Planning on going to Lost Realm when it opens

[garantundkraft]

Oh, what's this, Herr Mundane? You've got plans for me?

Sure you do. I'll believe it when I see you actually finish that app. No offe- Actually, no, I take that back, kid. I don't give a shit if it offends you, but you've been pretty damn inconsistent and unreliable lately. Not exactly making me feel confident you'll get all this damn dust off of me and play me somewhere in any incarnation.

Least of all this one, 'cause God knows you can be a coward about the stupidest shit. Picking a remotely 'controversial' -and yeah, I definitely just used fingerquotes there, so don't give me that look- time period to play me from? I'll almost be impressed if you respond to anyone here.

Key word there is almost. It'll take following through on those plans to really impress me.

...

And do I wanna know why you and that other mundane are squealing like stuck pigs in your little communication box thing? Or is this one of those things I'm not gonna like and should just ignore while I still can?

Comments

[kartoffelstampfer]

Cowardly behavior won't get your mundane far, Bruder. If they worry about this sort of thing, my mundane is inclined to ask how they are supposed to act. But currently they seem to be too pleased to see you around to worry.

[Still, he frowns.]

Just don't cause any trouble.

[And that's his way of saying he's glad to see you too. Because warm greetings are his speciality.]

[garantundkraft]

::That's actually a very toasty greeting, all things considered. But...::

...You know, most normal people say something like, "Hi, big brother! How are you? Anything new going on?" But not my West. He just tells me to stay out of trouble - like my awesomeness goes looking for it! Kehhhh you just warm my heart, West.

::With a roll of his eyes, the teasing is out of the way for now.::

Yeah, yeah. I keep saying that! Cowardice doesn't win battles, let alone wars, and how can I be as great as I always am if the mun isn't even on the same continent as awesome? I can't!

[unalienable]

Do you kiss your brother with that mouth, Prussia?

[ Because rude! Where's the faith, man? ]

[garantundkraft]

::...What the...?::

Amerika...? When did you grow boobs?

::...That doesn't answer her question, Gilbo...::

[unalienable]

Ha!

[ Well, that's sort of a first! No one's ever outright asked her like that before. ]

I guess some time after you lost yours and grew a penis!

[ America grins and can't stop another giggle from escaping her. ]

Chill, okay? We're not from the same, uh, world. Parallel universes and stuff! Kinda like that one Christmas when those cat-eared people showed up. That happened for you too, didn't it? Anyway, where I'm from, most of us have always been women.

1/2

[garantundkraft]

Lost mine? Parallel universes? Cat-eared people?! ::That is several decades after his time, alas. But enjoy the very confused expression on his face for a moment before he figures this out.::

2/2

[garantundkraft]

Oh! You're just trying to confuse me! This is some kinda trick to make me give up important military secrets, isn't it? Well, you're not fooling me, so you better go and undo whatever you did to make you look like this! Kesesese! Like the awesome me could be fooled by such a thing.

[kartoffelstampfer]

If you want to be greeted differently, don't make people expect you to get in trouble. It's merely a matter of knowing you.

[A shrug. It's not like he worries or something. Not at all. Forever in denial.]

Continental distance... I see.

Still. They got this far. Getting past the remaining reluctance shouldn't be that much of a problem.

[Or so he hopes.]

[blitzkriegd]

You're one to speak about cowardice.

[garantundkraft]

But I don't get in trouble! Trouble finds me! ::Methinks the nation doth protest too much.:: You think I just go out there looking for messes to get into or something?

::Sigh.::

All else fails, I can always light a fire under their ass... ::That would be the tone of voice that implies actual fires being lit.::

[garantundkraft]

Huh, I thought I heard a noise...

Ahh, must just be my imagination, since I can't imagine an Englishman saying such things about the courage of Prussia.

[blitzkriegd]

Ah, so courage is hiding behind a crazy dictator now, is it?

[unalienable]

[ All worth it for that look of utter confusion. ]

How is being female supposed to do that?

[ She arches a brow. Just what is he implying?! Well, probably nothing, really, but it's more hilarious to act suspicious, if only because it may annoy him. ]

[garantundkraft]

::Gch! That's... that's a low blow...::

Oh, like you're so much better, cowering behind y-y-your st-stuttering king and that upstart America. I think you're just jealous I've got a boss with charisma and vision who just so happened to have been handing your arse to you on a platter.

