homeless. not safe for ... life.

[snoogans]

So wait, let me get this shit straight.  You're shelling out bitches to games all over town at this fucking squarefest ATP bullshit, but you can't even slap my name up on an ad that says "Will app for pussy"?   That's like... [ give him a sec to count it out on his fingers ]   five fucking words!  What, are you too fucking stuck-up for me now?  After all I've done for you?

That's cold.  I always knew chicks on the internet were too good to be true.  You bitches are all the same.  Promise a guy you'll get him a new game, or that you'll suck his cock off if he gives you some weed, and then the second you turn around, bam, they're sucking off some other dude.   

My balls are so fucking blue over here I look like one of those furries in that fucking James Cameron piece of bullshit.  

Comments

[reallywicked]

Pretty sure no one cares about the state of your balls.

[snoogans]

Are you kidding? The boys've got their own Twitter and all the fly honeys are following their every move. BOING.

[checkoutthesedecks]

Fuck dude, can't step in the internet without drowning in pussy.

[snoogans]

Yeah, that's what it says on the can, but it's all just pictures and shit.

[checkoutthesedecks]

Looks like the real pussies are the bronies, am I right?

[snoogans]

What the fuck is a bronie?

[checkoutthesedecks]

Just think furries, but with those fucking ponies.

[snoogans]

Dude, I saw one of those fucked up donkey shows once. Is it like that shit?

[checkoutthesedecks]

Yeah, but worse.

[snoogans]

... That's sick.

[checkoutthesedecks]

You have no fucking idea, dude. Just don't go on the internet.

Heh Jay!

[immunized]

Sounds like a personal problem to me.

:D stoner muses unite...

[snoogans]

Of course it's a fucking personal problem, shit for brains. That's why I'm the one complaining.

Hell yes! :)

[immunized]

You need to calm the fuck down.

You're not the only one your mun voices. If anything, be happy she picked you up and don't go around acting like you're the only one. You sound like a possessive ex boyfriend.

Do I like that I'm pretty much being puppeted? NO. But at least I'm not the only one, and it's a hell of a lot better being in my mun's head than the alternative.

[snoogans]

If the alternative's hanging around wild and munfree, sign me the fuck up. I don't need some bitch telling me what to do and when to do it. I'm my own man. It's the 21st fucking century!

oh my god this is the best

[latetowork]

Don't diss chicks on the Internet. It gets better, I promise.

LMAO oh my god neo yes.

[snoogans]

Yeah? Better how? [ tell him about the latex, neo ]

I HAD NO ONE BETTER

[latetowork]

Better in—

[How to say this?]

The kick-butt, sexy way.

he is the best choice, clearly.

[snoogans]

What, like fishnets and with her tits all hanging out and shit?

[viced]

Shit, I hope that cocksucking thing is an analogy. Who does that for weed anyway?

[snoogans]

These high school bitches, man. They say they'll be your girlfriend, but all they're lookin' for is a hookup.

[4touchdowns]

Unkept promises is the first sign. Soon, the girl will turn into a woman and you've no hope left -- [Because she'll suck it right out of you.] -- run now, while you still have your dignity.

[Yes. Dignity.]

[snoogans]

Do I look like someone who gives a fuck about dignity?

[4touchdowns]

No wife, no kids. So.

[Shrug.]

Of course.

[snoogans]

That's because I've still got my whole fucking life ahead of me, holmes. I don't need some bitch crampin' my style. That shit ages you faster than heroin.

Just look at your bald ass.

[luckier]

Shit. That's some rubbish, mate. At least yours isn't a fucking cocktease all the time. She keeps reserving me and then pussying out of it. What the fuck? It's like she's ashamed or something.

[snoogans]

You and me both, hombre. Must be we're just too much man for these chicks, you know what I mean?

[luckier]

Or they're lesbians. I could be that, too. But no, no, it gets worse. I finally get to a game, and it's some post-apocalyptic 99 percent of the world is dead shit. There are only ten girls left in the entire world or something. I mean, it's inevitable I'll end up fucking at least two of the girls there because of physics, but where's the variety?

[snoogans]

So, what, there ain't even any zombie chicks to keep things interesting?

[luckier]

None! What's the point of having an apocalypse if there aren't going to be any zombie girls to shag?

[snoogans]

Hate to break it to you, but you got played, holmes.