Rereading "The Hobbit," gained an unlikely muse

[oakenshield]

"Pompous?"

[ The foul look upon the Dwarf King's face says it all. Taken by a fell mood today, one sparked by this woman's bantering, Thorin glares hotly at his "mun" with great contempt. ]

You would dare describe me, King of Erebor, as "pompous"?

[ If he could only spit fire right now---]

You're a rude one, aren't you? I've been described by historians and scribes alike as "brave" and "powerful", but never "pompous". I'm almost quite incline to take your comment as a direct insult made on faceless lie for I know I'm hardly as pompous as the Elvenking. He is the kind to bray needlessly like a mere donkey, not I. Mayhap it would be for the best if you finished your research first before damning my name and legacy with your idle comments.

[ Feeling quite vindicated now, Thorin picks up his pipe and smokes in peace. ]

Comments

[keeps_count]

I would advise that you dull your tongue when speaking of a fellow king. Perhaps your mundane is accurate in her claim that you are pompous, King Under the Mountain.

[oakenshield]

[ Just when he thought he would get some peace long enough to finish his pipe, that blasted word is said again and this time spewed from elven lips. Turning around to cast a shadowy glare on the young Prince of Mirkwood, Thorin almost snarls at him in rage. ]

Quite a greeting to receive from Thranduil's "spawn" but I wouldn't have expected anything less.

[ He puffs out some smoke in Legolas' direction before turning away. ]

[smileandasong]

I'm sure your mundane meant no harm by it.

OMG~!!!! SNOW WHITE!

[oakenshield]

Hmph. So you claim.

[ That's all you're going to get out of this grumpy Dwarf King. He's quite livid with his mun but in all truth, he's actually more embarrassed than livid. ]

[keeps_count]

[The elf simply waves the smoke away without looking too irritated.]

It is advise from an heir to a king. Especially considering the honor my father gave you by placing Orcrist on your place of burial himself.

[oakenshield]

[ Now, normally Thorin is well revered for his poise and grace with words but nothing in this world or the next could've prepared him for that comment. Just when he was breathing in the fumes of his pipe, Legolas obviously states a dramatic "bombshell" of a spoiler in hopes of making him choke on the smoke.

Well, it seems he got his wish.

The pipe slipped from Thorin's lips as he began gasping for air. A few haggard coughs followed suit along with a "Gods be good!" in-between. Once the flow of oxygen was restored to his now aching lungs, Thorin simply stares at the elf as if he grown an extra head and eyes. ]

...Are you mad? He would never!

<3

[smileandasong]

Well, why would she?

❤❤❤

[oakenshield]

This, mundane, as you call her, shows great favoritism towards the hobbit and seems to show nothing but impish contempt for me. Yet, what I cannot understand is her willingness to drag me here and insult me in public.

[ He huffs in annoyance. Thorin is obviously displeased. ]

Surely there must be some sort of reason for her madness.

[keeps_count]

You do not know my ada as well as you seem to think that you do.

[Oops. No regrets.]

Allow me to apologize however. I refuse to let the ridiculous quarrel between elves and dwarves continue, especially after Gimli and I have become great friends.

[oakenshield]

No, it would seem I do not know the Elvenking well at all.

[ While he could dispute this alleged fact by claiming it's a "lie", Thorin knows better than to do so considering that he doubt an elf would ever lie about something like that. As much as he hates to admit it, the elves are sometimes more honorable than dwarves. ]

Aye, aye. The feud has gone long enough, has it? Tell me, how many years has it been since I passed?

[keeps_count]

Perhaps you will have the opportunity, sometime in the future, to remedy that.

[Legolas would agree with that.]

It has, indeed. By my time, the Fourth Age, it has been near of one hundred and fifty years. Perhaps closer to two hundred.

[oakenshield]

[ Still somewhat reeling from the earlier surprise, Thorin merely nods as he takes up the pipe again. Please don't make him choke on it again, you crafty elf. ]

If the opportunity arrives, I shall gladly take it but for now, I am content in knowing that the end of this feud has come.

[ He sighs deeply. ]

Two-hundred years have passed? Hm, I'm surprised I'm all but forgotten by now.

[feministe]

If the comment is not true, why do you take such offense?

[oakenshield]

It's an unwarranted slander against my good name! Why shouldn't I take offense to such?

[ No, deep down inside he knows he's quite "pompous" at times. ]

[keeps_count]

[But that was kind of fun!]

Things are still tense, on occasion, but it has gotten better.

[Legolas smiles ever so slightly.]

Your halls remain inhabited and Thorin Stonehelm rules it now, if I am not mistaken.

[squeak_squeaker]

[What a tiny little man! Kronk had never seen anyone so short before... and that included Emperor Kuzco.]

Your beard's great, Your Highness! [Fancy people liked compliments, even a simple young man like Kronk knew that.]

[feministe]

If your name is as good as you claim, you should not feel the need to defend it so fiercely, monsieur.

[ It's okay. She likes pompous people. As the embodiment of France, pompous is sort of what she does. ]

[oakenshield]

[ The Dwarven King furrows his brows and gives the tall woman a mighty scowl before answering. It seems that he's being talked into a fence here. ]

Nay, I disagree. Had I possessed very little care for both the value of my name and the weight of my status, the people would take heed of this slanderer's words.

[oakenshield]

[ MIND YOURSELF, CHURL! This "tiny little man" happens to be son of Thráin II and the grandson of King Thrór. He is both the King under the Mountain and the King of Durian's Folk.

In sort, he's a very important dwarf. Very. ]

...[ He offers this giant of a man a wary glance. ] You have my thanks, I suppose.

[oakenshield]

[For YOU it was, naughty elf. ]

Stonehelm?

[ A pensive gaze now lingers within those world-weary blue eyes. The Great King of the Dwarves must look quite humble now and for good reason. He has no need for arrogance here. ]

A fitting name for a future king. Although, I doubt his rule shall be a peaceful one for such reigns rarely come.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was probably Kronk son of Kronk son of Kronk son of Kronk, all the way back to the stone age. You know it's true! But he was definitely not a King... just Yzma's side of beefcake loyal manservant.]

You're welcome! Gee... and your clothes are all fuzzy looking too. [Could he hug this little King guy? He looked very huggable! But everything looked huggable to Kronk, it wasn't personal.]

[feministe]

[ What an angry little man. Reminds her of a certain Englishman. Simone chuckles all the same. ]

Only if there was truth to be found in said words. You do nothing but justify the claims when you do nothing but dispute them. Why not juste let such things go, monsieur?

[oakenshield]

[ This strange giant is welcomed to try to hug Thorin, that is as long as he manages to keep the dwarf's sword-hand away from the hilt of the fabled Orcrist. However, that's a feat rarely succeeded. ]

This is merely because of the rabbit fur I wear upon the collar of my cloak.

[oakenshield]

[ He's not little! Thorin is actually taller than most dwarves but still shorter than humans. ]

I'm not justifying anything! [ His temper is finally flaring. ] I'm merely stating the truth!

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk wasn't much of a warrior, Thorin. He was kinda squeamish and he preferred baking and playing exotic bird bingo to fighting people! Kronk was a gentle, childlike soul trapped in a very large body.]

It's all amazing! I wonder how I'd look with a rabbit fur collar. Probably handsome. [That was just a wild guess, though. Maybe it'd look terrible!]