i don't think he needs an explanation

[zeroasspats]

This is unnecessary, madam.

I'm simply a butler, nothing of real interest.

Are we done now?

Comments

[totallynotbatman]

You're very interesting, Alfred. Don't sell yourself short.

[zeroasspats]

You needn't reassure me, Master Bruce. The shorter I sell myself, the less likely I am to do much of anything when it comes to her, I believe.

[totallynotbatman]

What happened to your sense of adventure!

[zeroasspats]

If I recall correctly, you used that same sort of technique to get me on a boat with several barely-dressed women.

Who you promptly left me with. Perhaps it is still on that boat, Master Bruce, you shall have to look and see yourself.

[totallynotbatman]

Duty called, Alfred, you can't fault me for that.

Besides, you aren't really complaining about being left on a boat with ballerinas are you?

[zeroasspats]

We would need a complaint box for me to actually complain, wouldn't we?

[totallynotbatman]

We have a complaint box.

[zeroasspats]

[e y e b r o w]

Where?

[totallynotbatman]

In the mansion.

[hippie_shifter]

A big smile. "There's something good to be said for doing a humble job very well, though."

sob that is the best username

[adapted]

I doubt there's anything simple about being a butler at Wayne Manor, Mr. Pennyworth.

patsnoasses was too messy - also fyi i haven't seen the new one (spoilers okay of course)

[zeroasspats]

The butler, madam; I wouldn't be a butler if there were two of us.

Have we met?

oh well asdfkjkdjf i will do my best to tiptoe

[adapted]

True. My mistake. You're kind of famous with the other maids, after all, and, well -

That's me, sir. I'm just one of the maids. Relatively new.

it's totally fine, no need to tiptoe :)

[zeroasspats]

[This is extremely endearing.]

"Just one of the maids?" [Oh girl.] I do hope you're not under the impression I don't learn people's names, madam.

:>

[adapted]

[Don't you 'oh girl' her, Alfred Pennyworth. It's twice as hard to sell a lie when you aren't sure when and where people are coming from, okay? Gosh.]

It's just that there are so many of us. It's a true testament to your character if you can actually recognize us individually.

[How long does she have to keep this up again?]

[zeroasspats]

[How can anyone lie to Alfred Pennyworth in the first place, he's too badass for that.]

Then I suppose I'll just come out and ask: [since you're being coy for whatever reason] might I have the honor of your name, since we'll be working together at some point?

[adapted]

[She's sizing him up, though doing so in a very doe-eyed fashion. How much of a liar is he?]

I was... honestly kind of expecting you to know already. [She laughs, a small, musical series of notes.] Amelia. It's a pleasure.

[Well, she'll know in a moment, anyway.]

[zeroasspats]

[How does one size up a man like Alfred? Does he need to give her an hour or two to her own?]

I've yet to get out very much, I'm afraid. The pleasure is all mine, Amelia.

[Girl you don't look like an Amelia. Maybe a Mia, but not an Amelia.]

[adapted]

[A moment, maybe. You are kind of tall, Alfred.]

There are enough of us now that maybe you can afford to take a day or two off. I'm sure you must have someplace to go in mind.

[Who knows who or what she is, really? Maybe she is crown princess of a faraway land. Maybe she's a crazy cat burglar out to steal the family jewels. Who's to say?]

[battle_meditating]

Everyone is interesting, it's just a matter of finding what makes them so, sir.

[zeroasspats]

Of that, I am quite certain, madam.

For the purposes of myself and this "mundane," however, I would like to be as droll as possible.

[battle_meditating]

I'm not sure that will be possible. Obviously there was something that brought you to you mundanes attention that isn't so easily concealed.

[zeroasspats]

Obviously.

Mum's the word, however, I believe is a good thing in this case.

[battle_meditating]

Of course, can't give away all of our secrets, can we?

You seem like an interesting enough man though, and I'm sure you'll have a difficult time of getting rid of your mundane. I wish you luck in the endeavor though.

[zeroasspats]

Some of us has more secrets than others, it seems.

[Okay, fine, he smiles. Just this once.]

Thank you for that, madam.

[battle_meditating]

Indeed.

[Bastila returns the smile, surprisingly.]

You are welcome.

[wing_of_night]

Alfred, you're nowhere near simple. You're a lot more than just anything.

[zeroasspats]

[Oh no, who is this, there's all this DC live action, DC animated, DC comics and he can't contain it all he's just some old guy all right he's not capable of getting down with the kids. Or the sickness.]

I'm supposing I ought to take that as a compliment, sir.

[wing_of_night]

[Dick peels off the mask.]

Considering how you contributed a lot to raising me and maintained your sanity? I would think so.

[zeroasspats]

[(unsure)

sir do you need to go to Arkham Alfred could make a call for you]

Ah, right. Well...no, I'm afraid I've no idea who you are, sir. I hope that doesn't disappoint or offend.

[wing_of_night]

It's alright, Alfred. It's... complicated. See, I'm from a world parallel to yours. In my world, my parents were gunned down when our circus refused to pay protection money. Bruce was in the audience, and rather than just let me rot in the foster family system, he took me in. I found the cave, spent some time as Batman's side kick, and now I've got my own city that I protect.

You were the grandfather I never had.

[her_watchdog]

In my experience, any butler who says such a thing is anything but.

[zeroasspats]

[Oh no. He's talking about butlers and his collar needs straightening, WHAT DO]

I'd think that a poor one, considering you must have seen many butlers to know such things from real experience.

[her_watchdog]

A few, yes. Many of whom have something to hide.