dear_mun | homeless, not looking, a few days post-movie.

[ Man, you know what he shouldn't be doing? He definitely shouldn't be doing that thing where he's here and she's sad already and he wants to talk to her even if that's wrong, completely wrong, way out of what he should be doing. Ha ha promises he can't keep, and at the time it was witty but they were in a classroom full of people and it wasn't really talking to her so much as talking...at her? Talking at her. And it's still not all that long ago that it was a dark night and he made that promise, he did, and it's - it's no good.

...maybe she won't notice him if he just hangs out over here very quietly. ]

[ Endures this indignity for as long as humanly possible, which is two minutes, before remarking casually: ]

Peter, I can see you.

[ Without looking at him. But hey, she's deigning to talk to him now. Progress, right? ]

[ He doesn't start, he may be Peter Parker and kind of a loser but he doesn't start at the sound of her voice, nor does he flail, alright, but he might kind of make a quick nervous motion that he has to check before it becomes either of those things. ]

Oh - oh yeah, obviously, right? [ He spreads his hands in a gesture that might be a haha what do you do if it weren't stopped early as well, hands dropped before one rises to fiddle with his sleeve. ] I mean uh - hi. Gwen.

[ Takes a short, sharp breath. Turns on her heel to face him. Her smile is a little tight, but she manages it. ]

Hi.

[ ... ]

So. Breaking any promises, lately?

[ Ouch. ]

No. [ Wait, she basically knows about that promise and he did allude to it in class didn't he. ] Well. Yes, yeah, I guess so. I mean uh - being here.

[ GESTURES....AT....HIMSELF....HERE WITH HER. ]

[ Looks down at his hand. Looks back up at his face.

...

Somewhat despite herself, her expression softens. God, he has such a dumb face, and she likes it so much. ]

Maybe he was right. Maybe we, um. [ ... winces. ] God, Peter, I was looking for you. I thought you hadn't- but let me guess. You were there, weren't you? Somewhere out of sight. At the funeral. Right?

[ There is absolutely no pleading note to her voice here. None, just ... none whatsoever. ]

[ No no no no, come on, she can't do that thing where she looks at him like that because it just makes him want to - hnn. ]

I. [ God, it's hard not to wince too. He looks down at his feet, scuffed shoes with some of the fresher marks from exciting stories he can't tell Aunt May and he can't tell Gwen and he can't tell anyone. He breathes in once, breathes out, counts down from five in his head, looks up. ] Look, your dad knew what he was talking about.

[ He was right, and then he bled to death, and that's what became of Peter's not alone. ]

Edited 2012-08-06 05:58 (UTC)

[ Bites her lip. ]

You crawled into my window-- bleeding--

I saw him at Oscorp, you know. Dr. Connors. He saw me. I-- you know, I tried lighting him on fire, and nothing happened and he ... he didn't do anything. He just took the device and left.

[ Takes another breath. ]

And you know, it was my decision to stay at Oscorp. And to hit Dr. Connors over the head with that trophy. And-- and even let you in my room when you were... like that.

You know, at what point do I get a say in it? About all this. I know that my dad knew what he was talking about. It was his job to know. [ Was. Knew. All this past tense is making her ill. ] But what's-- what's my job, Peter? Sitting here and letting you and him protect me? Well I'm not-- I'm not going to just stop! So... so there's ... yeah. I...

[ She shuts her eyes. ]

Edited 2012-08-06 06:13 (UTC)

I didn't -

[ have anywhere else to go, and it's true but he doesn't say it, stops short and tries something else. ]

You know how it is with Aunt May, after - everything. [ after Uncle Ben, even after his parents, and she does know and understand now much better than he would've ever wanted her to. ] I couldn't - you know I couldn't just go back there like that, she'd see and...

[ Flicks his gaze down again and then back up, meets her eyes for a moment before changing again, breathes out a long breath that manages to avoid being a sigh. ]

I know, I know. You're right, I'm sorry. [ sorrier than she knows maybe, and certainly sorrier than he'll ever be able to articulate. ] You did really good, we all would've been -

[ He almost, almost has to bite back a smile and there's something warm that slips in his voice despite himself, almost a laugh. ]

- we would've been in a lot of trouble without what you did.

[ And in another time, he might've mimed lizardmen roaming the streets, because see Gwen you saved us all from being a really bad B-rated horror film, think about that.

He tries to meet her eyes again - but they're shut of course so he settles for at least looking at her directly this time. ]

But you've gotta stay out of this stuff. This time, you got out alright, but - you have to listen.

