on mun's terrible decision-making skills

[cardasseam]

I'm quite flattered that you want to put me in one of Quark's little programs. Really, I am! But the quarters in your mind are a bit cramped; I really don't think you could squeeze me in.

Besides, what need does a sexual paradise have for a tailor? Lingerie is not one of my specialities.

Comments

[julian_bashir]

Are we seriously having a discussion about my attractive features? [He looks amused.]

[cardasseam]

Are we? I thought we were discussing your unfortunate taste in apparel. But I am happy to change to a much more pleasant subject if you wish.

[julian_bashir]

[He had to chuckle, shaking his head.] Please. If you continue in this fashion I won't be able to pull my shirt over my swollen head in the morning.

[cardasseam]

And women everywhere would come banging down my door. Quite a few men, too. A change of topics it is then. Have you been keeping up with your reading, Doctor?

[julian_bashir]

[He just shook his head. Garak and that silver tongue of his.]

Well, not recently. I've been ah, distracted...

[cardasseam]

[LONG SUFFERING SIGH]

Why am I not surprised? But really, Doctor, I am disappointed. Your conversation will suffer if you don't exercise your mind as well as your body.

[julian_bashir]

Please, Garak. My conversational skills are already peak, at least you've never complained. Besides, the language of love can be spoken without words.

[cardasseam]

A typically human attitude. [Yes, Julian, that is condescension in his voice.] And while your conversation on Deep Space Nine was excellent, it's only because you exercised it weekly during our lunches.

[julian_bashir]

It could be because I am very human. [Yes, Garak, that's him taking your criticism and turning it into something he sounded proud of.]

Then come to the island and help me exercise again. [He was apparently oblivious to how suggestive that sounded, which was ironic from a romantic man like Julian.]

[cardasseam]

[You have a maddening talent for that. But it's one of your many charms.]

You do make it very tempting. [Poor, innocent, beautiful boy.]

[julian_bashir]

[Only innocent in the ways of Cardassians.]

Good. Perhaps we'll even manage to find you a date.

[cardasseam]

[The only ways that matter.]

A date? Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

[julian_bashir]

Well, we may have to. Apparently if you don't get intimate with someone your collar will choke you to death.

And if I haven't made it abundantly clear in the past, I refuse to let you die.

[cardasseam]

I'm not sure you realize what you're suggesting.

[julian_bashir]

I certainly do. I will make it my life's mission to get you a girlfriend, Garak. [Isn't that smile adorable?]

[cardasseam]

Let me make sure I understand you, Doctor. You're asking me to come to an island where I will be forced to wear a collar -- an accessory which does not go with my ensemble at all -- that will kill me if I don't have sex, all so you can get me a girlfriend? Forgive me if I'm not jumping with excitement at the opportunity.

[julian_bashir]

[He chuckled.] I'll admit it's more for my own selfish reasons of a continued lunch partner, but I do understand your resistance. I wouldn't want you to endanger yourself either.

[cardasseam]

Well, I would not want to deprive you of a lunchtime companion. And it's clear you need someone around to make sure you keep up with your reading.

Very well. I will take this under advisement.

[julian_bashir]

Either way, it was good to see you again.

[cardasseam]

A pleasure, as always, my dear doctor.