP Toasty :( ]

You don't even know how hard my life is sometimes.

[mostofhim]

[ He can... GUESS what a toaster is, sort of. Maybe. But that's not important. ]

No... No, I really don't think I do.

How did you make it talk?

[growbug]

Oh! Remember when you asked how robots have brains?

[OMG he gets to talk about science.]

Well, I made a sort of brain for Toasty. Just a little one. So he could tell me when my bagels were ready. See, you make a machine, but a really tiny one, and if you put enough of them together you can make them think. It's really cool.

[mostofhim]

Uh, yeah! I can't even... figure out how that would work, you'd need... I don't even know, something to blow air through a diaphragm to make noise, and something that can modulate it, and something to tell those things to do their jobs and how, and something to-- how do you manage to make something like that small enough to even be built?

[ ELECTRICITYYYY. Among other things. You get to really start from scratch with this one, Pym. ]

[growbug]

Small-- [Shriiiink. Flutter. Pym, you showboater.] --is my specialty!

And you're totally right. You need to use special tools and lots of math to do it. And it helps if you already have a computer. A computer is a machine that lets you do a lot of designing and research really fast, like a--like a super abacus!

[mostofhim]

See, we just need to trade. You need to come visit me to see dragons, and I need to come visit you so I can see these... robots and computers and everything.

[ and maybe meet Torunn because Hiccup's not particularly gung-ho about religion or anything, but Thor's daughter? That's just cool. ]

[growbug]

[Hiccup man BE COOL, Pym is counting on you science bro.]

That is such a good idea. When you come see me you gotta be careful though! We still have a lot of evil robots. I'd be really mad if you got lasered to death.

[lol what is childhood innocence]

Oh, hey!

You know what we should do?

Robot.

Dragon.

[mostofhim]

[ No, he will be totally cool. The coolest. He's only really awkward if he's flirting, and Astrid would kill him, so that won't be happening... ]

I don't know what that means, but death is pretty self-explanatory and I will do my best to avoid it if at all possible.

[ Yeah, even Hiccup had more of that... ]

...I like the way you think.

[growbug]

[What is with you and Francis and scary girls with sharp things? Pym does not get it. When he gets a girlfriend she won't maybe stab him, okay.]

Lasers are bad to get hit with. Like an ant under a magnifying glass.

[Sage nod. Pym zips around Hiccup's head.]

It's perfect! Then I can have a dragon and you can learn about robotics and electricty and stuff! Oh, man, we can make it breathe fire! Ha! I'd like to see Torunn boss me around then.

[willpunchfaces]

Great. It's just gonna be one big, happy family there, isn't it?

[sarcasm Pym, can you hear it]

[growbug]

Yeah!

[n o p e]

You'll really like Tony when you get to know him, you'll see.

[willpunchfaces]

[he just facepalms at you, Pym]

What makes you so sure of that?