dear_mun | olympics squeeage, voice rehab continues

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canon: hetalia

olympics squeeage, voice rehab continues

There is nothing outlandish about our hospitality house in London having a ski festival, of course. I am not quite sure why you feel a reason to giggle.

Of course it's the end of July. And yes, there are yodeling and thigh-slapping classes. If there's something wrong with those, I'm not aware of it.

Why are you laughing?

You're supposed to be doing your canon-review or however you treat your history books these days. I would like to suggest that actually getting past the Babenburg phase would be quite more profitable than re-reading Mary Poppins and drawing my colleague floating down the sky in a top hat.

No, really. My sense of taste is quite intact, I assure you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Taking a break from the big event, England finds himself over here. He's rather chuffed about that opening ceremony, actually.]

Pardon me, but I must agree with your mundane on this matter. At the least, there's certainly nothing wrong with doing both!

So what you are saying is, you find being seen floating down the sky in a top hat entirely acceptable.

[He gives England this look that says 'that explains a lot'. And by the way, his mundane thinks it's the bestest opening ceremony ever organized.]

Just what could you consider unacceptable about it? Can one banish the Dark Lord whilst looking dapper?

[England hardly considers that to be looking ridiculous, and he values his prideful image. Let's not mention the wings and toga. And yes, it was beautiful.]

First, the hat is likely to get blown off during the descent, leading to a waste of resources. Second, umbrellas are not known for their drag-reducing aerodynamic properties.

Third, why would you want to look dapper while battling a hypothetical Dark Lord made out of hot air?

[Austria doesn't judge outfits on a per-item basis; he wore lady blouses with trousers, after all. It's all about context, England, context. Though he doesn't want to talk about the wings and toga, either.]

The hat and umbrella are both given magical properties, of course! Not just any top hat or umbrella will do. What, do you think witches use ordinary brooms?

And well, it's not required, but why would one not want to look dapper at any given time?

[England takes out a top hat... but it appears to float over his head. Even with his slightly casual attire at the moment, he expects it to give off the aura of a gentleman.]

[In the driest of voices.] Ah, magic. Of course. Indeed.

As for your question.....when you're not wearing a set of clothing or in a situation that fits...being dapper, I suppose?

[Really, England, a top hat with casual wear? Even Austria doesn't wear cravats with T-shirts.]

Not to mention the fact that it's floating.

Well, did you expect some other sort of explanation?

A-And I just took that out to show you, of course!

[And the little floating hat disappears back into hyperspace.]

In any case, I encourage your mundane's interest in reading and drawing. And reasearching too, of course.

I was thinking that maybe you've developed a broom-specific jet engine. Although, that probably would be a problem for hats and umbrellas....

And she would appreciate that, I'm sure.

Perhaps you should see them for yourself! I can find one for you, and you could try it. It'll certainly be less ridiculous to you then, ha.

Do you even have any sort of safety regulation for these things?

... Magic, by its very nature, is rather unsafe.

Perhaps a magic safety bureau is in order. But I assure you, I've never been hurt whilst flying before!

[All of those times he's summoned a creature too large for his basement...]

Even ovens have a startling propensity to explode. The unexpected can easily happen, these days.

[That's not an uncommon event for England, but hey, it needs no mentioning either.]

Well, ah, even with that possibility, that doesn't mean one shouldn't cook! ... R-Right?

Of course not. They have no bearing on the eventual taste of the food, in any case, and that's the important part in cooking. [Not in his case, at least. And no, the correlation doesn't quite occur to him. At all.] Getting new ovens so often would be a waste, however.

[... Sigh.]

Between ovens, one could always return to those days where we had naught but sticks, stones, and the scent of the outdoors. And then regain appreciation for ovens.

That would be troublesome. You can't bake cakes with sticks.

[pause]

Although I've never had much problem with the stone and firewood kind, I have to say.

[England has the faintest memory of trying to speak of something, but he can't quite grasp it...]

Aha. Though even without an oven, there's a great deal of convenient food available these days. Chicken tikka masala, all prepared in a matter of a few minutes! O-Of course, it's not quite the same... and it's not like I've resorted to my microwave more often recently or anything!

Of course not. The microwave is such a vulgar invention. Cooking food by shaking it so hard it warms up? Quite preposterous. As if such a process can replace hand cooking. There's nothing to feel but pity for those who need to use it to make something edible, won't you say?

[Derailing the subject is kind of an Austrian speciality...]

[England is rather envious. So many times, he's ended up on a topic he just can't steer away from- it's always a very embarrassing one, too.]

...

You know, salad and other such things are good too. It's not like food needs to be heated by some man-made invention! After all, I have a garden, and I get a good selection of fruits and vegetables from it.

Oh, do be serious, England. Gardening your own vegetables sounds lovely, of course, as well as pleasant on the wallet, but a diet solely consisting of salad would hardly be nourishing. One also needs a steady supply of sausages, and a little sugar would not do anyone evil. For example, are you not at least a little bit pleased that the season of apples is coming, so there can be pies and strudels and everything of the sort?

[.....he likes this subject. Sorry, England.]

[Damn it. There's no escaping.]

Er... indeed, I would very much like a strudel- but if one was to consider emulating the old hunter/gatherer sort of diet, it's not that one couldn't simply eat the apples for sweetness. Of course, we were rather agricultural, so it isn't like we know any of that personally! Except when going on long treks, like voyages into the woods. You ever do such things when you were younger?

[Ah yes, memories of burnt rabbit. This is the worst attempt at another derail.]

Of course I did. Didn't we all? I was a rather poor hunter, however, and did not really have much of a heart to hunt. Swi---others had to do most of the hunting, and then it would be my duty to handle the cooking. To think that smoked meat and rabbit stew was the best we could have in those days! The culinary arts have came a long way, have they not?

[It could've worked, but try harder.]

[Ah, almost...]

Certainly, many more methods of preparing dishes... but even then, we had all of the foods required for the energy needed in a day. No supplements and such. It's a marvel humanity has managed to advance so far, though even our kind can forget at times. Could you imagine, when we were children, when we could not put a name to electricity, that we'd actually reach beyond our planet?

[England's space program is a... bit weak but shhh.]

[Austria has no real space programs to speak of, so um...]

Did you even think of planets at that time? The sky was the sky. I was mostly thinking about flying like a bird, although to be honest, it did not include airport security checkpoints. Mankind has certainly came a long way, even if in some regards it did not change very much. Still as much squabbling as ever, for all the technological advances they've made.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, I suppose.

[Oh good, they're finally not talking about food. Mission accomplished. Hmm... he still thinks he was talking about something at first. Wait, "flying like a bird"? OH. OH OH OH.]

Well, there are other ways, you know...

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sorry for all my slowness orz