[ Her eyes stay shut against the tide. It's threatening to draw her in, draw her out to sea with him where she'll be lost forever--

But she thinks, maybe, she's already lost. That the last time she ever felt safe was when she heard Get in the car and she did so and her father was still alive and somehow everything might still be okay.

But she will never feel safe again. That was an illusion, she knows that now, she watched it crumble before her into so much dust. It's never going to be okay. And maybe if it's never going to be okay, she should at least try to be happy. Right? Happy and dead. Or miserable and alive. What choices.

When she opens her eyes again, it's because she remembers that she's the only one that knows. Maybe she's not the one being pulled out into an unknown sea, here.

She wants to touch him so badly she takes a step toward him, but that is all she does. ]

I am listening. I've been doing -- a lot of listening lately. So, so many people saying they're sorry. People I've never met, people I've never heard of. Is that what it's going to be like when this happens to you, Peter?

[ No, no, dammit, she was doing so well holding the emotions at bay but her father is dead and her world is shattered into a million pieces, and the tears come. ]

Or, no, obviously that's not what happens, because no one knows it was you and you're just in a gutter somewhere, or--

[ Living every day not knowing if her father would come home. That was her life. Living every day not knowing if she'll see Peter in the hallway the next morning is her new life. And she just breaks down and wraps her arms around him and cries into his shoulder, the way she wanted to the day of the funeral when he wasn't there. ]

[ Does he think about it? He thinks about it. He doesn't think about it. How can he not think about it.

How can he not?

Only it's - if he did, if he really did, he wouldn't be able to do it. He tries so hard to make sure Aunt May doesn't know but of course she knows something's happening though God only knows what she thinks, maybe that he gets into like gang fights or something, isn't that a joke. And she can take care of herself but who would bring the eggs when she needs them, or who'd remember to get the light in that one closet before the bulb burns out because she always always forgets and leaves it on, who'd fiddle with the water heater when it's finicky, it's just - no one, right?

But at the same time he can't be normal, and at first he couldn't sit by because if he sat by the clock was ticking and Uncle Ben's murderer was getting further and further away, but after that, after the time on the bridge with the little kid who would've died if he weren't there, it was something else. Maybe there are other incidents where people die or get hurt and hey, this crazy guy who isn't with the police or anything, maybe he can do something about it. And Connors, that was personal because he created the monster Connors became, handed over his dad's formula like it was nothing, no big deal, not the reason - maybe the reason? - he wasn't raised by his parents at all. That was personal and that was responsibility and that was his own mistake that no one else should've paid for.

Only they did, of course they did. ]

Hey.

[ He puts his arms around her like it's natural because it is, like it's not something he shouldn't be doing but please Mr Stacy, just understand for a minute. ]

Hey, hey, come on Gwen. [ It's bracing, more lighthearted than he feels. ] That's not gonna happen. You're still listening, right? There's no way it's gonna happen. Most guys don't even know what they're doing, they can't even get in ten feet of me.

[ "Most" is definitely stretching it, but it's not like he'll ever tell. ]

Edited 2012-08-06 07:35 (UTC)

Most guys. [ Her voice is a little thick. Still, the implication is clear: Dr. Connors wasn't most guys, and you still crawled in my window looking like you lost a fight with a thresher.

After a moment or two of crying it out, and waging a fierce internal debate over whether or not it's okay to like hugging him so much, she pulls back enough to rub fingers below her eyes. She is better than tears. Stronger than tears. She needs to be stronger than tears, anyway. The more she breaks down and cries, the more it will seem like she needs protecting, and she doesn't want that. She wants to help.

She takes yet another breath in, sighs out hard. Pulls away from him further, and fixes him with a somewhat steely look. ]

I'm still listening. But I'm not sure you are. Can I just ask you one thing? [ A beat. ] What do you want? Not my father, you.

[ He half-shrugs, mouth twisting a little. ]

Most guys. You know, when they're not giant lizard men. And - and you should've seen the other guy.

[ The mostly unscathed other guy but you know, if he can coax out a smile he'll try to do it. It's easier to linger there than on the hard things, questions with no answers and dead ended equations, empty alleyways and voicemails left by the dead.

He'll let go as she pulls away, as easily as if he never held her at all, scuffs his shoe on the ground a little and raises a hand to the back of his neck like he doesn't know what to do with it. He meets her gaze as she asks the question, but - he doesn't, okay, he doesn't look away immediately this time but there's something almost imperceptible in the way the humor fades out, lips turning into a line and eyes turning quieter.

