[on life in dagaz]

[girl_friday]

Admittedly, I was under the impression Tony would have swept in here by now, making some sort of pithy entrance remarks that he'd been drafting on his flight over.

Probably some comment about coming to help me find my glass slipper.

But that's really the point, Mundane. I am not Cinderella and I'm not entirely convinced you took that into account before slapping me in the middle of this ridiculous contest. I don't even want to be queen.

And honestly, you don't even want to get me started on Loki.

Comments

[fullondiva]

If the shoe fits, babe.

[girl_friday]

Glass slippers are impractical.

It's a wonder she didn't wind up with a heel full of glass shards.

[fullondiva]

Is that a metaphor I'm supposed to get? I was being figurative.

[girl_friday]

Oh, just the sort of thing one comes up with when sitting around, waiting to be married off to a prince.

But please. Take your time getting here. I know you're very busy and important, after all.

[fullondiva]

I'm sorry. Who schedules all my engagements? Oh, right. That would be you.

[girl_friday]

Of course.

How silly of me.

I'll get right to work on not being kidnapped so I can come back and schedule your eyebrow shaping.

[fullondiva]

[Waggle]

Hey, I am all natural. You know. Except for the... big hole in my chest but anyway the point is that I was under the impression I was being deliberately held back.

[girl_friday]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

My Mundane, on the other hand, is giggling like an idiot.

[fullondiva]

Well, she probably is. Who else thinks it's a good idea to shove the two of us in some sort of demi-god beauty pageant? What is this, a comic book for girls?

[girl_friday]

Speaking of comic books, I've been hearing--sorry, hold on.

[Offstage:] Pepperlony isn't even a word. You mean Pepperoni.

I'm sorry, the Mundane is illiterate. Were you saying something?

[fullondiva]

You'd know if you weren't ordering pizza while I was talking. Am I boring you?

[girl_friday]

Constantly.

[fullondiva]

Is that what you're calling it? With me not there, you must be desperate for some boredom right about now.

[girl_friday]

Oh, Tony.

I'm very good at boring myself, but I appreciate your concern.

[fullondiva]

I would like to state for the record that you said that, I did not.

[girl_friday]

The record shall so reflect.

[fullondiva]

That said, I feel like asking... you really don't want to be a queen?

[girl_friday]

What, and steal your spotlight?

[fullondiva]

Cute, but I'm not even there.

Besides, you know I'm all man. You have evidence.

Wait.

You don't really have evidence, do you?

[girl_friday]

You have cameras everywhere.

[fullondiva]

That wasn't my question. JARVIS, check the personnel files for me. Ms. Potts' personal personnel files for me. On me. Pick your preposition.

[girl_friday]

Oh, please.

As if I'd have sex tapes anywhere you could find them.

[fullondiva]

But now I'm bored. By which I mean actually lonely-and-or-horny, depending on which you find more flattering, not some crass double-entendre.

[girl_friday]

I'd have guessed you were both.

[fullondiva]

If I was one, I'd really hope I wasn't the other.

Unless, again, you mean that whole chest-thing.

[girl_friday]

You know, there's a simple solution to all this.

Aside from masturbation, of course.

[fullondiva]

...

Clones?

[girl_friday]

You coming here.

[fullondiva]

Why don't you come here?

[girl_friday]

I can't.

We don't all come with handy flying suits.

[fullondiva]

Hey, I worked hard for my handy flying suit.

But seriously. It doesn't sound like a place either of us wants to be.