first post (canon is Fight Club - book or movie)

[vividimagination]

One day you wake up and find yourself trapped in a room with padded walls and a lime green floor. There are no noises in heaven. Everything's got its volume turned down, copying the blissful post-fight state you are used to.

Fake.

One day you wake up and you realize that what you thought was heaven is nothing but another station on life's subway. Hitting bottom? It is impossible in a room so soft that you could drop a baby and it would spring right back at you like a basketball. Impossible in a place where the angels wear rubber-sole shoes and bring you meds that keep you so high you think you're flying.

You wake up and suddenly your life is all you ever wanted, all you never wanted.

Tyler is still gone.

You can't celebrate something like that, because there is this part of you that will always miss him, that wants to find him. Fuck the meds, fuck the padded walls and the lime green floor, and fuck the new voice inside my head. I don't want you, Mun - you are no better than Marla. If Marla was a tumor, you are blood poisoning, a toxic flowing in my veins and setting every nerve cell on fire. I want to puke, I want to clean myself, I want to hit bottom.

I want Tyler.

Comments

oh let me love you, you glorious thing you.

[sharpsuitfluffytail]

You, uh... alright over there, sport? Off your meds, listening to too much Linkin Park? I recommend more of the first, a lot less of the latter, mkay? Should be right as rain in no time.