He wants - he wants, wow, doesn't he want a lot of things? He wants the dead and lost to return - or no, never be dead or lost to start with - and he wants to fix the mistakes he made or at least, God, the things he should've said, people he should've stopped and there are a lot of those. What he wants? To not, not - not do this. ]

What I want? [ His eyebrows go up, a little wry, a little uncertain, a lot - okay a lot of those two. ] I want - really?

[ He just. He rubs a hand over his face. ]

After everything, you're asking what I want?

Edited 2012-08-07 06:39 (UTC)

[ Fixing him with a Look, one of those penetrating Gwen looks that he probably recognizes as being able to see right through him, and lifting her chin by a few degrees. ]

Is that not important now? I mean, I thought it was, you know, pretty up there. What we actually want. Instead of what we're supposed to want.

[ That gets a mental wince, if nothing else. ]

Is that what you think? Because - because I don't know, I sure didn't want Dr Connors to become a psycho lizard guy attacking New York, that wasn't really on my to do list. Or - or, hey, finding out about what my parents were doing only because I helped clean up some old stuff, that's definitely what I've been looking for.

[ He makes a frustrated gesture, but the more he talks, the closer he gets to a precipice, dangerously close to just saying that he's sad too or unsure where to go from here at all. ]

You know, or, or when I was looking for Uncle Ben's killer and kept find all these - these guys, did I ever mention that part? Because that's not what I wanted either, it wasn't even close.

[ She just watches him, with that same concerned look she always gives him, infinitely patient, deep down fond, and a touch understanding.

The flood gates are opening, she can see that. But... ]

So... that's it? Responsibility first? For ... ever? [ She doesn't look or sound mad. She understands that, really. She's a practical girl with an eye toward the future. ]

If that's the case, then tell me why you said that. What you said in class.

[ That stops him short, pushes him from anger to helplessness in under three seconds flat.

Because it was true. Because he can't imagine seeing her every day and, really? Keeping everything cut off? Not even looking her way for fear of - what?

No, he knows the answer to that, and he's never going to forget it. But still, still, still, it's hard. Funnily enough, the confrontation at his door - rejecting her, denying her, refusing her answers and making her leave - that was the easy part. The hard part is shutting down every impulse to look her way or talk to her. ]

Because...because...I don't know.

[ Quietly: ]

Don't do this to me. Okay? Don't get my hopes up and then not ... do anything.

[ There's a long, long quiet moment.

It could be described with a lot of words, but it's actually very simple, because it keeps coming back to this: two dark nights, two different sets of circumstances, two very very preventable deaths on his hands, in his hands, two funerals, and he can't look at her without remembering.

So he doesn't, and remembers anyway. ]

Responsibility first.

[ She opens her mouth to speak, doesn't, then shuts up definitively. There are tears in her eyes, because it hurts, and she wants to be so mad at him and can't because he was crying the time he first told her no, and she's acutely aware this is breaking his heart too.

But that's wrong. Isn't it? Staying away when they care so much. It's going to be so awkward. It's been so awkward. She knows he's tempted to break his promise and she feels awful for wanting to push him. She's practical. She's smart. She's Gwen. She should do the smart thing and walk away.

But then again, she also does the impulsive thing. The dangerous thing. The thing that puts her life at risk. Like waltzing back into Oscorp even when she knew she might not come back out.

She walked in knowing she might not walk out because she believed she would. Because she believed in Peter. ]

Then take responsibility.

[ Strides up to him, puts her hands on his face, and kisses him.

He can't just take responsibility selectively. In a way that masquerades as honorable. He's got her heart with him, now. And he has to take responsibility for that, too. He can't just throw it away because he's scared. ]

I'm surprised you have not encountered the version of Parker from my world. I would think he'd be interested to see you.

[ Stares. Straightens. The police captain's daughter will be presentable, alright. Still, puzzled. ]

I'm -- version? What does that mean, another version of Peter?

[Erik doesn't mind the proper poise being given to a ruler of a nation.]

I am from a world parallel to your own. Where I am from, a madman by the handle of 'The Green Goblin' found out who Spider-Man was, and did what any maniac would do; he went after his loved ones.

As I recall, the Goblin took you to the top of a tall building and as Parker approached, threw you off. He tried saving you, of course, but when he did you were dead.

My children knew him, and said he was never sure whether the jerk from the webbing snapped your neck or if the Goblin did so before throwing you off the building.

