on seeing the latest Batman film...

[holyroleplaybatman]

You know, I am sixteen. Even Aunt Harriet lets me go to the movies sometimes. I don't know what could be so upsetting you think Bruce wouldn't want me to see it. Gee, I'm practically a man, now. I'm sure I could handle it. I mean, it's about Gotham, and Batman, and hope, right? And the triumph of the human spirit?

See, I already know how it ends. You're a real party pooper, you know that?

Comments

[hackingyoursensors]

You still say "gee." I'm thinking you should stick with PG or under.

[He says this out of kindness, really.]

[holyroleplaybatman]

Nifty costume! What's PG?

[hackingyoursensors]

Thanks.

You don't know movie ratings? Uh, okay. There's G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17. Basically grades movies get so people know if it's appropriate for kids to watch.

[holyroleplaybatman]

I never heard of that. Wow, it sounds like a great way to make sure kids don't see anything they oughtn't. But I guess I never seen a movie that wasn't okay for kids.

[squeak_squeaker]

But that's almost three times- two times as young as I am and I'm not even a grown up yet! [Kronk failed at thinking.]

Do you get to stay up late?

[holyroleplaybatman]

Gosh, no. I mean, sometimes, when it's a special occasion. Usually I have school in the morning, though.

[squeak_squeaker]

That's important, going to school. I never went and look where it got me! [...not going to say. It wasn't something he was very proud of, being sort of evil.]

From my insane Dick Grayson is Harry Potter AU.

[dickandharry]

Yeah...but it's a little more brutal version of the boss than you're used to.

nice!

[holyroleplaybatman]

Brutal? I can't imagine Br--Batman being brutal.

Re: nice!

[dickandharry]

Your Batman doesn't need to be. Your rogues gallery is crazy but, let's face it, their goals are pretty run-of-the-mill for crooks. Ours? The Joker, for instance, would probably try to cause the apocalypse if he thought it was funny.

[holyroleplaybatman]

What do you mean, your rogues gallery? Say, the Joker's a dangerous, daring devil!

[dickandharry]

I mean ours as in my reality's version of them. And he is, but your version of him is still predictable. My version of him...one week he could be plotting to paint the White House red, the next he could be beating up a five year old with a crowbar.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Holy child abuse! Who would do such a thing?

[theboywonder]

Trust me, I'm not sure you're gonna like it.

[holyroleplaybatman]

That seems to be what folks are saying. What did you think?

[theboywonder]

I would have liked it better if we were,you know, actually in it.

[holyroleplaybatman]

What does he do without us?

[theboywonder]

Brood?

[holyroleplaybatman]

Gosh, that's sad.

Kinda sounds like one of those Swedish movies I've heard of, though.

[tuff]

Glory, if you ain't something. They let you outta the house looking like that at sixteen?

[holyroleplaybatman]

Like what?

[tuff]

Like something outta a comic book is what. Most places require you wear pants and that's one of the few laws I never plan to break.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Oh, I'm real all right. And the costume? It's great for movement and stuff. You should try it. Tights are really freeing, once you get used to them.

[tuff]

Think I'll pass. Jeans have done me fine in rumbles since just about forever and I don't feel like switching 'em for underpants, thanks.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Oh they aren't underpants. But hey, no one's forcing you. This kinda thing really should only be done by the trained professional.

[tuff]

Guess it saves them professionals time when they get professionally pantsed.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Something tells me you don't understand the seriousness of this matter.

[tuff]

No, I reckon I don't.

[holyroleplaybatman]

The uniform cuts down on wind resistance and instills fear in criminals and confidence in the public!

[tuff]

Shoot! This's a criminal what's laughing at you, kid.

[wing_of_night]

[Dick will just be banging his head against a nearby wall. Seriously, did he really act like this at 16?]

[holyroleplaybatman]

Say, you'd better be careful! That looks dangerous.

[wing_of_night]

[Rubs at his forehead slightly.]

Trust me. I've been through worse, Dick.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Do you want to talk about it?

Wait, how do you know who I am?

[wing_of_night]

Not really.

Because I am you. Dick Grayson, sidekick of The Batman, also known as Bruce Wayne. The only difference between us is about... ten years or something around there.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Gosh. It must be pretty swell, being in your late-mid twenties.

[dickandharry]

If it helps, I only use the words "Golly gee whiz" sarcastically.

[wing_of_night]

It does. ...Slightly.

/sneaks on in here

[girl_friday]

I don't mean to alarm you, but it seems that you forgot to put on your trousers this morning.

I'm sure no one noticed.

[holyroleplaybatman]

I didn't forget, ma'am.

[thedarkbutler]

[Alfred wants to wrap you up and keep you away from Nolanverse forever, Dick.]

I'm sure your writer knows best, young Master Grayson. We must respect our elders, after all.

[holyroleplaybatman]

Golly, Alfred. You're right. You know I do, I just get a little excited, sometimes.

[thedarkbutler]

Don't we all. [He smiles fondly.]

How was Master Wayne, last time you saw him? [It's ridiculous to do this to himself, he knows. But he wants to know that somewhere, in some universe Bruce Wayne is living a relatively happy life.]

[holyroleplaybatman]

Super! Why just the other day, we took down the Penguin!

[thedarkbutler]

...

Why do they call him the Penguin? [He's almost afraid to ask.]

[holyroleplaybatman]

Uh... Well, because he calls himself that, I guess. I mean, it's only polite.