Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom

[squeak_squeaker]

Hey mun! Can we talk about my new sweater? I really like it. It's soft and snuggly and I look just like a Llamacrombie and Finch model! [Kronk tugged at it a bit, but not too much. Can't have it all stretched out.] Gee, I wonder who got turned into an alpaca so I could knit that sweater?

Had to be one big alpaca, I think! Hah. That God of the Dead guy sure was nice to help Yzma out like that... it's a shame it didn't work out in the end. Probably should've given him some fruit kebab before he left! Yeah.

At least I got to keep my cozy sweater. [Big smile! Then, scratching his chin a little in wonder.] I wonder why Yzma didn't wear one?

Comments

[big_tough_girl]

The God of the Dead guy? Nice?

His name wasn't Hades, by any chance, was it?

[squeak_squeaker]

He was really nice. He even cared about my fruit kebabs! Great guy. [Kronk smiled and then he had to think about that lady's question for a bit. Didn't Yzma call him... something else? Huh.] I dunno about that, ma'am, but he was a blueish greyish guy with fire hair!

His...uhh. His hairs where on fire.

[big_tough_girl]

Blueish greyish guy? With fiery hair? Did he speak like he was a used chariot salesman?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk nodded excitedly.]

Woah... it's like we know the same guy!

[big_tough_girl]

That's because we do, you big lug.

You could say I'm a former employee of his.

[squeak_squeaker]

Did he give you a new sweater too? [Kronk still... kind of liked him, Meg. But he liked everyone.]

[big_tough_girl]

No, he just gave me grief. You didn't strike a deal with him for the sweater, did you? Because he likes his deals the way Phil likes his nymphs.

[squeak_squeaker]

I don't think so! I think he just gave me the sweater because I looked cold or something. [Riiight.] He made a deal with Yzma though!

But I forgot what that was all about and... and stuff. [Kronk wasn't amazingly intelligent.]

[big_tough_girl]

[Megara sighs. Oh boy.]

You might wanna find out fast, handsome. Hades shouldn't be trusted.

Believe me.

[squeak_squeaker]

Thanks! I always eat my vegetables. [Vegetables made you handsome! True story.]

Wait...uhh. Find out about what?

[big_tough_girl]

Find out what the deal with Yzma is.

[Oh, Kronk. So pretty....and yet.]

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh yeah! Maybe I should ask her?

[Kronk had... other talents. He could talk to chipmunks! And he was one of the few men who looked good in a mini skirt.]

[big_tough_girl]

Probably be for the best.

[Megara had other talents too! None that she could really get into, though, without making her seem like a horrible person. She also knew one other person who looked fantastic in a mini-skirt.]

[squeak_squeaker]

Should I just go, 'HEY YZMA. What did that one blue guy say again? And do you want some fruit kebab for lunch?'

[Unlike Megara, Kronk was a very sweet kind of villain. He wasn't evil... at all. Hercules, who definitely worked his mini skirts as well, was probably more capable of plotting than Kronk was! And that said a lot.]

[big_tough_girl]

Maybe lighten her up with the lunch first? And then a facial or a foot massage or something. Something like that. We're always more willing to talk when we're being pampered. [Isn't everyone?]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk flinched visibly. He had to give Yzma a foot massage from time to time... but... but why today? Why now?]

...oh geez. Do I really have to? [Because blindly following a strangers' instructions was totally smart, Kronk.]

[big_tough_girl]

[Meg caught the flinch and raised an eyebrow. Already an unpleasant job that's been done before?]

Sometimes, to get what we want, we have to do things that we aren't particularly proud to do.

[Personal experience, Meg?]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk's situation was worse, since Yzma didn't even give him anything in return! He was really very bad at exchanging his, ahem, manly charms for favors. Since... there where no favors to be had, really. You tried, Kronk.]

Yeah... I know. But her feet look like dead people feet!

[big_tough_girl]

[Now it's Meg's turn to look disgusted.]

Must be why Hades popped by for a visit. Might be his sort of thing.

So why do you stick around, then?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk just shrugged his broad shoulders.] Yzma's my boss!

