dear_mun | on reserve at rubycity

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on reserve at rubycity_rp!

My dear madam mun! This is quite a smashing surprise if i do say so myself.
I can hardly remember a time where you felt it prudent enough to expose me to the calamitous clusterfuck of this place and i have to say that its an adventure im awaiting with baited breath!

Oh? Whats this? Could it be that youre still holding qualms about this? Preposterous nonsense i say!
You have my firm belief that this endevour will go off without a single hitch or god blast it to heck and back again i will ensure that it be so!!

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And how exactly will you accomplish that?
This isn't your island Jake.
You can't fight your mun's battles for her, and no amount of bullets and gun powder will change that.

Well ill never know unless i try! It would be more than a little uncouth of me to leave the poor dame on her own without attempting to express my wishes to aid her in some way. Surely you would do the same for your mun if the need were to arise my good chap!

I don't trust my mun.
I don't know what she's planning, and she knows all of my plans.
It's frustrating and more than a little disconcerting.
I've asked around about muns, and the reports are far from positive.
Maybe you have an exception to the rule, but for the most part, they tend to enjoy making us suffer.

Oh come now dirk theres no reason not to be a good ol sport and see what your mun has in store for you. Certainly it cant be anything too godawfully atrocious.
From what little i can wrangle from my own mundane it would appear that yours is of stalwart camaraderie.

You'd be surprised.
When I first arrived here, I was convinced that the muns had some connection to the Batterwitch.
Now, I'm positive they just find enjoyment in torturing us.
I've heard some pretty messed up shit here.

An alien chick I know is going to be there with you.
She thinks I'm overreacting about this, but she still agreed to make sure you don't get into too much trouble.
I guess I'm there too, so with all luck your mun won't be one of the real wack jobs and you'll make it through alright.

Now wait just a damn tootin minute here strider!! Do you mean to say that your initial suspicious led you to believe this was the work of the heinous baker bitch? Why the frig didn't you tell me sooner??
Although i suppose if youve been convinced otherwise...but that still strikes me as being a point we would be well worth noting. You were only just informing me of the great and wicked damage that witch has done in your time after all.
Or a brain you was.
A brain you made by me that was you in my head while i was arrested in a not-so-peaceful slumber.

Argh, and now youre telling me the foxy space vixen will be there too?? This is certainly rotten luck indeed. Ugh i just hope i will be able to keep my cool as a cucumber composure this time around.
Without any YOUS or BRAIN YOUS meddling!!!

_{[Because the fact that it could be a different alien chick doesn't cross his mind at all.]}

That's correct.
We're essentially slaves here, and there's literally no chance at having a successful rebellion because they're everywhere and control your every action.
Sound a little familiar?
Plus, spiriting this many people out of their homes and keeping us contained here is no small feat.
I couldn't think of anyone but the Batterwitch who was capable enough.
I realized though, that this sort of thing doesn't fit in with her plans at all.
We aren't being forced to assimilate to her culture at all.
We're just being controlled.
In addition, there's no sign that there's any authority above the muns.
They run rampant and do whatever they please, and even within the restrictions of a "game," they can still get away with a lot.

Ahaha, no, not that one.
A different one.
Never fear Jake.
Unless you find weird blind chicks attractive, I don't think you have to worry about mysterious visitors in your pants.

This is all sounding mighty discombobulated to me. If the batterwitch is not the scoundrel behind this friggin fiasco then who the hell is? It must be a heinous gambit of some kind but for the life of me i cant fathom as to what its purpose may be.
Jesus christmas im feeling a mite bit bamboozled just trying to work my head around it!

A different one you say? So one of her dead alien space vixen compadres. What a positively smashing development! Now lets keep it that way and keep my pantaloons out of it.

Neither can I.
Usually, unlike this particular case, muns don't tend to know each other either.
They're all separate people who gather here for some reason to use us for entertainment.
Yet, somehow they all know what they're doing as soon as they arrive here, and from the moment we get here, they have at least partial control over us.
All information I can gain on the subject is strictly from others here, and everyone I've spoken with knows as little as I do.

Not exactly.
Technically, this alien "vixen" comes from your blue beauty's future.
Or her past, depending on how you think about it.
It's a pretty complex situation.
She's also very much alive.
I've had the pleasure of meeting her outside of my mun's head.

the shitiest place in existence if ya ask me
and i dont even know where you are setting off to be shipped to
but i can guarantee one thing
it will suck
puking your guts out over on the starboard bow suckage
yep
all the 'adventures' are like that over here
you get stuck somewhere and away from everyone you care about and then you have to survive
at least where my adventure is i have to survive
though enough about your unimportant adventures how about we focus on the important thing here
called me
yep the best strider around
and i got a question for you
why are you all up and looking like that
dork ahoy
looks like egderp got a brother

I beg your pardon? This impending adventure seems like just the thing to tickle my fancy and is certainly not unimportant!
And for that matter did you just call yourself strider? That is downright preposterous! You sound nothing like dirk.

...actually now that i think about it a number for things youve said strike me as odd. Who in the blazes are you??

But why in the blazes would a bunch of strangers congregate in this place for such a mundane reason? If youll excuse the pun.
This is unlike anything i have ever heard of before thats for sure. And it certainly must be something gargantuan if its stumped you as well.

Goodness golly gracious are there just hot alien babes popping up everywhere now?? *Tugs subtlety at shirt collar.*

you are talking to the coolest of cool kids
finest pieces of fast paced ass that ever has come from an ectobiological spawning
but dont worry about being confused
i have that effect on people
some just cant handle the ironies that i dish out

I will admit that what youve said is quite befuddling. Really i am quite perplexed my good sir.
Would it be too much to ask for you to simply explain yourself?

a lot to explain and so little time
gotta ask specifics sir
i dont got the time to answer everything ya know
gotta go fast

Okay.
First would you like to explain why youre being so infuriatingly roundabout with a charming dash of douchebaggery?

just my style you deadbeat carcass of I DARE SAY a british hippy bucktooth egderp clone
with a tad bit more grit but a tablespoon extra of derp essentials
not appealing

Dude,you know me, I am all about the puns.
It wouldn't be so much of a mystery if I had any data, any facts at all, but I've already told you all the true facts I know.
The rest is purely speculation.

Keep it together Jake.
A game is not a place to be fawning over aliens.
You have to be careful.
Muns are at their most brutal there.

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