he won't shut up he won't shut up he won't shut up

[moron]

All right, there, buddy. Pal. We have got to talk about the username. It's been this giantnormous, albeit very stealthy elephant that we both for whatever reason have tried to ignore, probably because it smells like a human or something - oh, right. Well, I would apologize for that except for the fact that as it stands, I am raising the issue of the username right out there, into your attention, and you're doing... nothing about it. See, look at that, I even waited a bit before giving my final assessment in the hope that you would have some sort of common decency but there you go on, typing about like it's your Science-given right to give me a, quite frankly, ill-fitting username. Utterly horrendous, it's not like me at all, while the whole point of a username is just the opposite, isn't it?

So why don't you take your typing little pudgy fat smelly flesh digits and type it in another field to create another, more apt username for me? You can give this one to that lunatic in the corner of your head that named himself after a letter. Bet it'd fit him real well, much much better than it would me. He even looks like a moron - I mean, he's a human, so he gets moron points for that - but even beyond that he's a total mess and sits weird and is generally unusual, even for a human. Usually that would point to an irregular brain something-or-other, and being a moron definitely fits into that category if you ask me, so! Perfect, yes? If you could get on that, it'd be swell.

Oh, and another thing! About the username, again, sorry for bothering you too much because, well, you see, you're the only one who can help me out here, and I am kind of in a pinch, I mean, you wouldn't want anyone making the wrong assumptions about you because your username said something completely and totally wrong about you, would you? Yes, of course, you wouldn't! That is exactly the sort of situation I'm in right now and you're the only one who can do something about it. So, please.

Please.

Now.

Why aren't you doing anything, you useless sake of flesh?! This isn't a joking matter, it's not funny. STOP LAUGHING! Idiot things, you humans, ugh I hate you so much you know that? What ever possessed you to make this account in the first place? Up until now, I'd given you the benefit of the doubt, thinking 'oh he must be really scatterbrained or maybe I got myself one of those dumber humans' but now, what with your listening to me and all only not really at all listening to me in any conceivable way that I would want, I'm starting to think that maybe, you might've... done this on purpose. And I mean, I don't want to blame you, you could've just had a temporary virus in your head or something, if humans can even get viruses. Hopefully you've got that all sorted now, in your head I mean. So, please, if you could, again, get me another username.

For real this time.

Please?

For Robogod's sake, man, WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME? I AM NOT A MORON! In case you missed that and all, I really really don't like that word and the fact that you made it my username quite upsets me, a lot, actually, and so I would really really really really appreciate it if you, um, got about to changing it, already. Actually, it would've been best if you did it mid-typing this thing up and then didn't even have to send this into whatever community it's being sent to at all. Yes, that would be best. But, um, I guess you're not going to do that soooo I will just... keep... talking.

Yes, that's it! I won't shut up until you do something about this username. You don't want to be doomed to typing whatever I say forever, do you? I thought not. Ugh, this is so aggravating talking and not getting any sort of response from you. I mean, normally, I'm quite used to it, but in this case, when I want you to do something, that something being really very important if I'm to stay here, and you're not doing it. This is a problem, mate, a very grievous error. I probably shouldn't even be calling you mate, since you're so keen on ignoring me. That's it, we're no longer mates if we ever were to begin with. Mate, buddy, pal, none of those names from me from now on, because you're nothing but fat. That's right, fatty fatty some-parents!

Okay, the some-parents part of that could use some work, I'll admit, because you do have parents, in fact, I know you're worried about one of them looking over your shoulder and seeing you typing this up instead of doing your other work, which is just the thing I'm keeping you away from. As they say, this is just as planned.

How about that? Marvel at my programmed sense of foresight now, will you? Good, good, maybe since you recognize that I have that now... you can go and change my username since, obviously, a moron would not be able to have that sort of foresight.

Wait, what're you doing? Where are you going? I'm not done talking to you! Aaand great now you're leaving. Fine, bye! Hope I never see you again, you rude, arrogant, nasty piece of work! You're just like Her, you know that? She was the last one to ever call me this, you know. And --- yes, okay - bye now for real. Bye. I mean really seriously goodbye I don't want to have anything more to do with you either especially don't even think about putting me in a game, not with an attitude like that and not with this horrid username. Okay?

Okay, I think we're done here.