[ Wow Gwen maybe stuff like this is why he made that promise to your dad and is awkwardly avoiding you now just saying. Listen to the alternate world strange dude he understands. ]

[ darnit peter using alternate world tragic history to prove a point is just cheating ]

[ Trying to make it stay alternate okay!!!!! ]

[For the record, he is not an 'alternate world strange dude.' He is alternate world mutant of the highest caliber and ruler of a small nation... which is currently in ruins. And who's just going to be floating off to the side watching these two in their nonverbal conversation.]

Edited 2012-08-07 05:54 (UTC)

[ JUST

FLAILS A HAND?

NO THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE CHEATING, OKAY. It will stay alternate alright she guarantees it!! WITH BUNSEN BURNER POWER IF NECESSARY.

Alternate strange world dude don't go assisting my superheroic sort-of-kind-of-ex-not-ex-boyfriend with being an angst machine, okay ]

[ ....he's Peter Parker did you really expect him not to be an angst machine.

Really. ]

[Oh, that's the least of his Spidey's angst problems. Y'know... what with the whole deal with the Devil. Also, are you two quite done yet?]

[ NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO GOD, DON'T GIVE HIM MORE FODDER THIS IS TERRIBLE. ]

[ WE CAN BE DONE THAT CAN BE A THING

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MORE FODDER GWEN ]

[ EXCUSE ME NO WE CAN'T BE DONE WE ARE NOT DONE HERE PETER PARKER ]

[Yeah, just ask Erik about the whole 'sacrifice your marriage to give your elderly aunt a couple more years max.' Good deal, huh?]

[ Gapes, before she can stop herself. For a moment, she is torn between just walking away from the crazy guy, and.... ]

This is like... science fiction, right? Alternate universes and evil twins and... you're serious. You're really serious about this.

[ Once she realizes her mouth is still hanging open slightly, she closes it with a snap, a click of teeth. ]

... who are you?

I wish I were talking about fiction...

[He reaches into a pocket as he speaks.]

I am known by many names... Erik Lensherr, Magnus, Erik the Red, but most prominently, Magneto; Master of Magnetism.

[He turns his hand palm up, revealing a handful of steel ball bearings that float upward and begin orbiting each other like electrons orbiting an atom.]

[ Her eyes widen.

For a moment, at least, before she ducks her head and presses a hand to her face. Her mind is racing. Cutting edge genetics is, was, one thing. Oscorp has been pushing the boundaries on the science for years, now. That's become part of her normal, everyday life. Peter became part of her normal, everyday life, too, with his costume and his bizarre, fantastic powers, what she realized quickly was the ultimate realization of Dr. Connors' ambitions, though not quite in the way he would have hoped, she's sure.

She saw the Lizard, too. She saw a lot of unbelievable things.

But it all stemmed from the world as she knew it, logical processes that led in predictable if unconventional directions. Nothing that's occurred has been outside of the realm of possibility as she'd understood it.

And this just takes one big step outside that realm and shatters it totally. She's watching ball bearings float, and apparently this man is doing it. This man, who says she is killed in some alternate universe, where someone or something called The Green Goblin wants her dead or Peter devastated or both.

She's only been silent for a moment, and slowly her gaze travels upward again. Her mouth works, and all that comes out is: ]

... how?

Evolution, my dear. Your people have branded mine 'mutants' though I prefer Homo-Sapiens Superior. We are the latest step in the evolutionary ladder in the genetic mutations that give us our powers. Each mutant has powers unique to them. One of my closest friends can change her appearance to mimic anything she wants, while another of my closest friends can read minds and even alter a person's thoughts should he choose.

In our world we are feared for what we are, hated even. We have been given our gifts to help the world survive, and our reward? Entire governments trying to segregate and oppress us.

... on that large a scale? That fast? That's-- really rapid, for--

[ Shuts up again. It's hardly like she has no training in genetics. What he says makes sense in a sort of way, but... it couldn't be a recent phenomenon. Evolution just doesn't work that way. Then again, it depends on their numbers, and-- ]

I'm really sorry, sir, about what's happened to you, but ... can you tell me more? [ There's a spark of curiosity, here. Burning. Maybe it's not appropriate, but she wants to learn. She'll try to be respectful along the way, though. ]

homeless, not looking, a few days post-movie.

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pretend i have an icon for this

nope you suck

rude

truth

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This is hilarious. :3

lol right

we're serious rpers for sure

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