On possibly apping to mayfield_rpg and AU ideas

[theboywhointerrupted]

So... let me get this straight.

Instead of letting me go and hear what the Once-ler has to say, you want to take me to this really weird and creepy place where a younger him is there, who... doesn't... know what he did yet? Or - do you even know?

Right. You don't. Great start. And how, exactly, is this going to help get a tree for Audrey?

...Wait, Audrey is going to be there? And we'd be... living together?

Uh.

Well, then.

I still need a tree, you know.

As for that whole dystopia thing, you can just forget it. O'Hare is causing Thneedville enough problems without you helping out. And, uh, being not being hunted down and, uh, you know. Tortured. Or--or anything. That would be really awesome.

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[hairflyingheartpounding]

You'd be living with Audrey and Once-ler?

[theboywhointerrupted]

Well, my mun hopes so, at least. If she doesn't lose interest.

Do you know them?

[hairflyingheartpounding]

I live with them! I'd be your fake mother, then!

[theboywhointerrupted]

Wh--whoa, what?

[Fake mother? What? What?]

But I already have a mom!

[Also this woman reeeaaally doesn't look old enough to be a mom. Like, only-just-older-than-Audrey aged. Sort of. He's not the best judge of age.]

[hairflyingheartpounding]

...Oh! I guess you don't know yet, then.

See, in Mayfield, the town or... Something; someone... Sets people up in fake families. The drones, the people who think Mayfield is home, act like they're real families.

...But don't worry. I'm not going to try to replace your mother; I promise.

[theboywhointerrupted]

Okaaaaay, upping the creepy factor. Great stuff.

But, uh, it's good to know you won't - you know - try to be my mom. That would be kind of weird. As long as you don't dance to disco trees, though, it should be okay.

[hairflyingheartpounding]

It is very creepy, but it's kind of nice. It keeps you from starting out alone.

...I'm not sure what disco is.

[theboywhointerrupted]

[Unbidden, his thoughts flicker to the Once-ler, cooped up alone outside town for who knows how many years. Going crazy, probably only keeping himself occupied with those weird musical numbers and trying to spin out Ted's visits.]

...Yeah. Being alone isn't that great.

And that's definitely a good thing. Trust me on this. Especially when people mix disco with trees and mom dancing.

[hairflyingheartpounding]

No, it's really not... But you'll have us. And I'll introduce you to Lion and Tir and Ilsa and Gumshoe and Jim and everyone else, too!

Um... Well, okay!

[theboywhointerrupted]

Cool. Are they friends of yours?

[Maybe this won't be such a bad deal. It would be cool to meet the Once-ler before he got all old and screwed everything up, and this woman seems pretty cool and Audrey--

Which is about when he realises the obvious.]

...Ohhh. Hold up a sec. Didn't you say that these drone thingies think we're all family? Like, as in, me and Audrey? Family?

[hairflyingheartpounding]

Yes. They're-- Well, Audrey is lovely. Once-ler is... Difficult. But I don't mind that.

Mmmhmm! It's not really a big deal, though, as long as you don't do anything that will make them freak out.

[grandfathersnail]

Excuse me for tooting my own horn here, but I think it's a fantastic start. If you got any closer to her, you'd spook her.

Don't get me wrong, you probably already scare the bejeezus out of her, but at least you won't have to try so hard now.

[theboywhointerrupted]

[OH HEY look who it is, along with a... wow, that is one enormous mustache.]

Scare her?

[He scowls, shaking his head.]

No way! Audrey is my friend. I don't scare her! And I don't try so hard-- well - okay, that's not the point here!

[grandfathersnail]

Scare, intimidate, startle, wig out... You know, the whole nine yards.

If you tried any harder, you'd have to change your name to Boot T. Kisser. People don't typically try go out and buy expensive toys for the sake of crashing them into a girl's yard. That's a little creepy even for me.

[theboywhointerrupted]

It's not creepy! And - hey! Even for you? What's that supposed to mean? Have you ever had a girlfriend?

[grandfathersnail]

T-That isn't the point! And what do you THINK it means? I thought we'd already established that I'm a very scary old man. Just an ominous thunder clap away from being terrifying, actually.

[...]

...Right?

[theboywhointerrupted]

Hmmm...

[Ted scrutinizes the old man, tilting his head to the side as he considers.]

Creepy, maybe. Terrifying? Noooot so much once you started with the whole musical numbers and adorable forest animals and frolicking with marshmallows thing. It kind of, you know, breaks your stride a little.

[grandfathersnail]

It was supposed to add to my mystique! Clearly I didn't try hard enough.

[theboywhointerrupted]

How was feeding sweets to animals supposed to add to your mystique?

[grandfathersnail]

You didn't expect it from me, did you? It just goes to show you: there's more to me than meets the eye.

Obviously it was all lost on you. [not going to pout, no sir. HMPH.]

[theboywhointerrupted]

...Fine, okay. I'll admit that when I was evading your death traps of doom and mutilation, I wasn't expecting you to be the type of guy who frolicked.

The whole casually almost killing the creatures as you throw around your possessions somehow didn't surprise me, though.

[grandfathersnail]

It wasn't frolicking, it was...boogieing. There's a difference, you know. A kid your age should know that.

...Yeah, well. That's neither here nor there. [if he was a little younger, he'd be completely adamant that it wasn't his fault. they had eyes and ears, didn't they? surely they could have gotten out of the way.] There's still a lot you don't know about me. Give me a little more credit.

fashionably late

[treefetish]

Ted! Are you really coming to Mayfield? [aw yeah +1 biffle]

As am I, oops

[theboywhointerrupted]

Probably! My mun is really excited about playing me somewhere.

[treefetish]

You're not going to believe this place; it's crazy! There are trees everywhere! Also, the town does weird stuff to mess with people's minds. [note which one has obvious priority for her]