(no subject)

[studmuffin]

Okay, I'm sorry, I thought you were the responsible adult around here, but now I'm thinking you're either six years old or really really high. I'm kinda hoping it's the latter, because while cuddle party sounds something you do with sparkly unicorns and Barbies - pack orgy. Notsomuch.

So if you're, y'know, gonna keep thinking it, can I have some of the weed too? [ Pause. ] Please?

Hey, I don't think Derek approves of you prostituting him out for the Pack at all. He hasn't even shown in the City yet and you're whistling for puppies and it's gross, you're so gross, I am disgusted and I think I need like ten really hot showers just to get the image of Derek cuddling out of my head.

[ Suddenly high pitched. ] No, we do not need Peter. What-?

Comments

[mccallmemaybe]

Aren't you supposed to have a cold shower?

your username is the best thing i have ever seen in my life.

[studmuffin]

It's to wipe the grossness off of me, dude. Not to calm me down. [ Pulling a face. God, Scott. ] I'm not batting for the pack-a-polooza.

[bettercallit]

Stiles, really, weed? [ A look. ] Without me. I'm hurt.

[studmuffin]

You know, as my "adopted father figure" [ Air quotes. ] I don't think you're supposed to be encouraging this sort of behaviour.

Also Phil would totally bust your ass. And not in a good way.

[bettercallit]

Encouragement comes with one of those boring lectures. [ Casual shrug. ] I don't do lectures.

[ What does he know? ] He wouldn't find out.

[invulnerated]

Batman, you've certainly fallen off your high horse.

[studmuffin]

I'm pretty sure DC haven't covered the in-cave orgy yet, so I'm totally still fine on that count.

[invulnerated]

That's your adopted sidekick you're talking about there, dude. Freaky.

[studmuffin]

Uh huh, he's you know, a total badass. He'd find out. [ Much like the Sheriff would if Stiles ever did anything more than drink out in the woods. ]

[invulnerated]

Unless it's Scott. Which, I can see.

[studmuffin]

[ Panicking. ] I don't even want to get jiggy with it. Unless you're Lydia. But a werewolf fuck fest? [ Flailing. ] Totally not on the cards. Ever. Anywhere.

[studmuffin]

Gross.

[invulnerated]

Really? You're overthinking werewolf orgies, but I'm gross?

[invulnerated]

Weeeeeeell, suffice to say, not Lydia.

[studmuffin]

I've known Scott since mud-pies were the food of choice, it's totally gross. And I'm not the one thinking about it. The lady in charge is. Because she is a horrible human being.

[studmuffin]

Which is why I'm arguing the point.

[invulnerated]

The point was you begging for drugs. I look away for one second, and you're replacing me as the obligatory bad guy.

[invulnerated]

Evidently. Tell her to stop whoring out my alpha, will you? Think of the poor betas she's traumatizing.

[studmuffin]

Oh.

[ Not random loose sex then. ] Hey, Batman totally crushed up that one flower.

[studmuffin]

Maybe if he wore a shirt more often --.

[ Nope. ] What if we all just close our eyes and pretend it's not happening?

[invulnerated]

Next you'll be stealing diamond-studded dog collars for McCall.

[invulnerated]

I like to keep mine real open when it happens, sorry.

[studmuffin]

I was thinking more of a ring thing.

[studmuffin]

I cannot actually fault you that.

[invulnerated]

Who will be the best man at the wedding, then?