Homeless / Garbleblasted 4th Wall Event

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

You claim you have my most beautiful voice in your head and you wish to "play it out", never mind that I am the furthest thing to a plaything creation has ever made.

And what is the first thing you have done?

You put me on a wretched, multifaceted world where furless apes apes who don't even have proper clothing are the dominant species. Don't tell me that it is only temporarily, I've seen the results of your other so-called "muses" been put through.

At least my death by the panda was on my own terms.

Comments

[sonofgoose]

The apes aren't so bad, Shen.

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

I'll decide that, panda.

[sonofgoose]

But...you haven't even met any and you're already, like, you know...picking out reasons to not like them, so. It's like you have to give them a chance because they're like everybody else. They just...have to wear a lot of clothes because they're small and need to eat more.

Also, you know. Uh. Hi.

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

[ How appalling. ]

I am already giving them a chance. If I like what I see, then there's no need to bring in the cannons.

[sonofgoose]

[Excuse you get that blade out of his face, fine sir.]

You don't, uh. You know, we kind of—after you were—not aroun—there's, well. You see, we kind of...there are no more cannons.

[Or pandas.]

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

[ Stop existing, panda, and he just might. ]

Are you always this incoherent?

[sonofgoose]

[It's not his fault you're not as thorough as you thought!]

What? No. I was trying to avoid saying: after you were dead, we dismantled all your weaponry and, as such, you have none to rely on unless you make them from scratch. [There's a half roll of his eyes and a shrug.] I was just trying to not talk about you being dead, because that seems a bit...impolite.

1/2

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

[ It's not Shen's fault that you didn't die out in the cold like any babe would!

Excuse Shen, Po, he is going to have some inner agony ripping apart his soul as he comprehends this travesty. ]

2/2

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

I prefer talking about my death, thank you.

[sonofgoose]

[SORRY BRO HE HAS A HEART BIGGER THAN HIS FAT STOMACH THESE THINGS HAPPEN]

Yeah, but that's because you're. I'm sorry I didn't, I. That I couldn't stop it from falling I just...I know you made your choice and all, but I just feel like I could have. If I was stronger or faster I could have stopped it.

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

[ ...heavens above, how is it that this is the warrior that is destined to defeat him? ]

Panda.

What were the last words I said?

[sonofgoose]

[There's a bit of a shrug. Here, bro, have some more word vomit of sweetness to angst about in your death land.]

I know, look, I understand. But I don't. Life gets tough, and not everyone has the happiest start. It happens. One of the Furious Five—Tigress, she didn't have a happy beginning, either. But. It was your choice, I get that, I don't stay up late at night and feel guilty or anything, since it was your decision, I just...don't understand why you wouldn't put a few minute's thought into it. I just don't get it, but I respect it?

oh hey 'sup <3

[fireworkfeather]

Despite our distaste for the "furless apes" called humans, I've unfortunately discovered there are far worse beings that prove more than merely an utter nuisance.

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

Name one.

Excluding the obvious.

[fireworkfeather]

For example? Monstrous Sea Deities.

1/3

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

[ ... ]

2/3

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

3/3 DONE

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

I don't suppose not even Kung Fu works against them?

[fireworkfeather]

I would assume not. Though I confess I'd be somewhat bemused to see the panda attempt to take on a creature with tentacles at least ten times the size of your common octopus. Even that I believe is beyond his idiotic skill and even more idiotic luck.

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

Sometimes, I wish it was the tigress was the one that defeated us.

[fireworkfeather]

For what reason? Defeat is defeat. Such a thing would not lessen our failure.

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

At least she doesn't bother the embarrassing option of redemption.

But you - we - are right. Our beginning started with fire and our end resulted in metal.

hi where's my brain tonight sorry <_>;

[fireworkfeather]

[a slight scoff]
We failed, and whether or not we were "wrong" matters not. I would rather die a failure in my ambitious than live having forsaken them.

[sonofgoose]

...I'm right here. I can hear you. Just letting you, uh. Know.

Yeah.

[fireworkfeather]

Yes, panda. We know.
We don't care.

[sonofgoose]

I guess I'll just.

