Say whaaaat

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

Yooooooou have no idea what you're doing do you. I mean, I've done the narrator bit before. It was awesome, I was great at it, right? I said fuck a lot, that seems to help. But seriously you're supposed to direct me, tell me to do something, and you're just kinda flailing around like you were shoved in the back of a car under water or something.

Like you just saw that happen in a movie.

Weird, right? Yeah. Okay I think I'm done here. Yep.

Comments

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

[...What. Even.] Oh, another face twin.

At least you are not Mr. Stark.

[vfranklinmott]

Well. That's unfortunate.

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

[Holy. Fucking. Shit.] Er, another? Meaning, I'm not the first me you've encountered on this crazy thing? I mean my mundane might have mentioned there was the off-chance that someone that looks a bit like me might comment here but -

Shit, already? And who the fuck is Mr. Stark? Does he smile more than you?

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

Yep, sure is. Say what now?

[vfranklinmott]

You're stuck with a mun who doesn't have a purpose for you. Worst of the worst.

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

Oh yeah, that. That about sums it up yeah. Worst of the ... worst. Sure. You know for some reason I really doubt that.

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

I've met another you, a faux-German masseuse, and the aforementioned Stark. We seem to get around quite a bit.

[Now, that was rude, Harry.] I can smile. When I choose to, and if the situation calls for it.

[vfranklinmott]

That depends on your definition. If you doubt it, then enlighten me, what would be yours?

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

Well it's not like I don't have a pretty face. You either, I guess, when it comes down to it. We're very well-bred men is what I'm trying to say here -

Oh, wow, that uh. Hm. Sounds... ominous. So I'm the detective actor person, there's another me around, a... faux-German masseuse, this Stark guy, and... who are you supposed to be. What do you do.

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

You know I'd really rather... not. If that's okay. With you.

[vfranklinmott]

[He could glamor an answer out of you, Harry. But he won't waste the mental strain. :| ]

Very well. If you wish to be so boring.

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

If I wish to - ... okay that was low. And slick. And it's totally working because a: not boring and 2 - fuck, wait, I started with a, didn't I, so the next up would be b, right yeah, b: have you ever had your finger cut off by a door by like the one friend you've wanted to fuck since high school but still haven't? Doesn't feel so great.

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

[Have an eyebrow raise at that. But it's okay, he agrees. Compliments and all.]

It's fine. Name's Dr. Robert Kozak and I was - am - a scientist. Minor, ah, defects aside.

[Yes there is a tail. Pay no attention to it, really. It'll just be back here. Swaying.]

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

Was - am - I don't - [EYES WIDENING AT AN EXPONENTIAL RATE NOW.] ...holy fuck what is that thing?!

[vfranklinmott]

...No. Can't say I have. [All the amusement at the numbers and letters sorting, but he doesn't let it show. Too much.] Have you ever been shot with wooden bullets by a redneck playing hero? That doesn't feel too great either.

[vanshrike]

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

What does it look like?

[Do you need a moment, Harry? He can wait. Try not to be hypnotized by the fluff in the meantime.]

OMG GAY PERRY FUCKIN HI /SCREAM

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

Oh hey. Thanks. Isn't she great? She's so great. She's so not great.

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

I - uh.. wooden bullets? Nnnnnno, I can't say that I have. But I have been shot by a New Yorker playing hero. You know really, when I think about it, all the shit that's happened to me? Her fault. All her fault.

...What's worse is I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing. I did lose my finger in that whole ordeal. [He pulls a face. Like 'yeah, fuck, this really happened, it's sad'.] A dog ate it.

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

That. Looks like a - ... do you really want me to answer that? You don't look too pleased to have like, the entire mop aisle at Wal-Mart swaying to and fro from your ass.

and that line just killed me irl <3

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

[HOW DARE YOU, SIR.]

No, I'm not too pleased about it, nor does it resemble that.

[Really, now. Wal-Mart? Have some class.]

4:30 in the morning does wonders! <3

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

[HE'S HAD A LOT OF CRAZY SHIT HAPPEN TO HIM DON'T JUDGE.]

Well last time I checked most mops came in that... drab silvery-grey color, although they're usually attached to, you know, a mop stick or something, I don't know, I - yoooou look unhappy. Mop tail not fun? Doesn't look fun. Is it prehensile or does it just kinda do its own thing?

/coolshades

[vanshrike]

[With less than no sincerity:] I'm sure between the two of you you'll figure it out.

[vfranklinmott]

It's worth it if you got a courtesy fuck out of it at least. Or something.

[Pause.] A dog ate your finger. Okay, then. What, hospital couldn't give you a prosthetic?

[He should've killed the dog, in Franklin's opinion, but then Harry seems like the sort to mourn a fly.]

you are The Greatest

[actorthiefdetectiveidiot]

What, you can't save me from the not great person holding me hostage? Perry? Perry come on.