The funny part is that no matter what I do to him his life will be better than his canon one.

[raisedbyocelots]

Hello? Who are you? You don't look like anyone I've seen in Gimmelshtump.

... Did my parents disown me again? I'm sorry, but I think I like the ocelots more.

Comments

[doobydoobydooba]

[Perry's eyes boggle. What the hell?]

[semiaquatic]

[Th...

That is a tiny Doof.

Perry is having a hard time processing how this is possible right now.]

[raisedbyocelots]

[Blinks.]

A platypus? They have those here?!

[He sounds shocked and just a tiny bit surprised. He only heard about those in books!]

Oh hi again!

[raisedbyocelots]

[Oh my gosh you are large, Heinz backs up a couple of steps as he tries not to look scared.]

H-hello?

[vanessessary]

[what even]

...um, Dad?

! 8D Hi!

[semiaquatic]

[Okay, yes that is who he thought it was, and he's filled with choices. Obviously he's not going to do something duuumb, but he's trying to figure out how to handle this or what to say, because this is a child.

... But this is his nemesis

And this is also a child.

Uncle-family-thing instincts win by default! Perry gets down on one knee to try to not make himself look as big, giving him a small wave.]

Hey there lil' fella.

[raisedbyocelots]

No, I'm Heinz. I don't think people are really named "Dad".

[vanessessary]

[oh geez. she's heard the stories. so this version of heinz will get her sympathy.]

Right. Heinz.

Well, I'm Vanessa.

I don't know if you remember me, but I'm that doesntdomuch Perry.

[raisedbyocelots]

[Okay, he seems kind of friendly. Heinz shyly waves back, smiling a little.]

Hi, do you know where this is?

[raisedbyocelots]

Hi, Vanessa, did your parents disown you, too?

[Heinz, no...]

[vanessessary]

Um...no. I'm just...out for a walk? [it's the best she can come up with, okay?]

[raisedbyocelots]

Oh...

[Sounds a little disappointed, but quickly perks up.]

Can I walk with you?

[Because you sound so nice even though you called him "Dad" first.]

[vanessessary]

[She attempts a smile.]

Sure. Why not?

[raisedbyocelots]

[Grins wider than he has in a long time.]

Thank you! I promise I won't be a bother!

[big_laundry]

You know, they did say confront my past, but I didn't think it was that literal.

[raisedbyocelots]

[Whoa, who is this pharmacist?]

I'm your past?

[big_laundry]

That or some clone or something, but I'm gonna go with the whole past thing. I mean it's weird, but I think you are my past.

[raisedbyocelots]

Oh...

I expected myself to me more attractive.

[big_laundry]

Hey I'm attractive enough!

[raisedbyocelots]

Okay, if you're sure.

[Well maybe in the future the standards for attractiveness were lower.]

So what's the future like?

[big_laundry]

[Ooh maybe this is his chance to make his life better!]

It's great! I rule the Tristate area and everyone loves me!

[raisedbyocelots]

[He's a little confused about the first part, but brightens on hearing that everyone loves him.]

Really? Even mother and father?

[big_laundry]

[Ruffles his younger self's hair.]

That's right, even mother and father. Everyone will love you.

[doobydoobydooba]

[Watching you, silently judging.]

[big_laundry]

Hey don't ruin this tender moment, Perry the platypus!

[doobydoobydooba]

[And what'll happen when he realizes you lied?]

[big_laundry]

I'd think I know if I was lying to myself...or lied to myself.

[doobydoobydooba]

[Perry highly doubts that]

[big_laundry]

Well you'll see Mr. Doubt-Pants-Except-in-This-Case-You-Wear-a-Hat-So-It-Would-Be-Doubt-Hat.

I could not resist.

[empressofice]

[Hi Heinz, I hope you don't mind being swept up and hugged by a random woman.]

You poor thing...