basically furniture

[fish]

So at this point, it's pretty much, uh... remember back when I said my my cobwebs had cobwebs? Yeah. You know it's been even longer this time. So long I grew a really— I grew this super crazy mountain man beard, and then my beard actually grew its own beard. And then I decayed into a fine dust and blew away, like that one part in T2 where she's hanging on the fence and the thing exploded, and then everyone in the park like turned into ashes and exploded even more.
Only imagine she had a beard.

But it's fine, don't even worry about it. I can wait. You gotta keep workin on my lady-friend in the meantime, though. She's turning out so damn cute, I could just, like...put her in a little muffin cup and eat her for breakfast.

...What, I completely get mistaken for Linda Hamilton all the time. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Comments

:>?

[selich]

I'm kind of imagining Cousin It more than anything right now.

why hello

[fish]

That's basically the state of things over here. It's just hair, hair everywhere. The stylist is gonna need a hedge trimmer for this shit. I might actually be lying right now.

So hey, you're new.

[gleans]

I think the thing is, uh, "pics or beard didn't happen".

[selich]

Hey! [the cheeriest grin.] And no, this is reality for me now. I'm going to forever imagine you in a montage of a Galt MacDermot musical.

[fish]

Perfect.

Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.

[fish]

Nnnnnope.

[gleans]

Lame. You can't just let a beard like that go.

[fish]

Fine, here. Behold the majesty of this beard.

[selich]

Excellent. Although now I am thinking about if a beard would detract from an early 90's Linda Hamilton's sexiness.

Undecided.

[fish]

So hey, I hate that my typist was still thinking about this a day later and I hate you for bringing it up.

[fish]

I'm guessing not, if you find hilarity attractive. Plus she's got those kinda built arms... I'm pretty sure any girl looks good all sweated out in an army tank top, armed with like a massive gun. Even bearded ones.

[gleans]

I never thought I'd call a beard adorable, but that's fuckin' adorable. The bird is a nice touch.

[fish]

Yeah, great, it's real cute. I look like a fuckin...like a reject dwarf or something with this thing. Which never actually happened, just for the record.

[gleans]

Too late, already solidified in my mind as Things That Happened To Fish. The Time of the Beard.

[fish]

A beardo for all eternity. That's terrific.

Man, if people are gonna be remembering whatever happens, now I'm kinda glad I don't get to do a lotta stuff.

[gleans]

Hey, not like it's always gonna be beards, right?

[fish]

Sex you.

ouhsgkjha

[fish]

Sez. SEZ you.

TYPO DETONATION DETECTED, CRITICAL HIT

ABORT

ABORT

I CACKLED MIGHTILY

[gleans]

crying

[fish]