lastvoyages

[tatty_bye]

Let us not mince words over what happened with the snow globe, my dear mundane. Clearly it was not enough to get me off this ship with my immortality intact, but beyond that? I suppose I couldn't call it a complete waste of my time. After all, it would appear that some of my old hair colour has begun to come back.

Those are the trifles of Heroism, you know. One or many deeds of a debatable nature, and there goes eons of proper hair and skin care. Right out the window. And then what am I to do? I can perhaps admit that before the Barge I let myself go just a smidgeon. But it is such a bother to keep such things balanced when you've got factories to run. With the exorbitant demands of my King, a country that needed me, when was I to find time to perform a subtle "good" deed?

It is not like the old days. I might have even been praised for providing a job to every vagabond that wandered into Bloodstone. I married and made happy many a wife -- oh don't look at me like that. Whatever higher power governs what acts are good and evil back in my world has always thought it a greater sin to divorce rather than to kill, and who was I to argue with the will of Avo? Throw a wife overboard to escape a krakken, and I'm perfectly fine once I've paid my deckhands their wages. Divorce her, and I'm covering streaks of black in my hair and spending my days in constant sunshine to combat the ill effects. 

It had simply been my good fortune that dark-haired and pallid are such fashionable things among the Bowerstone elite, but then I am a masterpiece regardless of the colour palette, n'est pas?

I will admit that I did so miss having blue eyes.

Comments

[youwillgotohell]

You were blond and blue eyed? [The hell is your world, Reaver.]

[tatty_bye]

Blond hair? [a chortle] Gracious, no! Brunette, actually. Warm chestnut, I think one book described it. One of the few details that author got right -- shameful, really. You'd think they would know better.

[youwillgotohell]

And that changed...how, precisely?

[tatty_bye]

The burden of Heroes where I come from, though I understand no such people exist in other worlds, so I should clarify I mean Heroes and not heroes, a title afforded persons who have done some great deed to the benefit of those around him.

Or her.

I, for one, only know as much as I need to, but to shorten a dreadfully long tale, that has very little mention of me in it: Our capabilities and our deeds are often -- [chuckle] -- as the saying goes, plain as the noses on our faces.

If we've plain noses, anyhow. I suffer no such disadvantage.

[youwillgotohell]

And your deeds turned your hair and eyes dark.

[Welp. That says awful things, she thinks. Was she predisposed to being the villain because she's dark haired and pale skinned, because that sucks. 8|]

[tatty_bye]

Oh, it could be much worse.

My hair could have thinned, and I could have grown horns and lost the whites of my eyes.

...How ghastly.

[youwillgotohell]

You must have been very lucky.

[tatty_bye]

Or very diligent.

[youwillgotohell]

Has your appearance always been so important to you?

[tatty_bye]

Are you asking me if I think myself vain, your majesty?

[youwillgotohell]

Something like that.

[tatty_bye]

Then I am at something of a standstill. I either admit that I take the time to look after my physical appearance and be known as a man self-absorbed, or I say that I do not and find myself prostrate awaiting accusations of false modesty.

Very well -- I shall say only that all persons should think themselves beautiful and give myself over to your mercy, my queen.

[youwillgotohell]

A very good answer. You'd have a world in which your only judge is yourself.

[tatty_bye]

As it should be, I believe.

[youwillgotohell]

It's a pretty dream, but it isn't reality.

[decrees]

"Exorbitant," Reaver?

[He really shouldn't be surprised, but you never stop talking, do you?]

You certainly could have done a better job.

[Did you see the treasury? It was pitiful, Reaver.]

[tatty_bye]

Now now, your highness -- I gave you precisely what you wished. And do you object to the use of the word? There was much to prepare for, was there not?

[decrees]

There was. We were still ill prepared.

[See, Logan, it's a good thing your sibling took the throne! You would have failed horribly! c: ]

[tatty_bye]

My factories were ever at your disposal, majesty. I could only produce as per your directions.

It is prudent to accept that industry would not have stemmed the tide of darkness sweeping across our shores. Her Majesty the Queen must have been quite clever and charitable. I understand the royal accounts to some certain extent, and knowing the cost of the proposals that came before her -- the social programs, the restorations, the lowering of taxes, the opening of schools and colonization...

I am certain we ought to have met that final hour with considerable loss of life, but as I recall, there were reports of not a single casualty.

[decrees]

You've already faced it?

[...He doesn't even know if his sister decided to let him live or die so uh... whoops...]

She managed to save all of Albion? That's... that's amazing.

[...Just ignore this stupid not-smiling, it isn't aimed at you. Just let him be proud of his sister for a moment, alright!]

...I take it she didn't let you build that whorehouse, then.

[tatty_bye]

Only leaving me an excuse to make plans for new construction, naturally. As for the darkness -- I faced it, in a sense.

[He may or may not have made it back to Bloodstone on time? But that's still up in the air. Silly barge magic.]

Take it from me, your majesty: Heroes in your family -- they do seem to have such good fortune. Your mother was equally charmed.

[decrees]

That's good to hear. It would have been shame if you had run.

[You are the Hero of Skill, after all! ...Anyway, that's enough stroking your ego for the next four years, moving on!]

Apparently so. She did save the world from Lucien.

[Not that she told him all the details, of course...]

[tatty_bye]

...She did play a substantial part, yes. [Apparently the fact that Lucien monologued for too long and Reaver just finally shot him didn't leave the spire. He can't be too sore about it. This still never would have happened if Sparrow hadn't intervened.]

[And yes he totally DID run]

[decrees]

[Oh please, like his mother would have given you any credit after you tried to kill her?]

Am I to assume you played a larger role than she let on?

[...Reaver....]

[tatty_bye]

It is as they say in theatre, highness: there are no small parts, merely small actors.