::...Okay, so he's being a little generous with the praise of said crazy dictator, but. Loyalty. Honour. Respect. All those wonderful virtues. Yep.::

[kartoffelstampfer]

...Right. [Just a mild sigh here.] And no. But it's hard to deny your talent of creating them yourself, brother.

Setting your mundane on fire would only be one example. Hurting them may not have the desired effect anyway. [And he refrains from adding sadly to this. Because sometimes.......]

[garantundkraft]

Well, it's the oldest trick in the book. You send in a cute broad -or someone who looks like one- and have them seduce the important leader type guy. Or get him drunk. Preferably both. Then once he's nice and distracted, you wheedle all the secrets out of him, then BAM! Stab him in the back and flee.

Or, y'know, you just confuse the fuck outta him until he's so weirded out he lets things slip by accident.

Which is what I think you're going for here.

[garantundkraft]

W-well, it's hardly my fault if sometimes I don't properly anticipate the sheer amount of awesome my plans produce.

Hey, hey, hey! No one said anything about setting the mundane on fire! Just lighting one under his ass! There's a difference. ::Oh, Germany, just let it out. Include that sadly. He would be ever so proud to realise you do sometimes desire to injure your mundane.::

[blitzkriegd]

[ch-charisma? you mean with his oily hair and dumb little mustache? England acts as though he's listening, nodding thoughtfully. he actually wants to punch Prussia in the face when he mocks his King, but words can be sharper than knives, often deadlier]

Of course. How foolish of me. World domination has always been your goal. I suppose it can't be helped wanting to have more power when you don't have any at all. [his eyes narrow]

[unalienable]

...But you're no important leader type guy I'd waste that kind of time on.

[ Another laugh and she waves a hand dismissively at him. ]

Besides, you're over half a century late to the party, y'know!

[garantundkraft]

What d'you mean I'm not important?! We're kicking arse and taking land in Europe right now! ...Well, okay, so that Russian offensive went poorly but we'll recover from that, I'm sure...

::He clears his throat, doing his best to not reveal he's... exaggerating a bit about German military success.::

[kartoffelstampfer]

You merely get carried away, indeed. But when it doesn't help our cause, it gets bothersome to deal with. So, please, be careful and considerate with your actions.

Fires can easily get out of control. Also they tend to leave a mess. I don't recommend them as method of intimidation in general. [Of course you would want to hear him admit that, wouldn't you?]

[garantundkraft]

::Oh no you didn't.

Oh no you didn't.

Oh yes you fucking did. You just went there.

It. is. ON.

fuckarse.::

Oh, is that what you think? I don't have any power at all? Hah! If that's the case, then how is it that when your Prime Minister speaks of the war, he seeks to stamp out Prussia and not Germany, hm? Are you blind? I'm the real power in this war! Me! The awesome me! We wouldn't be even close to where we are today if it weren't for my government and my police force and my everything!

::Okay, so the Preußenschlag is a sore spot for him still. Very sore.::

You think you've got power?

I can't wait to crush you under my heel. I mean, come on, America beat you.

Oh, what was that? What's that got to do with here and now?

Oh yeah.

I fucking trained him.

[garantundkraft]

Okay, fine. No fires. But you're gonna have to give me something to work with here for intimidation purposes.

How about knives? Can I use knives? I mean, a gun might be a little excessive... and kinda messy if my finger slips... never mind a dead mundane doesn't do me any good...

::Yes, of course! He needs to know he didn't go horribly wrong somewhere in the whole 'raising a baby nation' process.

Though, the fact that you are nothing like America says he had to have done something right...::

[blitzkriegd]

[ahhh perhaps the worst thing Prussia could ever mention. while England was trying to be. you know. relevant to this war. Prussia decided to bring the past into this!

and you can just see England's pupils become smaller, see the subtle twitch of every muscle as though each one were trying to break free from his body and attack Prussia. it was the worst thing Prussia could say, but the easiest way to get under England's skin. if they were going to play that game, then England was going to easily get sucked in. because he can't forget the past, ever.

without a sound he flies forward and extends his arm to deck Prussia in the face]

[garantundkraft]

::VICTORY.

Is short lived, but still oh so delectably sweet.

He'll take that blow to the face, twisting with it. He brings his far hand up, grabbing for England's wrist. If he gets hold, he'll pull, using England's momentum to help drive the older nation into his elbow. And even if he doesn't get a grip, he's still thrusting that elbow out towards England's gut.::