Be over here.

[fireworkfeather]

Good.
The farther away, the better.

[sonofgoose]

[Oh no, he can't resist.]

It doesn't matter, you talk so loudly I could hear you a mile away.

[fireworkfeather]

Then don't LISTEN, PANDA. As though you ever even DO.

[sonofgoose]

It's kind of difficult, considering all you do is really...talk. And you know, no offense, but you have a voice that kind, uh...it gets under the skin on your ears and it's like, whoa. I can't ignore that. [He bites his lip, fidgeting. Crane has these issues, too...] And you. Uh. You squawk.

[fireworkfeather]

I DON'T SQUAWK!!!

[whoa sudden loud outburst hello]

[sonofgoose]

[HOLY CRAP HE NOW KNOWS WHY THEY DON'T MENTION THIS TO CRANE

RULE ONE OF JADE PALACE: DON'T TALK ABOUT CRANE BEING A BIRD
RULE TWO OF JADE PALACE: DON'T TALK ABOUT CRANE BEING A BIRD]

[fireworkfeather]

[Heavy, angered panting]

...I... am royalty.
Royalty does not squawk.

[sonofgoose]

[oh no oh no]

You're a bird. Birds squawk. It's just, like, a part of you. It's cool, though, just accept it. It's not a big deal.

I mean, I have issues with finding things I can sit on. Because, you know, I'm a bear.

[fireworkfeather]

YOU'RE A WALKING CORPSE!

... At least, that is what you should be.

[wow Shen you're impressively bipolar tonight]

[sonofgoose]

[AT LEAST HE'S IMPRESSIVE?]

Don't you have to be dead to be a corpse? And, while we're on the topic of corpses...you always do this, man. I don't really like to...can we just. Not? You failed, okay. It's over. The end. Let it go, Shen, just...it's not worth it. It's never been worth it.

[fireworkfeather]

...
What makes you believe something as trivial as death will ever calm my rage?
Especially when even in death, I still suffer the eternal torment of encountering you?

[sonofgoose]

I didn't say that. You say I don't listen, but you don't listen to anyone else, either. I said that it's old. I'm over it. I'm done. There's no point if all you're going to do is say the same stuff over and over. Just move on. You've moved on physically, and you're here or whatever, and that's fine. But you can't just keep clinging to something that's never going to happen.

I can't run around trying to find other pandas, and you can't rule China or kill me or whatever. Move on.

And me? You knew I was here and you talked about me like I was just going to not say anything. Though, considering everything I just said? Next time? I won't be bothered. That's it. I'm done.

[fireworkfeather]

[wow words words words words sheesh Po do you ever stop talking]

... Have you ever considered I would simply be at peace if I could only never see your disgusting face EVER AGAIN?

[sonofgoose]

[Dude, you are bringing this on yourself.]

Have you considered that I might have liked to have other pandas in my life at one point? I get it. Your parents exiled you. That hurt everything. This isn't exactly easy for me, either. But I doubt you really care about me. I doubt you care about much other than yourself and maybe the Soothsayer.

You made your decision. Stop blaming me for something I honestly had nothing to do with. I lived. There's a panda. That's not my fault.

[fireworkfeather]

I never blamed you.

That changes nothing.

[sonofgoose]

You just said that you might be able to achieve peace if you never had to see my face again.

Man, I'm starting to think you don't listen to yourself, either.

[fireworkfeather]

You are simply a reminder that I could not defy my horrible fate.

That is all.

[sonofgoose]

[What is a moped? Po doesn't know, but if it's good enough for the Hulk, it's good enough for a panda. He's just going to scoot on out of this, buddy. HE SAID HE WAS DONE

But he'll have a post or something tomorrow for you to bomb, rest assured in your pillow of hate and your blanket of vitriol! BEEP BEEP]

[defeatedbyblackandwhite]

Pot, met Kettle.

[herodecoded]

I see only a simpering fool who is a plaything to his own desires.

[That attitude is too much like Megatron.]

[strawberryredgrave]

Yeah, except it's not really a world. It's in space, smart guy. Last I checked, it was those alien fuckers who were in charge, anyway.