Here there be Spoilers for MTMTE #6

[rememberme]

I know why you're doing this. Why you're really doing this, but I'd like to address that later. And while I can't say I approve of your methods of finding balance, that isn't what I want to talk to you about today.

I'd like to direct your attention to my current physical state; the one you intend for my arrival (if we're accepted).

Now I want you to ask yourself something: Is this honestly, completely necessary? 

You are aware I'm going to be at a rather ... pronounced disadvantage, but have you taken into consideration the long lasting effects of your decision?

That's something I'd like you to think about.

Comments

[rememberme]

[He guesses he should be touched, maybe? About something. He'll figure out a silver lining here, eventually. Later. But right now he can't get over the fact that is actually happening. In real life. Right here. Right now.

Ultra Magnus is asking for documentation that he doesn't actually have on his person.

No you don't understand. This is a REALLY. BIG. DEAL.]

Um. Well. [Aha! ... Aha? Maybe aha??]

If you were my patient I would have the clearance. And as residence Psychotherapist of the Lost Light and the entire crew, you kind of fall under my jurisdiction (?).

[There shouldn't be a question mark in there, it just slipped in by itself somehow.]

But really, if you would just check my serial code (the very improbable:) one-hundred-thousand, you'd see I'm fully registered to practice. Here, look: [/Tiny ball bearing armpit bearing]

[Please don't make this a big deal. That would be awesome if you didn't.]

[officer_ocd]

[Are you seriously--seriously--even daring to think that Ultra Magnus will not make a violation of the law into a big deal? ]

[Someone in this conversation is a little unbalanced. And the only reason Ultra Magnus hasn't slapped Rung in cuffs right now is he doesn't have a pair on him small enough.]

[You can't even imagine how much distress that is causing him.]

I am not your patient. [Because does he look like he needs your services? REALLY?] I hold my authority from Chief Justice Tyrest himself. Of the Galactic Council.

[In less regal terms, Nyah.]

[As you stand exposing your armpit, Ultra Magnus will just look. From all the way up here. ALL the way down there.]

The real Rung's serial code is one hundred million. [He doesn't just read those files, Rung, or should he say....IMPOSTER.]

[rememberme]

You could be, if you wanted. All you'd have to do is sit down and we could talk. About anything really; regulations, law breakers, rules... We could talk about your feelings toward the [VERY SLIGHT INTERNAL TWINGE that makes him feel just a touch guilty] abridged Autobot code.

[The minute he verbally typos his own serial code though, the pit drops out of his abdominal cavity and he can just feel his life spinning out of control. Everything is over.]

That's what I meant. It's the air over my brain module-- and I'm pretty sure my numerical processing centres are scorched too... But I really do know my own serial number. [You've got to believe him.]

Just look. If you'd just look a little closer, that's what mine is: one hundred million.

[He just wants to cradle his helm in his hands, curl up into a little ball, and roll away. And he thought the whole head-guts-hanging-out-of-his-face thing was bad, well that was nothing compared to dealing with Ultra Magnus and a perceived law infraction, or worse, the dreaded violation.

He'd had patients, man; patients who'd been through this and were never the same. One poor spark forgot to carry a 1 in contract, and it just ruined his entire outlook on life. It was a tragedy, really.]

[officer_ocd]

I do not want. [Spill what he knows to an obvious impostor? He's onto your nefarious plot, whoever you are.]

[But he can't help, since you brought it up:] The Abridged Code is a blasphemy. [No true Autobot uses the abridged Autobot Code. He shudders at the thought. All that wonderfully convoluted grammar: like a beautiful labyrinth with JUSTICE at the center.]

[Right. Like he's going to bend down and bring himself into whatever shortrange weapon you have. Ultra Magnus arrested Whirl: he's onto all sorts of tricks.]

You are aware that it is a serious offense to knowingly provide falsified information to an officer of the law.

Or was that not covered in the Abridged version?

[Ignorance of the law is no excuse, Rungposter.]

I highly recommend you surrender now to prevent any...unpleasantness.

[rememberme]

I--

[He's not entirely sure you see what you've just done there, but you've put him into a loophole nightmare of JUSTICE.]

But I haven't done anything wrong.

["Unpleasantness"]

Magnus, I have a hole in my head. I got this when Swerve shot me through the window of my office. I'm not an imposter.

[Just:
]

[officer_ocd]

[Ultra Magnus is definitely having that aforementioned Moment (tm) right now. He is a rigid, quivering tower of OUTRAGED RIGHTEOUSNESS.]

You haven't done anything wrong?!

[DEEP BREATH.]

You have:

Charge one: Providing false identity information--to wit, a falsified serial code--to an officer of The Law.

Charge two: You have refused to produce proper documentation when requested and required by an officer of The Law.

[He likes The Law.]

Charge three: Obstruction of Justice, in the above two counts. An additional charge for evading inquiries and questions.

And charge four: [Very distasteful frown] you are out of uniform.

[He huffs at your pathetic excuses.] I do not find those circumstances mitigating.

[rememberme]

[Rung has never wanted to throttle anyone in his life before, hell, he doesn't even have a throttle. This is a new and frightening experience for him.]

...











"Uniform?"

[officer_ocd]

[Oh, please do prove yourself prone to violence, Rung. Ultra Magnus could use the exercise of subduing you.]

Uniform.

[Huff.] As the UNabridged Autobot Code clearly states, an Autobot must be within functional parameters at all times.

So.

[He waves his fingers.] That...head thing.

[1/3]

[rememberme]

[There's not much there to subdue. Heck, blow him a kiss, Magnus, and you're liable to knock him over.]


...


[Wow. He's just got no words for you. And he's a psychologist who's job it is to TALK to people. That's quite the feat.]

[Just. Just give him a minute here.]

2/3

[rememberme]

I...

[That was a valiant effort, Rung.]

1/1

[rememberme]

I surrender????

[Spindly little arms are raised in the universal sign of 'alright you got me, Copper, now what're you gonna do with a naughty little thing like me' 'I'm unnamed, please put your handsome hamfists and/or guns down.'

It makes Rung look about as threatening as a tiny little bunny made of clouds surrounded by marshmallows. And more clouds.]

[officer_ocd]

[Ultra Magnus would like to remind you that blowing a kiss would place him, Ultra Magnus, under charges of fraternization. Nice try, criminal, to draw him into your iniquity.]

Hnh. The first helpful thing you've said all day.

[Do you not know that bunnies are vicious?]

According to the Autobot Code, that document you have repeatedly flouted and disrespected, as a prisoner of The Law, anything you say will be used against you in any forthcoming trial or non-judicial punishment. Additionally, you are entitled to medical care. You will remand yourself to the Medibay immediately.

[Ah, a success story, Rung: Ultra Magnus is now happy.]

[rememberme]

[But they're so small and so useless against our big metal feet. Also, addendum: Those cloud bunnies are actually cloud dust bunnies.]

[He's not... sure what just happened. Was this all part of the plan? Uh, is he looking too far into things here...? M-maybe it's better not to over-analyze the situation for his own sanity.

Even though, you know, the nearest Medibay was where he was going in the first place...]

Er, yes.
And Magnus, the next time I see Rodimus, I just want you to know that I'm going to put forward a strong recommend you be booked for a session.