[And to Kronk, who was amazingly naive, that meant loyalty until Yzma decided to get rid of him.] I can't leave Yzma, she needs someone to help her and stuff.

[big_tough_girl]

[Meg watches Kronk for a long moment before smiling.]

You're just an all-around nice guy, aren't you?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk smiled and fidgetted with his right sweater sleeve a bit. Shy?] Just trying to make the Junior Chipmunk scouts proud and...uh. And trying to be nice and helpful!

[big_tough_girl]

Well, you're certainly a refreshing tall drink of water. I like it. There aren't a lot of guys like that left.

[squeak_squeaker]

[That confused Kronk a lot bit.] ...tall guys?

[big_tough_girl]

Tall guys I've seen plenty of.

Sometimes, more than I necessarily wanted to.

No, I mean nice guys.

[squeak_squeaker]

Hah. Because they're tall! I get it. [...that definitely went over Kronk's head.]

Oh...uhh. Not EVERYTHING I do is nice. I almost killed a llama once, but I couldn't do it.

[big_tough_girl]

[Meg blinks again. Oh, Kronk. So sweet. So innocent.]

Yeah. That's, uh, that's exactly it.

Well, the fact that you scared it makes you nice, doesn't it?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was relieved that he finally understood someone's joke! That never happened.]

It wasn't a real llama! It was Emperor Kuzco after Yzma turned him into a llama... I'd never hurt a real llama. They're all cute and fuzzy. And cute. [Kronk didn't want that nice lady to think that he liked to scare or hurt harmless animals!]

LOL. That was supposed to read "saved it" not "scared it". /headdesk/

[big_tough_girl]

Yzma doesn't seem like the sweetest person, if she's making deals with Hades and turning Emperors into llamas.

LOL I should have figured. XD ~Kronk moment~

[squeak_squeaker]

Yzma's not a nice lady. [But Kronk was still loyal to her... even after she gets turned into a cat. He was definitely much too sweet for his own good!]

But...uh. Maybe she'll become nicer one day, right? [Riiiiiight.]

XD

[big_tough_girl]

Maybe, but...well.

Usually, that sort of thing is rare.

[squeak_squeaker]

You never know!

You...uhh. You seem like you're a nice lady already. Do you want a sort of burned fruit kebab? [Smooth!]

[big_tough_girl]

Why not? A girl's gotta eat.

[pause. Is she nice? She certainly hasn't considered herself good or pure in awhile.]

So, you got a name to go with those mad grilling skills of yours, handsome?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk cheerfully handed her a pineapple kebab on a stick, before blinking.]

My name's Kronk! [Someone named their child Kronk. Just... let that sink in for a while, Meg.] What's your name?

It'd be funny if your name was also Kronk, but I don't think 'Kronk' is a girl name.

[big_tough_girl]

Megara, actually.

But my friends call me Meg.

All three of them.

Or two, considering one's a winged horse that doesn't exactly speak.

[squeak_squeaker]

My only friends are Yzma and Bucky, he's a little squirrel! [Kronk thought Meg was a lot easier to say. Back home, they didn't have any long, fancy names like Megara.]

Everyone just calls me 'Kronk' and...uh. And Yzma calls me 'big idiot' a lot too. [Looking down in shame! Why, Yzma?]

[big_tough_girl]

Nasty bosses are the worst, Kronk. I'd get out, if I was you. No one deserves to be treated like that.

[squeak_squeaker]

But Yzma needs someone to carry her around and make sure she eats right! Wanna... see Yzma's picture? [A picture was worth a thousand words, especially in Yzma's case.]

[big_tough_girl]

Considering that her feet look like dead people feet, I'm not so sure that's a good idea?

[squeak_squeaker]

But...uh. But then you get why she needs to eat right and stuff. [Kronk won't show it if she REALLY doesn't want to look at Yzma, though! Can't blame her.]

[big_tough_girl]

Maybe another time, Kronk.

[She smiles.]

I just ate.

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah, I know! Did you like your fruit kebab?

I was thinking of baking chocolate fudge cheesecake next. [He picked his apron up and tied it around his waist. Looking snuggable! Was that a real word?]