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on realizing his best friend is the burd
This is your fault. Yeah, you at the keyboard. It's all your fault!
I was happy when I was just Lieutenant Colonel and working for the government. Then you pull me out and put me in weird situations, and now my best friend is a bird that I named Horatio after I kind of almost killed its previous owner, and my previous best friend spends all of his time making fun of me. No matter which version of him I run into.
This is ridiculous!
And I'm not whining! Get me out of here!
I was happy when I was just Lieutenant Colonel and working for the government. Then you pull me out and put me in weird situations, and now my best friend is a bird that I named Horatio after I kind of almost killed its previous owner, and my previous best friend spends all of his time making fun of me. No matter which version of him I run into.
This is ridiculous!
And I'm not whining! Get me out of here!

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Keep bitching. Seriously. It's therapeutic.
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It's a— It's a bird, how does it understand grammar.
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Don't look at me like that. I'm not mad at you.
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[It isn't that crazy that Tony could be turned into a bird. He knows a Tony who got turned into a panther and Steve's mundane turns him into a wolf regularly.]
Where did you find Horatio?
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He found me. He uh-- we have a complicated history.
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[Found him and have a complicated history... that could be said about Steve in a lot of realities..]
Complicated usually has a way of getting us all in trouble.
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I know these feels.
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See, this is why I hate this place. Too many of one person. I can't handle it.
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