dear_mun | (no subject)

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canon: dc live action

(no subject)

I don't care that I wasn't in the movie. Do I look like I care? I don't care.

I was having a massive party at my fortress of solitude and I think we all know who wasn't invited. That's right. Batman wasn't invited. So he was being lame over in Gotham while I- while I was having the best time ever. Without Batman.

Pffff why would I be jealous?

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I don't know, Bruce does like to throw those lavish parties at his mansion.

Wait- Bruce? As in billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne?

Batman knows Bruce Wayne?!

....Clark? Clark Kent. [But it's said more as a confirmation--this is just plain too weird not to be true.]

[Damn it! Does everyone known his secret identity?]

What? No. No! I'm Superman- you see the cape and- and the superhero outfit? Clark doesn't wear these. He wear normal clothes. Like. Shirt and things.

And glasses. I don't wear glasses.

Right, right, normal clothes. Like button-ups in convenient primary colors. And plaid. [Totally playing along. Kind of.]

Yes! Exactly! The guy- the guy loves plaid. He should marry it, he loves it so much. [Hahahaha this laugh is totally not forced. Nope. No sirree.]

Do I- I mean. Does Clark know you? [wait that's still wrong-] Do you know Clark!?

Kind of. We've been best friends since seventh grade.

The one from back home, anyway. Then again, that particular brand of Kent also still goes by 'the Red-Blue Blur'.

Well, of course you wouldn't invite Bats! He's such a downer. Last time I invited him to one of my parties, he beat up all of the other guests! [On the plus side, he got an Achievement from it!]

...Hey you had a party and you didn't invite me? I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!

Well, that's weird because I've known Clark for waaaay longer than that and I've never even heard of you.

[Ha! Take that strange woman. Can't slide anything past Superman]

Exactly! No one even wants him around because he's such a loser. That's another reason I should be everyone's favorite hero and not him.

[And why doesn't superman have an awesome game with achievements!?]

Ohhh- yeah. Sorry about that. Uh- I think Batman blew up the owl with your invitation. He thought it was a spy bird or something.

[Harry is going to pout just a little and fold his arms across his chest]

Damn that Batman! Who does he think he is? I mean, he's not even the best superhero. And his sidekick, Robin? Robin sucks, man. You on the other hand, you're totally awesome.

Damn right they suck! In fact, they-

Wait, you- you really think that? [touching piano chord offstage]

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